“I want B-Side to write the recaps the way he used to!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The Hills and The City premiere tomorrow on MTV, and in case the (sort of nonexistent) PR machine hadn’t informed you already, we here at B-Side Blog have the luxury of having our very own psycho reader to remind us of all the details. Yes, it’s the one and only Dumb Bitch — née Michelle Coleman — back to harass us again about recapping the shows. Even though she swore she’d never write another email ever again, we knew she couldn’t hold to that promise because, well, she’s a dumb bitch. Here’s the latest!

Listen up!!! You better be gearing up for The Hills and The City tomorrow night!!! The new night is Tuesdays at 10 & 10:30pm!!! I want full recaps of the shows this time around!!! Please don’t pull that shit you did last time of putting up half ass recaps!!! You know how I like it!!! I want the recaps from back in the day!!! You’ve had all summer to prepare for battle so I want some funny shit!!! You better write the best recaps of all time!!! Your fans are waiting!!! You can’t disappoint me this time!!! I LOVE THE HILLS & THE CITY!!! They’re my fav and Spencer looks SO HOT this season!!! Let me repeat SO FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I now must pose the question: do we think this girl is just Spencer or Heidi fucking with me? Is it a shrewd MTV employee getting free publicity for the show? Or should I be concerned for my safety? If I wind up with my neck slit… well, I suppose that won’t answer anything — it really could be all of the above. But at least we’ll have the memories of these emails. Nevertheless, my full response to Dumb Bitch is after the jump.

“OH REALLY, Dumb Bitch?”

That is all.

15 replies on “How Can You Tell 'The Hills' Premieres Tomorrow? Dumb Bitch Sends An Email!”

  1. Yes, its got to be someone messing with you. There can not possibly be a real person who would do this, but I have been known to be a little naive.

  2. Bitch is nuts. I just hope you don’t decide to do no recap at all, just to get back at her – that would be tragic. But then again, her emails might make up for it…….

  3. Damn. I read the title and thought you were talking about me for the FB message I sent you yesterday. Glad to know *I’m* not a dumb bitch or at least the one you’re referring to…

  4. I do think that it is someone messing with you. Who consistently uses triple exclamation points throughout their email?
    Personally, I`ve always suspected IndianJones was behind all these emails…he is probably sitting in SanFran giggling at your frustration with this Dumb Bitch.

  5. In my humble opinion there are only three options. Either this bimbo is:
    1. Just that – a dumb bimbo who might want to venture outside of her glorious bimbo world or, i don’t know, think about someone less fortunate than herself to get some perspective. also, shock therapy seems appropriate, no?
    2. 14 years old, surrounded by other 14 year olds who are shrieking, giggling and egging her on
    3. Someone you know who finds this whole thing HEElarious
    I’m voting for #1, though i agree, you’d probably want to hire some full time protection if that’s the case.

  6. No one can possibly think Spencer is “SO FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!!!” Therefore, it is someone messing with you.

  7. Seriously, who really likes this show that much? If she is for real, she needs an intervention and fast. But I predict this is someone messing with you.

  8. “Spencer is so f**ing hot” is the giveaway that someone must be messing with you. I’m kind of disappointed. Although I would be concerned for your safety, I was getting a good laugh out of the prospect of Dumb Bitch being a real person (a real crazy person).

  9. It’s probably some 45-year-old, bored, work-at-home mom who trolls blogs and message boards, acting like a total idiot, while she waits for her work to download or upload. She really is intelligent and mature in “real life” but gets an entertaining release anonymously messing with people in a way she could never do in RL.
    Not that I would know anything about that. Just guessin’

  10. It’s someone messing with you.
    The only way Spencer look so hot, is if he was set on fire.

  11. My guess is that it’s some teenage girl (you’re right with #2, Denim Vest, probably a 14-year-old!) who was serious with her original email, but now realizes that she’s getting some form of attention, so it’s become some cute little game to her. Keep writing crazy emails, get them posted online. The “Spencer is hot” declaration is pretty on par with that theory, I think.

  12. I just watched both The Hills and The City this afternoon, and I have to admit, I too think you BETTER HURRY UP AND POST THOSE RECRAPS!!! So much material!!! You better get started RIGHT AWAY!!!
    I don’t agree with the Spencer comment though, that is just GROSS!!!

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