Okay, The Rachel Zoe Project is really cracking me up. Everyone on the show speaks in such dire ways about seemingly every small detail in their life, it’s borderline comedy. Part of me wants to clamp earmuffs on so I don’t have to hear the ridiculous commentary on screen… and yet another part of me is oddly fascinated by these people and what they perceive as insurmountable DISASTERS awaiting them in the form of floppy undergarments and slightly irritating tulle. I know that every job has its own unique pressures and dilemmas, but sometimes the frenzy Rachel and Brad and to an extent Taylor find themselves in seems a bit overblown. I guess that’s why they have a TV show.
Anyway, pics from tonight’s episode after the jump.
Rachel: “She looks like she’s floating in a sea of taffeta. It’s like she’s a boat, and Somali pirates are gonna come up to her and say ‘Hey, this is our sea, and it’s a sea of TAFFETA!'”
“Rachel, I spilled a box of bobby pins.”
“This isn’t happening.”
“It is.”
“This is a disaster.”
“I know.”
“Disaster.”
“Disaster.”
“DIS-ASS-TER.”
“Total disaster.”
“Can you maybe pick up the bobby pins?”
“I mean, I can try.”
“This is a disaster.”
“Okay, I picked up the bobby pins. Everything is okay.”
“That was almost a disaster. No, it was a BRADSASTER.”
“I think I would rather shoot myself in the head and slit my wrists than listen to you two any longer.”
“Shut up, Taylor. We almost had a disaster.”
“A BRADsaster.”
Rachel: “I really have to talk to Brad about his Braditude. I think he’s been eating too much Honey Bunches of Braditude for breakfast.”
Brad: “Oh no. This sleeve is slightly less soft than that sleeve.”
Rachel: “This is NOT happening.”
Brad: “I’m just concerned that she’ll be driving in her car and realize that one shoulder feels a little more comfortable than the other, and while she tries to figure out what’s going on, she’ll CAREEN RIGHT OFF THE ROAD AND DIE!!!”
Rachel: “This is a disaster. DISASTER.”
Rachel: “Gentle, Liv. My bones crack easily. Oh, there goes a rib.”
“GASP! I forgot to Tivo Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes To Jail.”
Rachel: “Annie looked uh-mazing. Brad really pulled it off, even though he was the Oscar winner for Outstanding Achievement in the Art of Braditude.”
BAH. nan-as.
BRAD. nan-as.
i love how taylor is too cool for the celebrity fashion world…and yet, that’s the only reason her job exists. taylor, if you hate it so much, GO TEACH FOURTH GRADE. otherwise, get back to putting nipple covers on demi moore and shut up.
Hi B-Side! Thanks for posting during your illness. I am sure it’s the sense of obligation that you feel for us. 🙂
I am nor going to pull a Braditude about this, but Brad-saster was a stretch (kinda). I am not on the Bradwagon on that one!
By the way – did you see that story on Jezebel regarding the Rachael Zoe and Bethenny (RWNYC)? Here is a link:
http://jezebel.com/5354658/the-twits-bethenny-frankel-vs-rachel-zoe
beyond.
hb
Wow.
Rachel really needs to get her shit together. It seems like everything she does is last minute.
Her speech patterns remind me of a reading a telegram.
She’s so drastic.
The way Rachel Zoe talks reminds me of Sandi from that show Daria (on MTV back in the day), who by coincidence, was president of the Fashion club.
Jason – I think the stretch is the point…
But yes, I did see that burgeoning feud.
I can’t figure it out. Other than Rachel Zoe is a succubus or any other soul sucking demon that will probably be featured on True Blood. Now turning succubus into succu-BRAD is a stretch, but the Brad-saster will keep me laughing through the dark nights of my soul. What is the matter with those people on the show?
Oh yeah and you must be getting pointers from some PR company because she is constantly mentioning the economy and the recession. She caught shit for that last year with her indiscriminant spending and how can a show about celebrities getting loaned tens of thousands of dollars of dresses and jewels apply to anyone. When people can’t even afford to heat their homes. But she still can’t help herself from mentioning all the shit she shops for and all the money her and her clients spend/get from fashion designers. She mentioned that the old Rachel would have walked out of the store with ten things, but due to the recession she is only walked out with three. I think she needs more time trying to rehearse those lines.
I want to know who did her face – they must have numbed her up and rolled her in botox needles like a margarita glass is rolled in salt. Her forehead looked like the grand canyon a few years ago and now its….totally…..sMoooooooooooth. ba. nanas. I need that shit, I’m only 35 and look like i’m permanently surprised/concerned.
I used to hate her but i’m loving this season. i would totally shop w her. and go out to eat. for 3 pieces of asparagus and 1/2 a glass of champagne. I DIIIIIIEEEE