Yesterday, I was leafing through the Hollywood Reporter when I came upon the above ad for some shlocky thriller that will be screening in Cannes this week (surely out of competition). The film’s name is Burning Bright, and while the title might suggest some sort of reference to Hanukkah or the Shoah Foundation (or at least a much deserved sequel to the 1992 masterpiece, Shining Through), a closer glimpse of the ad copy reveals that there’s much more at work here than just an enigmatic name.
First we have an image of a lovely young woman, clearly in a state of distress. Has her menorah ceased to BURN BRIGHT?
Then we see the source of her agita: a prowling tiger emerging from the den! WTF? Is she housesitting for Siegried and Roy? This Hanukkah has most certainly gone awry.
In the third panel, we are overwhelmed by pure, feral menace! Clearly this tiger does NOT appreciate the finer aspects of suburban living. Nor does it respect the Festival of Lights.
At this point, I’ve come to accept that this film does not pertain to Judaism but in fact the bizarre concept of a girl trapped in a house with a tiger. Not quite as catchy as Snakes on a Plane, but I suppose Big Cat in the Foyer is just as good. Nevertheless, if the concept thus far feels contrived, just wait. There’s more. Here’s the logline (a.k.a. a one sentence description) for the movie:
In case you can’t read it, let me do the honors:
“Trapped in a house with a ravenous tiger during a hurricane, a young woman must decide whether to sacrifice her autistic younger brother to save her own life.”
Tigers? Hurricanes? AUTISM? ON THE SEVENTH NIGHT OF HANUKKAH??? Okay, I added that last part. Still, that’s a lot of craziness for one story. I’m starting to think this may just be the first movie ever adapted from Mad Libs. It’s kind of inspiring. Maybe I’ll dump my magnetic poetry on the floor and see what loglines I can come up with.
Works for me.
What about the best part? According to IMDB Meat Loaf is playing the role of “Howie”
Hm. It seems that the title is also some kind of reference to William Blake — “Tyger, Tyger burning bright in the forests of the night…”
How dare she sacrifice her autistic brother. Maybe instead she should consider sacrificing herself for starring in such a banal movie.