It’s ridiculous how fun The City is. In its second season, the producers have found the right mix and balance of characters, focusing instead on the cutthroat careerist side of Manhattan, not the dingy bohemian crap that Jay and his posse represented last year (more on that in a bit, regrettably). Olivia and Erin continue to butt heads at Elle, and while their story line this episode wasn’t as compelling as previous ones (basically, it involved both girls going to a party, Olivia mingling effectively, and Erin leaving early), it still had some choice moments — specifically when Erin snapped at Olivia and told her to drop the attitude. I actually felt slightly bad for Olivia, who looked like a humble puppy that had just been reprimanded for pooping in the living room. She sort of hunched over and nodded before slinking off to some corner of the office to undoubtedly call cousin Nevin and complain.
Speaking of Nevin, his absence this season has been totally unforgivable. His banter with Olivia last season was tremendous, and given the show’s new focus on the elite, you’d think their badinage would be front and center. Alas, it seems as though Jay will be making a comeback first, which is the biggest crime of all. The previews for next week’s episode show him and Whitney having what will surely be an annoying and boring meal together. Memo to MTV: no one cares about Jay. He dirty and smelly and totally uninteresting. He belongs on the douche parade that is The Hills, not this fine show.

Besides, Whitney already has a new love interest (which, of course, is probably why Jay has returned). At the top of the show, sidekick Samantha invited Whit-Whit to a lifeguard-themed party at Bergdorf Goodman where two things happened: first, I discovered that Samantha (who I think is great) never actually closes her lips when she speaks. It’s just one big toothy grin that she somehow manipulates to get words out. She could be a great ventriloquist. The second thing to happen was that Samantha and Whitney met Harry Fackelmayer, a preppy WASP from Greenwich, CT who not only serves as a lifeguard during the summer, but whose brother, Freddy, happens to be a good friend of Sam’s. Let the intrigue begin.
Eventually, Samantha, Whitney, Harry, and big bro Freddy were all cavorting at a rooftop BBQ held by Allie and Adam (Jay’s roommate from last season — don’t ask). There was plenty of chit-chat, and soon Freddy was asking Whitney out to dinner. But there was a problem: Whitney suspected that maybe Sam had a thing for Freddy. After all, they were old chums from the Hamptons (but clearly not good chums — otherwise you’d think Samantha would have known about lil’ brother Harry).
Anyway, when Whitney expressed concern about stepping on Samantha’s turf, Roxy more than enthusiastically insisted that Whit should just go for it. But did Roxy really have Whitney’s best interest at hand? Probably not. You see, Roxy was still licking her ego wounds at having not been invited to the lifeguard event by Samantha in the first place. According to Rox, Samantha never includes her in anything (probably for good reason). What better way to wreak revenge than by having Samantha’s best friend steal her man. I’m telling you, The City is damn close to Shakespeare sometimes.
And so Whitney went on her date with the über-tanned, über-WASPy Freddy, and he invited her up to Nantucket for further initiation into WASP culture (which I love, btw). Whitney seemed gaga over this — then again, what isn’t she gaga about? — and I too got excited for further uppercrust, Gossip Girl-ization of this show. Of course, it was all ruined by images of Jay in the previews, but hopefully that will be a minor blip in this otherwise stellar season.
To the photos!

“Oh mah gah, Whih-neh, you have to come to this party. But don’t bring Roxy, THAT BITCH. I mean, she’s great, but she’s a whore.”

“I really wanna bring Olivia to this party mainly because, Erin, when you get mad, you look like a cat that’s been squirted with water, and that is SO funny.”

“So… am I the only one who dressed up for National Peeps Day?”

“I just don’t understand why Sam won’t invite me to things. It can’t just be because I’m a TOTAL BITCH, can it?”

“Oh mah Gah, Whih-neh, it’s my goal to hold as little of this glass as possible.”

“WHY HELLO. I’m Harry Fackelmayer, but you can just call me ‘The Ugly One.'”

“Soooo…. how would you like me to sabotage you today?”

Kelly: “I just got back from a tour of St. Vincent’s morgue. Amazing. I want to move there. It was awkward though when someone thought I was a cadaver. Three people passed out. They said something about the walking dead. I don’t know.”

“Hello, I’m Olivia Palermo. But then again, you probably knew that, didn’t you?”

Sam: “Oh mah gah, Whih-ney, this is Harreh’s brother Freh-heey.”
Freddy: “Nice to meet you. I hear you like pussy men who don’t shower and front dumb bands.”
Whitney: “Kind of!”
Freddy: “Well, that’s not me.”
Sam: “Oh mah gah, FREH-HEEY!”

“Oh look. I’m doing the same pose I did yesterday. It’s really all I can do. My neck is like a tree trunk. Just like Samantha’s legs, THAT BITCH.”

“Why can’t I see what’s on my computer screen? Is it broken? Oh wait, it’s behind me.”

“Olivia, believe it or not, I can help you more than harm you. But I’d prefer to harm you.”

“I would love to do things like go to Nantucket and the Hamptons and the Olive Garden!”

“You may not know this, but my skin is 56% natural leather.”

What did you think about the episode? Thoughts on Freddy Facks? Which brother do you like better? And how excited are you that Samantha might have a storyline?

7 replies on “THE CITY PHOTOCAP: There Once Was A Man From Nantucket…”

  1. Freddy looks like a game show host. I can almost see the *ping* when he smiles. He looks about 40. I am not sure why Whitney chose him over the non-leathery Harry. I love how Freddy basically rolled up, was like “Which one of you bitches has the show? Blondie? Cool, can I take you out?”
    This show is way better than the Hills.

  2. “Sam: “Oh mah gah, FREH-HEEY!”
    HAHAHAAH LOL! I love your impersonation of Sam’s tight-lipped speech patterns.

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