Wow, the tempers certainly were flaring on last night’s Top Chef. Thanks to one of the most colorful bottom threes in recent memory, the assembled panel of Tom, Pad, Ted, and Sam (wtf?) were on the receiving end of many angry, defensive remarks. I guess that’s what happens when you have certifiable (but lovable) nut job Andrew squaring off against raging hell-bitch Lisa. As Chef Tom Colicchio loves to say, there certainly was a lot of FINGER POINTING going on.
Overall, it was a thoroughly amusing episode. The only thing that was missing was our old friend Gail. Aside from her absence, we had all the usual fun stuff: Antonia babbling about her family, blue-collar people enjoying fancy food, ghosts sabotaging Lisa’s rice, and Richard Blais being AWFUL (this week, he managed to make his dumb haircut look even worse by applying some sort of elastic headband apparatus). Sadly, Bravo’s screencaps don’t include any shots from the Judges Table, which is too bad because that’s where all the fun stuff happens, but we’ll just have to make do with the other pics.

“Hi Spike. Your food will now be judged by me and someone with a very small restaurant pedigree.”

“Padma, the question of the day is: do you like faux-hawks?”

“C’mon, Dale. Even I think you’re being a bitch, and I’m the nice one.”

“You know what, vegetables? FUCK YOU!”

“And FUCK YOU TOO, stir fry!”

“The only FUCKING thing that will save this FUCKING dish is my FUCKING sunny personality!”

“Thank God you’re here, Ted. Poor Gail would have been starving after this challenge.”

“The problem with this dish is that the shrimp is undercooked and the rice is raw. I don’t know who would want to eat that — you know, aside from Gail.”

“I mean, when I told Gail there wouldn’t be one single deep-fried dish today, she nearly fainted, bless her heart.”