ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Drunken Late Night Squid Edition

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Last weekend I returned from a rousing night out with my friends quite drunk and quite hungry, and in such situations, it’s not uncommon for me to summon a sober party and request transport to the nearest late night eatery, particularly if it means venturing into Koreatown for some late night galbi, bulgogi, tofu, or pho. However, as I am trying to be thrifty of late, I decided I would make do with some drunken snacks of my own making. But what to have? My apartment has been a bit under-stocked recently, and the options for homemade vittles were few and far between. But then I got to thinking: I really wanted Korean food, and I had all these Korean ingredients in my fridge, and furthermore, I had just recently made this neat recipe for dinner that I could surely whip up again. And so it was decided: I would be cooking SQUID.
Yes, in a strange turn of events, I happened to have half a bag of frozen squid rings in the freezer. That was all I needed to get this party started. So even though I was probably in no state to be cooking, let alone near an open flame, I got out my wok and went to work. Photos of this most peculiar adventure after the jump…

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HOUSEWIVES RECAP: More Reunion, More Bickering, More Amazingness

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I really didn’t think The Real Housewives of New York City could top Tuesday’s tumultuous hour of reunion fighting, but last night, they proved me wrong. Thursday was Kelly’s time to truly shine, and what we got was nothing but a stream of incoherent ramblings from the model/socializer/owl enthusiast. The woman literally made no sense, and while at time I could soooort of understand her thought process, she was still too inarticulate to convey her points, thus causing further drama as the other ladies happily jumped on every poorly chosen word of Ms. KILLOREN Bensimon. Thankfully we had Alex, who after sitting quietly on the couch nearly the whole episode, finally chirped up and spake what we all were thinking: most of this could have been avoided had Kelly been more articulate.
But that will never happen. Kelly can’t be articulate because she’s simply all over the map. Everything she said was so incoherent that even Ramona of all people had to literally stop her, look her in the eyes, and tell her that she simply does not make any sense when she talks. And this is coming from Ramona. Ramona! Crazy-eyed Ramona!

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HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Dirty Jerzey Edition

Well, ladies and gentlemen, after many marvelous weeks in the big city, the Real Housewives franchise has headed back to the ‘burbs for its third spin-off, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and I gotta tell you: it’s showing lots of promise. So far, I don’t really hate anyone yet, and while Danielle seems like a perfect candidate for Internet wrath, I had to respect the way she told off her would-be suitor, saying he should never talk to her again before adding “Or DIE!” Can we really hate that? I’m not sure. I also really liked the Manzo sisters, Dina and Caroline. The former mom (a.k.a. the blonde one) won a place in my heart when she told her daughter, “Don’t be terrible.” The latter mom earned my adoration simply by being maternal (although, I was not a huge fan of her apathy towards college education). Still, I could listen to that promo of her leaning forward and saying, “Let me tell you a something about my family. WE ARE AS THICK AS THIEVES!” over and over again.
Caroline’s kids seemed amusing too, even if the daughter did spend half the episode traipsing around in some sort of pseudo kimono gettup that made her look at times like a butterfly and at other times like a Golden Girl. As for Caroline and Dina’s sister in law Jacqueline, she seemed sweet and likable, but I fear that she will become either boring or very annoying. Then again, it’s hard to say where things will go. I thought Kim seemed cool after the first episode of Atlanta. Anyway, who’s left? Ah, Teresa. Like the others, she seems fine now, but her penchant for marble columns — not to mention her overbearing stage mother habits — gives her plenty of potential to turn awful. For now though, I am happy with all the wives, and I’m just more than a tad bit excited to see where this franchise will take us.
After the jump, a photocap (furnished by the few pics Bravo has posted on its site).

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HOUSEWIVES REUNION PHOTOCAP: The One Where Everyone Screams At Each Other All At Once

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These reunions just keep getting better. The Real Housewives of New York City descended on Wall Street last night for part one of their vociferous, catty showdown, and to say that tempers flared would be an understatement. Moderator Andy Cohen proved to be more inept than usual as he demonstrated a near inability to control the likes of Ramona, LuAnn, Jill, and all the other high strung ladies in attendance. He seemed visibly miffed at one point when Ramona pulled his cue cards out of his hands, and later he was totally flummoxed in his attempts to silence the action before the crew was the break for lunch. In short, it was a disaster for him, but a godsend to us because let’s face it — any Watch What Happens special where Andy is relegated to the sidelines is fine by me (and let’s give him three cheers for finally mastering the art of buttoning up his shirt).
As for the rest of the show, there’s not much I feel like I can add. Everything really spoke for itself. Ramona proved to be as crazy as usual, Jill continued to be a master instigator/maternal figure, and Kelly was just as fake and strange as ever. I suppose if I had to pick a favorite moment (of which there were many), I’d call it a tie between Ramona defending her paper-thin lie about shunning Silex’s party in favor of food (“I don’t eat in Brooklyn, OKAY?”) or LuAnn breaking the tension after Kelly’s breakdown by saying, “Well, he’s certainly NOT a gentleman!” But truth be told, you could pretty much advance the tape to any random timeframe and wind up on a gem of a line. Great, great fun. And we still have more on Thursday! YAY!

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In Search of Blair Underwood

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“Well hello.”

Back when I joined Twitter in February, I announced a plan. I wanted to gain at least a thousand followers and have one of them be a celebrity. Well, it’s almost three months later, and I’m at a steady 389 followers, which is nice, but let’s face it: I really expected to be crossing the 50,000 threshold by now. Nevertheless, while I’m more or less happy with the progress of my Twitter army, I’m a bit concerned about this whole celebrity follower issue. Namely, that I have none. For a brief second, I thought Shia LaBoeuf had signed up to receive my droll commentary about life and its ironies, but it turned out that it was a fake Shia. Consider my mood dashed.
Compounding my frustration is that I actually know two people who could be considered celebrities, but I don’t have the sort of friendship with them that they’d just ADD me, and I feel nerdy emailing them and asking them to add me (besides, that takes out all the fun). I really want the celebrity to come organically. However, I’m starting to realize that this might never happen. Therefore, I’m going to entice a celebrity to follow me. And that celebrity is Blair Underwood.

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Seriously, Who Is This?

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I’m fairly excited to see I’m A Celebrity… Now Get Me Out Of Here!; although, I must admit that the anticipation has waned a bit since it’s been ruled that Rod Blagojevitch would not be allowed to participate. Either way, with Heidi, Spencer, Sanjaya, and Janice Dickinson stuck in the jungle together, there’s still potential. This still leaves a big question mark though: no, not “Whatever happened to the rumors of Geraldo Rivera joining the cast?” but rather, who’s the blond chick? Not even NBC seems to know as the promo that aired during last night’s Apprentice finale referred to her as “the wrestler girl.” Okay, I guess? No disrespect to the producers, but was this really the best you could do?
After the jump, two more random promo stills from the show.

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Best 'Apprentice' Finale Ever?

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As many people may know, I’ve been an Apprentice fan since the very beginning — loyally standing by the show even as an undeserved backlash nearly threatened to sink it completely (okay, the Los Angeles season DID suck, but it still had its moments). However, for as great as I believe the series is, NBC and Mark Burnett unceasingly botch the finale every single season — producing a bloated, awkward, and generally disappointing final episode that’s usually more noteworthy for its length than anything else. In fact, it’s been my longstanding theory that after season two’s disastrously long finale, the buzz turned on the show as people focused less on its entertainment and camp value and more on its propensity for product placement and overblown statements from Trump himself. Whether or not that theory holds true, it’s fairly undeniable that the Apprentice finales always seem to be lacking in some way. Either they’re total blowouts by one player or they’re crammed full of dumb filler segments (ie. musical numbers or polling audience reaction) or they simply lack drama. And let’s not forget about the awkward “reunion” elements of the show, which are always equal parts dull and unsatisfying (unlike Survivor, which knows how to do a reunion right, the Apprentice always drops the ball in magnificent ways by rarely asking noteworthy questions and dedicating only about two minutes of airtime to the segment in general).
However, that all changed on last night’s epic finale. It had everything we always wanted and needed from such a show, and finally we were served up a climactic episode that was enthralling, exciting, and full of the intense hatred we like to see from celebs in competition. In short, it was amazing.

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'Apprentice' Mansion Up For Sale!

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Hey, remember that awful season of The Apprentice that took place in Los Angeles and totally jumped the shark and nearly ruined the entire franchise? Well, the house that all those people stayed in (or at least the ones that weren’t stuck in the yard) is up for sale. The estate has nine bedrooms, ten bathrooms, and enough space to tent as many losers in the backyard as you see fit. So if you’ve got a few extra million hanging around, why not give it a shot? It’s part of reality TV history!
Check out more pics and details here.
Thanks to jash for the link

ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Homemade Pita Bread Edition

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Last week, I dialed back the exoticism with the cooking and attempted to make something very ordinary: pita bread. This was my first foray into the world of bread making, and while I know pita is sort of a lightweight entry in that category, I still wound up kneading and using yeast, which are two things I’d never really done before. I’ll be honest: I was a bit scared. However, since I’ve become a convert to homemade hummus, I figured why not take the next step and go for homemade pita too. It would certainly be cheaper than store-bought. The question is whether or not it would be a wise use of time and effort. Results after the jump…

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HOUSEWIVES FINALE PHOTOCAP: Sweet Charity

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Bethenny: “Huh. I thought we were all wearing MURDER GLOVES tonight.”

Sadness. The Real Housewives of New York City has drawn to a close for the season, and while there’s two whopping helpings of reunion next week, it just won’t be the same. The good news is that we got the Jersey girls just ’round the corner, and let’s face it, Bravo has smartly developed this franchise in such a way that we really can go a full year without having any gaps in our Housewives fix; so really, what the hell am I complaining about? Nuthin’.
Anyway, the big finale ended at Jill’s charity auction for Creaky Joints — a bizarrely named organization whose logo (written in “bone” font) was a bit too literal for my tastes. I mean, I know it’s all about curing arthritis, but must the letters appear as if they’ve been carved from Lucy’s skeleton? It’s like the Flintstones were in charge of branding. Nevertheless, with a season’s worth of drama leading up to the big event, it’s no surprise that Jill became a total crazy woman, barking and fighting with seemingly everyone — or at least Ramona and Bethenny. The former fight was rather standard fare. The latter was an all-out screamfest — the kind where I thought both women might actually start crying and begging for Mommy. I was shocked that Ramona, of all people, proved to be the calming presence in the fray.

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