Ten Things You Should Stop Doing On Facebook

Every now and then, I like to get on my soap box and complain about Facebook etiquette. It’s been a little while; so I’m back with a new list of pet peeves. Some are retreads of previous complaints. Others are new. There’s certainly a chance I may alienate some of my own Facebook friends by merely posting this, but in my defense, I’ll say that this article is for their own good. Don’t be offended. Use it as a tool to grow. Constructive criticism is all it is!

After the jump, the top ten things you should stop doing on Facebook:

10. Farmville, Mafia Wars, or Any Other Game
Never mind that Famville and its ilk pose major security breaches for its users, the real problem with these games is that they flood everyone else’s Facebook feeds with useless information. Do I really need to know you just bought a bushel of corn from Shanice, the temp worker in your office? No, I don’t. Of course, over-use of Facebook apps is nothing new. We’ve been dealing with this sort of junk for years now. The annoyance lies in the users who simply refuse to adjust their settings and stop publishing their updates, or even worse, think we actually care enough to want to hear about Farmville (sorry, Farmville. I’m really hanging you out to dry). Now, I get it — there’s a lot of useless drivel on Facebook that no one wants to hear about, and I’m sure I certainly contribute my healthy share, but game updates really are the pits. Sure, I could hide app updates from my feed (and I do), but isn’t it kind of obnoxious to ask your hundreds of friends to adjust instead of you? Consider this high horse gotten upon!

9. Requesting Someone To Be Your Friend Without Making Your Photos Available
It’s a ballsy move to add someone as a friend you don’t know, but if you’re gonna do it, at least make your photos available. Why on earth would I ever add someone who only shares their profile picture — a profile picture which more often than not is something dumb like a wheat field or a ribbon or a hand drawn image of a sheep. Total waste of time.

8. Posting About Sadness
No one wants a downer. If you write “Another bad day” or “Work sucks” or “This is the worst day of my life,” I guarantee you that NO ONE actually cares. In fact, the only people that leave comments are doing so because they’re so nice that they feel obligated to take whatever bait you’re dangling. But even they, I assure you, don’t care. They’re just nice. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even though Facebook is a place for sharing, no one wants to hear from a downer. So what do you do if you really are sad? Well, maybe rephrase into a joke. That pretty much works for any situation. People will empathize more with you if they feel they won’t be drawn into a web of depression and pity. Similarly:

7. Baiting
Don’t bait. If you ran into a celebrity, don’t say “I just ran into a celebrity I never thought I’d run into.” Just say who the person is. Don’t write “Not the diagnosis I wanted.” Just say “I have herpes.” (Although, truthfully, no one wants to hear about medical maladies unless they are funny or phrased in a funny way. “I have herpes” = bad. “Lookout world! I gots me some herpes!” = funny and good, albeit still gross). The point is that being intentionally vague to attract comments is kind of lame, borderline pathetic, and always annoying.

6. Saying “Thanks For All The Birthday Wishes!” Prematurely
This really bothers me. I hate when I log in to Facebook for the first time at like noon, see that it’s someone’s birthday, and then before I can write “Happy Birthday!!” that person has already updated his or her status to “Thanks for all the birthday wishes!!” It’s too early! Wait until the end of the day (or the next day). It’s like getting up in the middle of a tribute dinner and thanking the room before half the speakers have reached the podium. Weird analogy, I know. Either way, leaving a birthday note after someone’s already thanked everyone for the birthday notes feels weird. Can’t describe it. Just trust me.

5. Liking Your Own Status
Seriously, there’s nothing douchier than liking your own status. Even if you have the bessssst status update with 100 comments attached, you just can’t like it. Sorry. Plus, it’s especially egregious when your status is this:

4. Writing Your Own Literary Quote
People, I implore you. Please don’t do this. There are many bright people in the world, but very few of us are actually articulate. That’s why no one should use Facebook as an opportunity to audition for Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations. You’ll never look smart. You’ll always look dumb. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. And if people leave comments like “Beautifully stated” or “I love having you in my life!!” just remember that those people are probably a) related to you, b) trying to sleep with you, c) perhaps mentally challenged, or d) the types that write “Books? What are books? LOL” under the “Books” tab (another thing people should stop doing). It’s not to say that you can’t write something profound on Facebook — my friend Leah is a master of thoughtful status updates, for example. It’s more that when people try to sound profound AND erudite, then we have a problem. Even worse is when they sign their own name at the end of their bombastic status. Yes, that happens. Why anyone would want to take credit for their piece of turd status update is beyond me. It’s like they think it’s so brilliant that they wouldn’t want other Facebook users to confuse it for a gem by Mark Twain or Sir Winston Churchill. God Forbid. I hate to break it to everyone, but none of us are literary geniuses, and if we were, we probably wouldn’t be using Facebook to dole out our gifts.

3. Poking
‘Nuff said.

2. Killing Banter
Imagine this: you’ve uploaded a mobile photo, and now you and your friends are thirty comments deep on some random tangent, cracking jokes and bantering away like there’s no tomorrow (as one often does). Then, out of nowhere comes a random interloper that no one really knows who posts a joke, a comment, or a question that totally DESTROYS the flow. It’s the worst. It’s like the cops came and busted up the party. I can’t tell you how many times good comment banter has been ground to a halt by some person suddenly asking “Hey Ben! Long time no speak! How are you??” Like… really? It’s called THE WALL. Or better yet, a private message! People need to be more cognizant of the banter on which they’re intruding. Don’t be a banter killer.

It’s a fact of life that many people my age now have children, which is totally fine and normal and wonderful (for them). But here’s the thing: not everyone cares about your kid as much as you do. Being a parent is a lovely, magnificent thing, but I can wholeheartedly say that We The People do not need to hear about every time your kid was late for the school bus or scored a goal in soccer or thought dirt was chocolate. There’s a girl I’m friends with (who shall go nameless), and her status updates are so insufferable, I had to hide them. They come from a good place, but man, I just can’t DEAL. [Update: she has since dropped me as a friend].

This is not to say you can’t post about your kids. Of course you can. Just be smart and funny about it. If you use the term “boo-boo,” then you are not being smart and funny. If you use the phrase “I need vodka,” you are moooore than welcome to continue. Don’t worry though — I’m not a total bastard. Milestones are acceptable too. But please remember that pouring milk for the first time is NOT a milestone. You may think it’s momentous, but I can promise you that all your friends are rolling their eyes behind your back.

So that’s it. Hopefully this was helpful, and if you got here from Facebook, be sure to pass the word along. People need to know!

What are your biggest Facebook pet peeves?

130 replies on “Ten Things You Should Stop Doing On Facebook”

    1. Hahaha, no. Your kid updates are FINE. They’re not obnoxious or excessive. I’m talking about a girl who once posted that her son’s new phrase was “Da plane da plane!” Like, really? Although, it’s sort of funny.

    1. It’s more like, I’m watching the same game…I don’t need you to also tell me about the play I just watched on your status. But then, why am I on facebook while watching a game? I don’t know.

  1. In addition to your #8, “Posting About Sadness,” I’d like to add my own #8.1, “Posting About Happiness.” I find this one to be even more insufferable. Here in Seattle, these status updates tend to be linked to some sort of physical activity like biking or marathon-training. Example: “On mile 9 of my run, I saw the most amazing rainbow. Life is good!” Or: “On the bike ride to work this morning, Mt. Rainier was out in all of its glory. SOOOO beautiful!” Worse yet, these updates often involve a photo. GAH.

    1. Yesss! The overly happy status updates are really awful. Especially when they’re over the most mundane things and/or use 55 exclamation points. “Going to dinner with my boyfriend!!!!!! He’s the best!!!!!!!!!!”

      One of my “friends” is excited about EVERYTHING in life. Everything is amazing and wonderful. It screams low standards to me. LOL

  2. OMG!! Number 4 is my favorite! I see so many stupid people thinking their thoughts are so profound when they’re really just spouting off nonsense or a cliche. When they sign their name it’s just the icing on the cake.

  3. Also is the unecessary debating. If someone clearly is throwing out a battle cry, that’s one thing. But if person says “Going to see the Gotham Gay Choir” this is not the time for you to comment with all the reasons why you are against gay marriage. Or “Volunteering to work in the community charter school” not really the place to voice all your anti charter school opinions.

    Also, don’t post the daily good morning and good night. We do not need to know your sleep habits.

    And last but not least, I have trouble believing that you are SOOOOOOO DRUUUUUNK when your status update about it is perfectly typed.

    1. I agree with the so drunk error free posts. Beyond that, I just wonder why grown adults need to let the world know they’re drunk. We’re not in middle school anymore.

  4. The banter-killer is THE WORST, which is why I have to violate rule #9 for repeat offenders. A corollary to that rule is that when I post a picture and tag friends and those friends and I are all discussing the picture, the Jesus freak I haven’t seen since high school ought not be commenting. Unless it’s to tell me I look pretty.

    The baiters are a close second. They’re people who are screaming for attention and begging for others to ask what happened. I feel duty-bound to insult the person to teach him a lesson.

    I hate the applications that tell me every day that Christie ran 15 miles in 22 minutes. Fuck Christie. If she screwed 15 dudes in 22 minutes, then I’d be interested.

    1. I was just about to complain about a friend who updates her runs every day. I DON’T CARE. And then she posts pictures of her wearing her little running spandex, like, “Can you BELIEVE I’m 40?!”

      She’s also a fan of the kiddie updates. Just insufferable.

  5. I have a few, but following after Jennifer’s comment, I feel a big fat FAIL coming on. Oh well, here goes…. Tired, tired, tired of hearing about your Lord Jesus Christ. I too love the Lord, but good lawd I don’t need to hear about it on a daily basis.
    I recently unfriended someone because she is on of those freaking px90 pushers and constantly invited me to her stupid “buy p90x” events, vomit! I tried to hide her and her posts of extreme insanity workouts and pictures, but the invitations kept coming! I got hives from “not attending” all that shit.

    1. I agree. I also appreciate that some religions encourage you to go out and convert others. I am always pleasant to this one Jehovah’s Witness who comes regularly to my door even though I already go to my own church pretty regularly. But, although you may be in a place where the Lord (or whoever you worship to) speaks freely through you, please note that I like my Lord to be a quiet presence in my life.

      I also realize that I do play a game where if you post you’ve accomplished a certain task or completed a map, your teammates can click on that post and get points. Since they post theirs, I post mine so we all get extra points. The hide buttons are there for a reason.

  6. I hate the “some people” posts. “I wish some people would grow up.” “Some people should take care of their kids, even hungover.” “Some people talk crap but can’t take it when they’re called out.” You know, passive aggressive jabbing at someone you’re friends with (yes, they’re always friends with these people). I would respect them more if they’d tag the damn person in the status.

    I laughed at whoever said adults shouldn’t brag about drinking. We’re not in middle school (sorry on my phone). Hhahaha! I miss middle school keg parties.

    And fuck Christie!

  7. K my pet peeve is when people post these “Dear So-and-So” letters, like “Dear person who tailgated me all the way to work, Thank you for ruining my day, Love, Jane” and “Dear telemarketer who called me at 6am this morning, no I don’t want to buy a set of carving knives. Love, Val” or “Dear Yankees, if you could please win Game #4 I’d be eternally grateful, Love, Ali” These drive me nuts, they are so obnoxious.

  8. Also, one day I logged on and 15 of my most recent status updates were from a “friend” (i.e. someone I knew in college and was never actually friends with) giving updates throughout the LABOR AND ACTUAL DELIVERY of her baby. “The doctors say I’m X inches dilated, only a few more hours” and “here goes the epidural”….who on planet Earth thinks its acceptable to update the world of the status of birthing??? so gross.

    1. Agreed, the only people who really care are probably already in the hospital with you. That’s a perfect example of “Too Much Information” status updates.

  9. A lot of mine like to use song quotes in their statuses. I can now say that Nickelback works on many, many levels. It’s sort of like number 4, but someone actually made money off of them.

  10. My gripe is the relationship overshare. The girl from high school who has, twice to date, posted a status update about needing advice on a divorce attorney. Or the guy who changed his relationship status from “married” to “it’s complicated” (along with a status update about how he’s tried so hard but she’s just not as committed as he), then back to “married” a week later. Or my cousin’s daughter writing about her breakup due to her boyfriend only wanting her for sex.

    Umm… filter yourself, or I’ll filter you, dammit!

  11. Well first of all, I try very hard to limit my baby posts — I just posted the first pix in months — so I’m glad I’m clear on that one. I think.

    But here’s my biggest pet peeve — married couples telling each other how much they love each other (or how hot/amazing/smart/wonderful) their significant other is over Facebook. If you were that secure in your relationship, you wouldn’t have to broadcast every loving feeling for the world to see! I absolutely refused to post “I married the most wonderful man in the world 8 years ago today” — because I already told him that IN PERSON. Actually, I said, “You better send me fucking flowers” but you get my point.

    1. Totally right Julie S.W- I got yelled at for not wishing my fiancee a happy birthday on facebook- my response was “We live together” I’m not sure why if I live with the person and tell them in person why I would need to repeat loving sentiments so that all our friends can hear them. And I also hate people who add way too many “friends” on facebook. Not that you can’t have a bunch of friends but I don’t get friending people just for the numbers.

  12. Glad someone got the Godstuff in here, I have tons of those.

    Another I am inundated with is people who post what they are eating or made for dinner. Big who cares.

    Also a woman, actually, she does the top 2 as well (husband’s relative) who constantly complains about her crappy husband. She is perpetually hidden because she is such a bummer. Just divorce the jerk already.

    Finally, people who make EVERYTHING into a political argument.

  13. You should be careful when you complain about #3, that’s like asking for it. You’ll get poked more than Debbie in Dallas.

    BTDubs, I totally just tried to poke you just to bother you, but I was denied! You’re a crafty one, B-Side.

  14. Can’t believe none of you have complained about the immensely annoying Sunday football game status updates!!!!! IMHO those are the absolute worst!!! Its gotten to the point where I refuse to log into fb on Sundays because I cannot deal with being inundated about how wonderful team x is or why team y should fire their coach, etc. Forget about Christie, fuck the NFL — and its followers (no offense)!

    1. you would NOT want to be my friend then. I don’t think that I’m “annoying”, but I do post about the Steelers game every week. No offense taken however. To each his/her own.

  15. I am NOT a fan of the “so-and-so likes ‘STUPID RANDOM COMMENT SOMEONE MADE TO TRY TO BE CLEVER!’ on ‘website where people post these things!’ ” updates. Especially [Whoochile, you are not alone] the “Jesus is Lord! If you know this, push LIKE!” So, what? I’m a bad Christian if I don’t push the stupid button, and plaster that all over my friends’ statuses, including the ones who aren’t Christian? Gah.

    The Farmville etc. applications I block immediately. People who keep finding new silly games to play, so I have to KEEP blocking them? Very annoying.

  16. I would like to add: don’t ‘like’ so many freakin’ things! A. I’m sick of reading constant updates about “so-and-so likes Radiohead and 48 other pages”. B. If you ‘like’ 400 or so pages, I really have to wonder about your personal standards. Did you even know who/what Aleister Crowley is? Not that I have a problem with him, necessarily, but I think a lot of people are adding stuff they ‘like’ without really making informed decisions.

  17. Corollary to #9: if you’re sending a friend request and there’s any chance the person won’t immediately know who you are (this includes married women who don’t display their maiden names), then by all that is holy, write a friggin’ note. If I don’t know who you are, I’ll ignore the request. But if you remind me that we were in Mrs. Taylor’s 3rd grade class, I’ll probably accept it.

  18. So agree with every one of your top 10. Recently I have had friend requests from friend’s small children. They actually have FB accounts and they barely can even read or write let alone why the hell does addicted to FB mom have the nerve to have them “friend” adults? It’s hard enough to see mom’s daily non-stop ridiculously inane updates.

    Ok I admit I’m kinda sorta guilty of bragging about my kid BUT she’s a gymnast and has 8 competitions during the year so that’s only 8 times (a year!) I do that – really because all my family is out of state and they don’t get to see her so that can’t possibly be abuse or violation of your #1.

    I think I have a relative related to Christie since I have to see “It’s gym time so it’s gonna be an awesome day” every single morning OR the i-don’t-have-a life person who needs everyone to know “the banana bread I’m baking smells soooooo good OMG” WTF cares?!?!?!?!?

      1. I’ve considered leaving FB for every reason listed here, but I enjoy lurking too much when I’m bored. It’s entertaining to look at other people’s pictures & make fun of them, it gives me feelings of superiority. 🙂

  19. Facebook should add a “who cares” button under people’s posts. I would use that constantly. For example, a friend posted, “So busy today and of course it’s raining! UGH!” to which I say, “Who cares?” Would also be good for babies, bad news from the doctor (for those people you don’t like) and the success of anybody but yourself.

    1. This is hilarious. I totally agree. I would litter my friend’s status updates with WHO CARES

    2. I would so love to have this type of button. Or perhaps a “Who the fuck cares?” or “WTFC”. I have a feeling I would be clicking it non-stop.

  20. Other ones that I hate:

    – I have a “friend” (actually former co-worker who I don’t speak to anymore) who continuously posts what he is eating. “Just had a shwarma.” “I think I will have Ethiopian food tonight”. “Can’t decide whether to have soup or salad”. “I just had a pudding. Yummy.”

    – People who post their stupid political opinions. I am sick of hearing how Obama is the devil and a communist. Please people, nobody cares about your views on the President that you are quoting from Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin. You have a right to your opinion but I don’t see the point of expressing your opinion knowing that at least half of your 300 friends will be seething.

    – Please don’t post statements and end it with “if you agree then post it on your status”. For example, long rants about how people are no longer polite or downers about losing a friend/relative from cancer. I am sorry that you feel this way (not really in the first case) but don’t end it with “If you lost someone special then repost this on your status” or “I dare you to re-post this on your status”. Don’t tell me what to post on my status.

    Sorry for the lengthy rant but at least I feel better now.

    1. First time poster, long, long time follower of B-Side.

      SoTired, your post is right on… especially the political comment part. I was wondering why no one else had commented on this annoying part of FB. I have deleted many “friends” this year due to their hateful, bigoted and racist comments or postings of vile, disgusting videos.

      B-Side, I am on of those guilty of posting my game updates, but only so others can collect on the bonuses or lend a helping hand as needed. I am sorry it annoys so many other people. I just hide the stuff I don’t want to be seeing or reading about daily.

      1. VancouverDeb,
        Just a tip, but I’ve been informed by my friends that they don’t know about my FV obsession. I made a list of my friends that are on FV and just post my bonuses and stuff to that list…soo…Maybe that could work for you, if you are so inclined.

        Also, I affirm your defriending of people who have hateful and bigoted…and we’ll face it, just plain ridiculous and idiotic opinions and/or comments. I have deleted 3 people in the last year.

  21. Awesome post. However, I cannot believe no one has mentioned the FourSquare application. I have a friend who posts every time she goes ANYWHERE. “Sarah just checked in at Starbucks” (to which she comments herself, “Yummm, Pumpkin Spice Latte!”). “Sarah just checked in at work.” (comment: “Ugh, is it 5 yet?”) “Sarah just checked in at the park.”, etc etc etc. One day, I swear to baby Jesus, she checked in at 5 different restaurants, three parks, her house and her in-laws house, and 4 stores at the mall. WHO THE F CARES?! She is also guilty of the above-mentioned Dear So-And-So updates. So between her Starbucks and work check-ins, I get to read about “Dear UPS delivery truck driver, please learn to drive. You are making me late to work and I had to slam on the brakes and almost spilled my Pumpkin Spice Latte all over my shirt! Thanks, Sarah”

    Also, let me say an amen to the person who commented about those awful chain letter-style status updates. “It’s Sons Week on Facebook! Being a mommy is the greatest gift on Earth. I have dried his tears, cuddled him to sleep, and watched him as he grows into a man. Make this your status update if you love your son.” I love my son, but there is no way in Hell I’d ever put this crap out there for the world to read and associate with me.

  22. I am opposed to uncreative weather updates, “tgifs!”,”mondays suck” and political posturing.

  23. I agree with many of your complaints…however, it IS a social networking site. Let’s try not to focus on the negative and skip that stuff. Also, y’know, you CAN ignore the games without ignoring the person. Just check the little X to the right of their name on their post and it will give you the option. Bottom line – focus on what you LIKE about Facebook. No more global whining!! :o)

  24. What about the ‘click here to see who viewed your profile’ posts and the people dumb enough to think its real. Really is that shit even possible?

  25. or the ones who post the outcome of a reality show (i.e. survivor, amazing race, project runway)…ever hear of a dvr? some of us actually use it!

  26. After reading all these non appropriate facebook status updates I am curious as to what do you all consider acceptable?
    I just keep my updates to a minimum as to avoid all of the above pet peeves.

  27. Crap! I’m a facebook skimmer – I don’t really read what people post as their status, I just glance over them to see if there is anything I need to know — until this morning. So far I’ve seen rules #1, 2, 3, 4, 7 & 10 broken and it’s only 11:00 am.

    I need new friends…..

  28. I love this, couldn’t agree more.
    I would also like to add a couple…

    1. People that you didn’t know very well in high school/grammar school requesting your friendship since they have to be “friends” with everyone they have ever come into contact with simply because they are A. nosey B. want to see if you got fat/bald C. to see if their lives turned out better than yours. D. Think the more friends that they have on facebook makes up for the fact that they don’t have any in real life. (and believe me, I somewhat get it, when I find an ex-boyfriend who’s profile isn’t private, I feel like I have found gold!) AND THEN requesting to be your friend multiple times after you have said no. There was one girl that I finally gave in to and she posted so many “my baby loves cheese!” updates that I finally de-friended her… 2 days later she sent me a request again! Get the hint and you’re creepy!

    2. People that put up photo albums with titles like “It doesn’t suck to be us!” and it’s usually a group of overly made up girls posing and trying way too hard and you know there are some nights where they get ready and go out, just to make it a photo shoot so everyone can see how awesome they are on facebook. And you know what, it does suck to be you – put the f’ng camera down and have a drink!

    3. This new “so and so has checked in to Target” – really? you are just asking for a stalker, or maybe that is what they want?

  29. Don’t forget about that one friend who is constantly liking EVERYTHING you do. Every post you make, every photo your tagged in, every new friend you add. Seriously stop living through my facebook life and get your own! Does anyone else have this “friend’? Or am I just dealing with a crazy obsessive person?

    1. My mom does this, she only has 13 friends and I think she feels that they will be upset if no one “likes” their status updates and pictures, so she feels an obligation to show them all attention. I don’t approve, but it’s my mom, so I have to let this one slide.

  30. LOL @ everyone except Cathy. It really warms my heart that so many of my fellow human beings get so annoyed by so many stupid things people do. I started to respond so many times to individual comments that I am now resorting to posting an across the board message simply voicing my support.

    Anyone who questions our healthy levels of cynicism should post a facebook update about a favorite religious experience to combat our hate.

    Hit “like” if you wish you could give the world a hug!

    (whoa girl with the biggest poof I’ve ever seen just walked by the window.)

  31. My favorite is when people get Facebook viruses from clicking on a stupid link. So then you see in your News Feed that your friend posted, “CLICK HERE to see what REALLY goes into McDonald’s hamburgers!!!!!” and you can just laugh at them, knowing that they clicked on that stupid link when they first saw it.

    On a related note: PEOPLE I HAVEN’T SPOKEN TO SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, PLEASE STOP “ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT ME.” That shit gets deleted off my wall in seconds.

    1. So much like.

      Love when the “click here, etc. etc. etc.” follows with an update of “Don’t click the button about McDs – it’s a virus”. No shit Sherlock. Everyone with one working brain cell already knows this. No I won’t repost the message as my status as I wasn’t the one stupid enough to click the link and I’m not really interested in saving another dumbass like yourself.

  32. I guess I’m guilty of the early “Thanks for the B-day Wishes” posting…but I didn’t realize that was annoying. Oddly enough, what I do find annoying is the banter on photos/comments. If I post on someone’s photo then I’m notified of everyone else who posts on that photo. Do you know how FREAKIN’ annoying it is to be updated constantly because two stupid people are commenting back and forth on someone’s photo??? If you are going to communicate like that do it on each other’s walls or better yet on Facebook Chat or AIM or THE PHONE. God. I don’t want to see your stupid banter. Stop bantering. I hate it.

    1. my issue with the early biday THANK YOU’s is that if someone says that before i’ve had a chance to wish them bday tidings…then i think that THEY THINK i only said it because of their status update.

      …mostly because thats what i do.

  33. I recently had a friend try to set me up over FB. She had the guy friend me & I stupidly accepted. All he ever said to me was banal shit like “Good Morning!” And he’s a 40-something guy who did the whole postive affirmation posts with a lot of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Funny thing is it took me like 2 weeks figure out that he defriended me. Friends don’t set up friends on FB.

  34. I hate the daily weather updates, how far you’ve run, and dvr schedules. I have a friend who moved to a different state and keeps track of the weather here and in her new place. Such as ” It’s going to be 90 and sunny here today, so glad I’m not back home where it’s 80 and going to storm!!!!!!!!” Or the days where it’s the opposite, “Beautiful weather back home, 75 and sunny, it’s going to be 100 here, ugh!!!!” This same friend also posts her daily dvr schedule, of every show she plans on recording, watching etc. Same friend also posts her daily runs with the “Hubs”. “Just got back from running 2 miles with the hubs, now time to watch Glee, project runway, modern family, American Idol, 50 other shows that there’s no way there’s time to watch unless she’s a time traveler. Good thing it was 70* out today!!!!”. Oh and she really does do the multiple exclamation marks on everything.

    1. It warms my heart to see all these complaints about weather status updates. I thought I was the only one who completely detested this inane form of small talk, both on and off facebook. There’s some great Oscar Wilde quote (I think it’s him) about how discussing the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

  35. I have to say I LOVE the “relationship overshare”– not that I’d EVER do it myself but I am nosy and love hearing every dirty detail of other people’s scandals haha. A girl I did gymnastics with as a kid kept posting (real time!) about a huge fight with her husband and then how she slept with a bartender and he kicked her out the next morning. He was of course responding terrible things back to her. I logged on like 10x to get the latest scoop, I couldn’t believe my eyes!! (Oh and they got back together a few months later!)

    1. Ha! I had the same thing-a couple I went to HS with were married when I became FB friends with them, & a short time later a wonderful soap opera played out on their walls. I particularily liked the part where she “yelled” at him for running to another state to be with his crack whore, & then in the comments was an obviously young relative (niece or something) who was asking what was happening with sad faces. People are assholes.

  36. My pet peeve. Pictures of the actual day of an engagement. The guy kneeling down and presenting his girl the ring. It is not nessecary to post everything that goes on in your life. Especially a decision made between two people as important as that one. We care that you got engaged but keep the photos for you and your “loved” one. If you are posting these photos then in truth you are just comparing your lives to everyone elses. “Look at how he proposed” “Look at my ring”. FUCK OFF! Get a fucking clue! Marriage is not like getting a new fucking car dipshit!

  37. changing your profile pic to a color to show that you are for or against whatever that color means. I always feel this self-imposed pressure to “fit in” and I should do it too, but then my rebellious side is all “don’t be a sheep” and now I am conflicted just because someone has a colored pic and I feel stupid.
    (I have issues)


  38. I wish there was a way to subtly send a link of this post to facebook offenders of these things, like “anonymous thought you should read this”….

  39. I recommend everyone go see Catfish – it really speaks to this Facebook generation that we got going on. Oh, and I hate #’s 1-10. Thank you B-Side!

  40. I pretty much hate the usage of exclamation points and incorrectly used ellipses.

    I also hate what I call the Tangential Tag – when you get tagged in some photo which you don’t appear in, but you had something to do with somehow at sometime in someway. All it does is confuse the fuck out of all my friends.

  41. My pet peeves:
    1. People who write their posts as if they are texting. “Dats not kewl.” I die a little every time to think that people in their 30s cannot properly write a complete sentence.
    2. The Jesus Freaks. I cannot count how many of past school mates have embraced the Lord as their savior. Whenever I see someone posting “if God has made a difference in my life, is my savior, etc.,” repost to your page, I want to post this: God doesn’t have a Facebook page.
    3. People whose profile pictures are always of their children. I was friends with you, not your child. I want to see what you look like now; not how many kids you popped out. I will also swiftly reject your child’s request to be my friend.
    5. People who discuss their inability to see their kids because of something the judge did. If you have 6 kids and you don’t have custody of any of them and you are the mother, I shudder and think their might be a legitimate reason the judge doesn’t want you to visit. Run to father(s) kids!
    6. Runner up to #5 are those who respond, “I now wut u goin thru gurl.” Shudder.
    7. The ALL CAPPERS. Turn your cap lock off.

    Of course, this is all like a car crash. I don’t want to see it but I can’t stop looking.

  42. Two words- Status Shuffle.

    And amen to everything else. I have a friend that I think has done every single thing listed. This is an actual caption underneath a picture that he posted of himself:
    L00k @ dis sXy d00d….

    Really? You’re 27. That’s not cute.

      1. Some stupid app on there that generates “witty” and “funny” status updates. What’s even more annoying is when people then comment about how clever that person is, despite it clearly saying “status shuffle”, thus conveying that it’s not an original thought.

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