TV. Food. Pop Culture.
My recent adventures in domesticity have been rather complex affairs involving multiple exotic ingredients and often a few hours of cook time. That’s why I decided to simplify things with a less grandiose endeavor: hummus! This Middle-Eastern treat requires only a few elements: tahini, garbanzo beans, olive oil, salt, and garlic. How hard could it be?
This would be a piece of cake. OR WOULD IT?
Continue reading “ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Hummus Edition”
I gotta admit that this latest Vegas episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was a bit disappointing. We’ve had so many jaw-dropping, tense, and cringe-worthy installments that this one felt tame in comparison. First of all, the entire pre-Vegas portion of the show was a bit dull. I think the producers were going for some sort of thematic structure about parenting as we saw each house wife interact with either their parents or their children in some significant way: Jeana visited her fam in Wisconsin, Lynne chatted with her amusingly aghast mother, Vicki went shopping with her daughter, Tamra got drinks with her mom (and managed to yet again find some way to incorporate the fact that she was the hottest housewife into the conversation), and Gretchen observed as Jeff enjoyed time with his kids. There were some highlights here and there (such as when Brianna announced that she loved her job, but, you know, sometimes she gets into her car and CRIES afterwards), but overall, the first half of the show as dullsville.
Things spiced up for the second half when the producers wisely sent all the women off on a Vegas adventure, which kicked off unsurprisingly with Jeana bitching and moaning as she rolled out of the limo. Soon, Gretchen and Tamra were in their usual pissing contest over who was hotter (Gretchen had a leg up this go-around with her official “Hottie Whistle”), but the real excitement came courtesy of Lynne, who continues to be the unlikely hero of this season. She should be so awful, what with her terrible parenting and obsession with physical appearance, but I’m growing to love the way she absorbs all the passive-aggressive insults hurled at her (ahem, JEANA). One of these days she’s gonna snap and just go off on all these women, and it will be fantastic.
That being said, her inability to know whether or not she had air conditioning in her house was somewhat hilarious and baffling all at once. Methinks some rasta cabana boy must have slipped her a dime bag because bitch looked like she was ready to toast up some Ego waffles, turn on Matisyahu, and watch Planet Earth for the rest of the night. In stark contrast was Vicki, who was as hyper and insane as usual. When Gretchen announced that her favorite drink was a dirty martini with bleu cheese stuffed olives, you’d have thought she’d just sailed away in Vicki’s yacht. Vicki was appalled. That’s HER favorite drink! How could anyone else like Vicki’s signature drink? Fairly easily, if you ask me, but in a display that was straight out of kindergarten, Vicki complained that Gretchy was being a copycat. The horrors! I’m shocked Vicki hasn’t already written an angry letter to Julie Andrews: “Dear Ms. Von Trapp: It is widely known that raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens are a few of MY favorite things; so please stop singing about them. I don’t appreciate copycats, and if you do not cease, I’ll have no other option but to take the matter up with my legal team. Sincerely, Victoria Gunvalson. p.s. this also applies to cream colored ponies, crisp apple streudel, doorbells, sleighbells, AND schnitzel with noodles.”
Anyway, onto the photocap…
Continue reading “HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Cougars Descend on Vegas”
Who would have thought the Parsley Chronicles would become such a dramatic saga? Here I thought it would be an amusing photographic journey from seed to plant, but instead, it’s turned into a roller coaster ride of expectations and dreams â€â€Ã‚ all of which seem poised to come crashing down at any moment.
Last week, the Obama Sprout brought hope and optimism to my cup of fledgling parsley. Alas, while I still maintain hope, it’s become apparent to me that hope alone will not save this poor plant. That’s why today, I took matters into my own hands and attempted a Hail Mary procedure in an effort to revive this parsley to its fullest potential.
The gritty photos after the jump…
I know this may be premature, but this new Human Giant-flavored ad campaign by Pepsi may already be my favorite of Super Bowl Sunday. I mean, it’s Will Arnett and scallops. How could that not be funny?
Turns out this spot is one of several Pepsi produced and put up on YouTube. I’m not sure which one will air during the big show, but they’re all worth taking a look at. Based on this and the three MacGruber-themed ads during Saturday Night Live last night, it seems as though someone in Pepsi’s marketing department might actually have a sense of humor…
To check out all the spots, click here.
After making shrimp piri piri last week, I found myself craving chiles, which is odd because it’s never really been something I’ve ever craved before. Well, never one to ignore my desires, I did some research on Epicurious and came across an intriguing dish called “Adobo Chicken in Parchment.” The recipe is fairly self-explanatory: make some adobo sauce, place it with some chicken in parchment paper, and steam it for two hours.
Sounded simple enough â€â€Ã‚ and healthy too. Why not give it a whirl!
Continue reading “ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Adobo Chicken in Parchment Edition”
Was The Real Housewives of Orange County ever this jaw-dropping? Once again, an episode has left me floored by the lack of manners and courtesy on display â€â€Ã‚ but here’s the shocker: it wasn’t Vicki or Tamra exhibiting the offensive behavior. This time around, it was none other than Jeana’s kids Shane and to a lesser degree Colton who proved to be absolutely despicable. The boys â€â€Ã‚ particularly Shane  ferociously demeaned their mother, frequently using the f-word and other disrespectful language. The poor woman has become a human punching bag, and it’s true that these kids don’t know any better, thanks to their dad, but that doesn’t mean Jeana should just sit there and take it. I think anyone who watched the show last night wanted to reach through the screen and slap the douches upside the head. Vicki looked like she was about to flip the table while Kim seemed more quietly shocked, probably fearing her young son would misinterpret any of this as acceptable behavior.
I do wonder if when Shane watched this episode if he felt any sense of shame or regret. I imagine no. He has the maturity level of the silicon in Tamra’s chest. I can’t even imagine what sort of a doormat Shane’s girlfriend is. And yes, I should mention that Shane’s girlfriend is named SHANA. Really? Really? Poor Colton, meanwhile, is still young and impressionable, and it’s clear that he looks up to his big bro. It’s also clear that he follows his lead, which is probably why he was pissier than usual this episode. Of course, the saddest part of all is that both these kids are gonna start their own families at some point and the cycle will continue.
And speaking of troubled kids, let’s look at Lynn’s spawn, affectionately known as #1 and #2. The younger daughter, Alexa, seems to be okay, but that older one, Raquel, is a real piece of work. Sure, teens drink, but she was pulling some brazen moves. I enjoyed how Lynne acted so defenseless, continually saying how hard it is to keep kids out of trouble. How about you start by saying “NO.” Or maybe “You’re not allowed to go to Las Vegas for the weekend with your boyfriend at 15.” Just thinking out loud…
Anyway, onto the photocap…
Last week, the Internets were aflutter that Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild and Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewives of Atlanta were an item after the two were spotted at Sundance. This seemed like the most unlikely of pairings; so I asked Joe Francis myself if this was true.
His response: “I am not dating Kim Z – I took one picture with her on a press line – I did not even know who she was.”
So there you have it. Joe & Kim are not together. Another mystery solved!
Previously on The Parsley Chronicles, all hope seemed to be lost for my once bountiful cup of parsley. However, I noticed one sturdy, colorful sprout and realized that maybe there was hope for this plant after all. It’s a funny thing â€â€Ã‚ hope. The word seems to get thrown around so often, but now that Obama’s in the White House, I can’t help but feel that maybe, just maybe, he might be empowering this parsley to make a comeback, all through the power of hope. After all, if anything could symbolize the past ten years, it’s this parsley: excitement, success, and growth followed by stagnancy, decay, and general sadness. The new sprout is the new hope. IT’S THE OBAMA OF HERBS!!!!
Or so it seemed. Has the Obama sprout followed through with its promise and potential? Pictures after the jump…
Continue reading “THE PARSLEY CHRONICLES: Chapter 9  The Spirit Of Obama!”
Apparently Miss America 2009 will be crowned tonight, and to promote this wonderful occasion, glamour shots of all the competing women have been posted online. I thought I’d share these images with you and let you see the true personalities of the many beautiful ladies who shall be squaring off at some point tonight on some cable channel. (Oh how the mighty have fallen).
Pictures of every single beauty queen after the jump…
Update: Apparently the pageant started about an hour ago. Ooops.
Continue reading “Taking A Look At Our 2009 Miss America Contestants”
After spending an afternoon stewing half the ingredients in my kitchen to make Beef Rendang, I was in the mood last night to cook something up a bit easier. You know, like shrimp. Turns out last month while I was investigating African dishes for my failed attempt at a Survivor: Gabon tie-in, I came across a nifty South African dish on Epicurious.com called prawns peri peri (or piri piri, as it’s also spelled). I contemplated cooking it up as the ingredients were far from demanding (prawns/shrimp, garlic, oil, lemons, chiles, etc.), but as part of the recipe, you’ve got to make a batch of peri peri sauce. Again, not very difficult at all (just add chiles, garlic and lemon rind to oil and shake), but I was afraid that after I made the dish, I’d be left with all this sauce and nothing to do with it. Nevertheless, I tabled the dish for the time being while I contemplated whether or not I wanted an extra bottle of peri peri sauce lingering around.
A few weeks later, I happened to catch that show Ask Aida on the Food Network, and lo and behold, she was making shrimp piri piri (hers were piri piri, not peri peri). Her recipe was somewhat different than the Epicurious one (not by much), but what attracted me to it were the amazing colors it seemed to have. You guessed it: vibrant orange â€â€Ã‚ the magical color that all my food seems to take on these days. More importantly, Ms. Mollenkamp’s recipe didn’t require me to create a batch of piri piri sauce. I was sold.
My attempts to do the piri piri after the jump…
Continue reading “ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Shrimp Piri Piri Edition”