Stupid Dog Feared Stolen!!!

I just received an urgent, automated call here at home. Apparently one of my neighbors has a missing dog, and even worse, the owner suspects that he’s been stolen! That’s right, the inappropriately named Buddha has been plucked out of West Hollywood, disappearing into the ether like a fleeting, spectral vision. I have to admit that this is the first time I’ve ever received an automated call about a missing pet, and being ever curious, I went onto the website findtoto.com where I was told I could find more information. Of course, a part of me feared this might just be some lame (yet effective) marketing strategy for Beverly Hills Chihuahua, but no, the website was legit. I looked up the missing pooch, and lo and behold, there was Buddha — looking pretty much as dumb as a dog can be made to look.
Buddha’s picture after the jump.

Now isn’t that the stupidest dog you’ve ever seen? It’s bad enough when people put a little bit of coloring into their dog’s hair, but to do this to 90% of the coat? It’s just idiotic. I’m left wondering who would even want to steal this emerald mess? Perhaps it was some benevolent soul who wanted to save Buddha from a life of humiliation and shame. And why is this dog named Buddha of all things? I mean, it’s tiny. There’s nothing Buddha-ish about him, especially since he’s been painted green (and apparently blue too, according to the description… oy). The good news for the owner is that this dog should be darn near impossible to miss (unless Buddha happens to be traversing an errant clover patch), and while losing a pet is always difficult and sad, I can’t help feeling that perhaps, this was for the best.
Nevertheless, if you see this pitiful dog, call 310 396-4400 or 877-PET-TOTO.