HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Heading Back To The City…

Compared to last week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, last night’s show was rather tame. There were no fights, no major passive-aggressive statements, and certainly no insane bouts of hypocrisy. Still, we had plenty of fun as we watched the ladies do their thing around the city, and for once, Kelly Killoren Bensimone showed slightly more personality. We got to see her acting as a mother — which seemed strange and not quite fitting — and we also saw Top Chef loser Sam Talbot (he of the endlessly cocky disposition) whip up a healthy meal for the Bensimone household (and LuAnn, who was observing awkwardly).
In other news, we also learned that the de Lesseps household is something of a black hole for animal life as both a goldfish and a hamster passed away under the watchful eyes of Victoria and Noelle. What the home now lacks in pets it more than makes up for with regal photos — specifically the shot of what I imagine to be is some de Lesseps ancestor posing nobly with a dog. The camera didn’t linger on it, but I couldn’t help noticing the strange picture just hanging on the wall by the breakfast nook. Struck me as odd.
Elsewhere, Bethenny went on a date with a chef, which seemed nice, if not a bit boring. Ramona’s husband continued to pester Jill about this stupid tennis game, and Jill in turn continued to pester Brad (rightfully so) about the renovations in her apartment. The good news for her was that her place was in far better shape than Alex and Simon’s, which appeared to be in ruins. I’m glad Jill shared my sentiment that the project would be taking way longer than just a few weeks to complete (as Simon had expected). And speaking of Simon, I was most surprised that Alex revealed the source of their love came from a casual hookup board on the Internet. That’s right, Simon and Alex were just two strangers in search of a quickie, and what did they find? LOVE. I’m sure that’s a romantic tale they’ll be sure to share at the next Metropolitan Opera gala.
Anyway, photocap after the jump…

“Gender equality? Hahahahaha. That is too funny, my love.”

“Mother, please never come shopping with me again.”

“Sea, if you don’t start behaving, I’ll make you put on ten more sweaters.”

Kelly: “It’s important for my children to dress the same. And to be named after bodies of water. Isn’t that right, Lagoon?”

“Just remember, Victoria, when you meet a boy in boarding school, be submissive.”

Kelly: “Why do I always get stuck talking to you?”

“Braaaad, why is there no Zaaarin faaaabric on the walls? I’m gonna tell Bobbbby and Aaaaaaalllie.”

“You’re gonna cook for me? Of course you’ll cook for me. You’re a chef. That’s what chefs do. Forget about it. I’m shvitzing in here I’m so exciting. Shoot me right now. Just kill me.”

“Where are we? Is this the zoo?”

“We really mustn’t let the boys see this. They’re used to St. Barts construction, and this might traumatize them.”

Alex: “I’m starting to think Jill doesn’t even CARE that I fashioned a tiara out of this dust mask.”

Alex: “These yoga products remind me of the first time Simon and I got into our leather harness and fucked the SHIT out of each other. That was a good second date.”