Today I flew from Los Angeles to New York, and I had the supreme displeasure of being seated directly behind the world’s worst toddler. I knew this kid was bad news way back at Burbank airport when he came running up to me and HID behind my luggage. I don’t like when unruly children with snot dripping from their nose enter my personal area, let alone when they touch my baggage. This was highly upsetting to me. After about twenty seconds, this devil child’s dad (who had body odor, I’d like to add) took him by the hand and led him away WITHOUT EVEN APOLOGIZING TO ME. Imagine my dismay when I discovered I’d be sitting directly behind these awful, awful people on the airplane.
The good news was that the first forty-five minutes of the flight were sublimely quiet and peaceful as Baby was asleep. But then he woke up, and it was hell from that point on. This kid cried and cried and cried and cried. And when he wasn’t crying, he was yelling. And when he wasn’t yelling, he was crying again. The two passengers next to me (both gentlemen of a certain age) made silly faces and googly eyes every time the toddler stuck his dirty face above the seat. I, however, leveled the angriest glare I could summon, hoping that it would somehow scare the boy into silence. It worked once — allowing me ten seconds of relief before the caterwauling started up again. Mostly, however, my icy eyes were met with a giggle of all things, which was in turn followed by more crying. It was horrendous.
Now, I’ve gotten some flack from some readers about how cruel and unsympathetic I am to children, and I’d like to add that I do like a few kids — mainly the ones related to me because THEY have been raised by good parents and therefore are well behaved (props to my brother and sis-in-law). But let me add that this rant comes not from being a hater. No, this rant comes because this child was seriously awful. I can say this because there were other toddlers on the plane who were perfectly benign and lovely. One woman walked her boy up and down the aisle about ten times, but it was fine because he made not a peep. The toddler in front of me, however, was all screaming all the time. You’d think the parents would get the bright idea to similarly walk their kid around the plane to mollify his restlessness, but no, they did no such thing. In fact, they didn’t even take him to the bathroom once the ENTIRE TIME. Poor kid — he probably had shat his pants somewhere over western Colorado and was just begging for new diapers. Either way, whether the child was terrible or merely the parents, I can say that I was most miserable. In fact, the noises became so loud and horrific that I simply had to record them with my webcam. Hence the video above. Check it out to sample ninety seconds of my pain. I defy you to make it to the end of the clip…
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JoJo- Sorry but that woman was under no obligation to switch seats with you. Like you said, your husband was there and if you were so intent on being with your daughter you could have switched with him. People in this world don’t (and dont have to) care about you and your children (which this woman demonstrated).
This would be the only reason I would EVER need to fly 1st class. At least you weren’t taking Ryan Air; it is probably has the most cramped airplanes imaginable. You would have been begging to be infested by that kid’s germs.
Lucky you didn’t take Ryanair…otherwise that kid would have been breathing down your neck.
I feel you man. Once a couple changed the kid’s diaper in MY seat while I was in the bathroom!!!!!
The worst though, was the man who had his laptop on during a red-eye. EVERYONE else was asleep with the lights off and he was right next to me, tap tap tap tap with his bright overhead light on too, as if the laptop glare were not enough. I started STARING at his laptop hoping he’d get the hint and even turned his overhead light off when he went to the bathroom, but he turned it back on.
We were almost in New York when his laptop died. I was never happier.
I can completely top all ‘Awful Kid’ stories.
Flight from Vancouver to New York.
4 children, pregnant mother and incapable father.
Those 4 brats (on bothe sides of the aisle) kicked the seats the entire trip and when, after much turning around and glaring by us in the row in front of them, the father told the kids to stop they would look at him, grin and kick the seats even harder to prove to him that he had no control over them whatsoever.
His next attempt to stop them was to give them candy, which of course just gave them sugar highs and more kicking power!!
Another attempt by him was to turn the kids portable DVD on – WITHOUT HEADPHONES – so we could all hear the wonderful singing of childrens videos. YAY!!!
And of course the AirCanada wenches did nothing to stop this. They thought it was amusing.
I was totally dismayed when I realized the mother, who had done no parenting at all on the trip was preganant with another monster. At the baggage claim the entire family stood in the middle of the walk way so no one could get around them, that is until I told her I would run their kids over with my luggage cart if she didn’t move.
I feel your pain. There needs to be a separate sound proof room for babies on planes.
I’m really sorry that the kid bothered you. From the sounds of the video, it wasn’t pleasant for anyone in the immediate vicinity or probably even the whole plane. Just realize that there is a good chance that the kid’s parents were mortified, even if they played it off like they didn’t care or were cool, deep down they were probably totally mortified. We took my autistic toddler on a plane once and I was so worried she’d have an outburst, but we ended up getting a lot of compliments from other passengers that she behaved so well for her age. However, if she ever had an outburst, I would be mortified….trying to do anything that I could to mitigate the situation, but the fact of the matter is that toddlers don’t like to be confined but they lack the social skills to effectively communicate and understand that it’s not appropriate to let them run around the airplane. I agree with the above poster who said that kids should get their own soundproof room. I’d gladly sit in there with the other moms and their kids. Kids crying doesn’t bother me near as much as it used to before I had kids.