It’s only been two weeks since we last saw The Real Housewives of New York City, but Bravo thankfully injected us with a dose of reality methadone last night with its much welcomed “Lost Footage” special. I like the New Jersey cast and all, but honestly, it would be impossible to top the insanity and excellence of New York’s second season. As such, seeing the likes of Jill and Bethenny and Ramona and Kelly was like having an old friend come over for dinner. Nothing but good times and fond memories. Really, none of the casts have anything on these ladies. Not only are they a perfect maelstrom of cattiness, but they live and operate in much more fascinating circles. While the Atlanta ladies ponder the complexities of guacamole made in a mortar and pestle (a.k.a. a ROCK) and the Orange County women scream on booze cruises in Havasu, the New York clan goes to cultural events and red carpet soirées. Not saying they’re any less tacky… just a bit more awesome.
Anyway, most of the footage in last night’s show proved to be pleasantly amusing, but not particularly outrageous. The only truly hilarious moment came courtesy of the Zarin posse, who decided to have family night at Bowlmor Lanes. Poor Ally proved to be a total disaster at bowling, prompting an excitable Jill to demand that “BAWWWWBBY!!!” teach “AAAAALLLLY!!!!” how to play. Needless to say, there was lots of screaming and gutter balls. Words really can’t do this scene justice. It was simply hilarious â€â€Ã‚ possibly one of the most hysterical interludes of the entire season. I never thought three minutes of shrill squawking could ever be so incredibly entertaining.
As for the lost footage from the reunion show, most of it centered around Alex, which makes sense given that she was practically absent during what had previously aired. She courted the usual questions about her husband being gay etc., but her best moment was her response to the question “Who would you vote off the show?” Pretty much everyone had said KELLY (so much for diplomacy, Countess), but Alex made the sensible argument that each woman had brought something special to the group and the show, and at this point, the best option would be to flip a coin. This was followed by awkward silence and then LuAnn, who seethed, “FLIP A COIN?” I was shocked that LuAnn The Countess de Lesseps didn’t scramble across the room and put Alex in a chokehold, all the while screaming “FLIP A GODDAMN COIN? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND??? YOU KNOW WHO ELSE FLIPS COINS? MY NO GOOD EX-HUSBAND!!!!”
Really, the only bad part about the entire show (aside from the fact that we’ll now have to wait months for the women to return) was watching Andy Cohen address the camera every five or ten minutes. His first appearance, with his crotch aimed directly at the low-angle camera, was enough to turn any stomach. It didn’t help that he had shiny spots all over his face and that he looked more nervous than Ally at a bicycle fair. Hasn’t he done this before? Nevertheless, his constant narcissistic preening for the camera has gotten out of control, and I’ve yet to find anyone who actually enjoys him as a television personality. (Of course, if he ever offers me a job, he’ll be the bestest ever!) Point is, I think it’s time for Andy to step aside and let someone else take the emcee reins. He’s simply too awful.
Anyway, onto the photos!
