The interwebs are abuzz over a story that beloved domestic goddess Ina Garten has refused adamantly to meet with a Make A Wish child named Enzo. The kid, who suffers from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, reportedly wanted to cook with Ina, but his request was denied two years in a row, the second time with a firm “definite no.” As a result, all the wags and rags are basically calling Ina a monster, but being the faithful fan that I am, I am here to defend the Barefoot Contessa’s honor.
Here are ten reasons why Ina is totally justified in her actions.
10. Ina only visits people with GOOD cancer.
9. Maybe Ina already did visit the kid, but it all happened in a flashback THAT WAS TOO DAMN FAST TO PROCESS.
8. Maybe if idiots stopped flooding Ina’s inbox with stupid questions like “How do I peel garlic?” she could spend less time on Ask Ina, and more time with sick children.
7. Listen, the old Thomas Moran windmill in East Hampton isn’t going to tour ITSELF.
6. Word has it that Frank got drunk at a luncheon with the girls from Calypso. He’s now passed out in Michael’s flower shop and needs a ride home. To the Ina-mobile!
5. You know, I’m sure Ina would love to visit Enzo, but people just paid $100,000 to have lunch with her, okay? She has to get busy in the kitchen making COLD CUCUMBER SOUP. And a dessert that you have to put together YOURSELF. FOR $100,000.
4. Let’s be honest: Ina hates it when people have fun without her, and hanging with the cancer kid is certainly NOT going to help her fun-quest.
3. It’s not that Ina doesn’t want to visit the sick kid. It’s just that this year is dedicated to testing scones with her assistants. The good news: everyone loves the strawberry-walnut variety more than the basic walnut ones. The bad news: there is no bad news! Consider the volume TURNED UP!
2. Are we even sure that Ina got the invitation in the first place? I wouldn’t put it past that bitch Barbara Lieberman to run interference just to sabotage Ina’s impeccable reputation. She was probably like “Go, Ina! Go sing around the piano with Stroh and Rob Marshall. I’ll look after your home. I’LL CHECK YOUR MAIL AND MAKE SURE YOU GET ANY MAKE-A-WISH REQUESTS. Yes, I’ll do it all. I won’t do anything like intercept your vital missives and toss them over the side of my tugboat in Sag Harbor. NOT AT ALL. GO SING WITH STROH!!!!”
1. Ina can do no wrong.
If you support Ina, I encourage you all to share this post on your Facebook walls.
Read more here.
BTW it’s come to my attention that Food Network Humor also coincidentally posted a top ten list of why Ina couldn’t visit the kid; so in the spirit of sharing Ina love, please visit their post too!! They were first.
(And in all seriousness, I hope Enzo gets better. Check out Make-A-Wish here)
What do you think? Does Ina owe a visit to anyone (aside from me)?