IDOL RECAP: Panic at the Disco?

GIVE THE KID A HANKY (pic courtesy of Rickey.org)

I was kind of dreading last night’s episode of American Idol. The theme was “Disco Week,” and this did not portend well for this group of thrushes and troubadours. You see, the major pitfall of the genre is that unless pulled off properly, disco performances will invariably sound cheesy and outmoded — thus attracting criticisms of “karaoke” at best and “hotel lounge singer” at worst. (And let’s not overlook the dreaded “amusement park” label.) Surprisingly, I thought the kids did a pretty good job. Let’s start with the worst…

7. Lil Rounds
Poor, poor Lil. She just does not get it. I wish someone would sit her down and say, “Listen to the radio. Do you hear the way the singers sound? Now, when you go on stage, think about how you want to sound on the radio. Do you think your version with that arrangement would ever get any airplay?” Unfortunately, no one appears to be doing that, and if they are, then Lil is an idiot (or possibly listening to Lite FM). She certainly got the crowd moving on Tuesday night with her version of “I’m Every Woman,” and she certainly was more energetic and youthful than ever before, but the whole thing really was a mess. I didn’t even think she sang in tune. We’ve heard that song performed on Idol a few times, but this may have been the most bizarre. With two people going home this week, I’d be shocked if she survives the bloodbath.
6. Anoop Desai
I liked the beginning of Anoop’s take on “Dim All The Lights,” but the rest was forgettable, boring crap. Seriously, it was lame and mediocre, and I don’t know how any of the judges could give him passing grade. Thankfully, Simon tore into him; so that was nice. And Anoop does get credit for growing some facial hair to hide his upper-lip sweat. But if I had to guess, I’d think that maybe Anoop was going home this week too.
5. Danny Gokey
Like Lil, Danny has a great voice but little originality. Unlike Lil, however, the judges never call him on it. I guess his voice is strong enough to make his cheeseball tendencies seem less offensive. And/or it could simply be that his unoriginal, sappy, and cheesy renditions of songs match his personality (whereas they don’t with Lil). And therein lies the problem with Danny: he’s bland and boring. Even Kara alluded to it when she praised his voice but worried whether we’d remember him. You know, the judges gave Danny credit for finding range in “September” by Earth, Wind, & Fire, but all I cared about was how dumb it all sounded. Sure, it’s a great song, but it’s an oldie at this point, and Danny did nothing to “contemporize” (not a real word) it. If anyone should get the amusement park label, it’s him.
4. Matt Giraud
I really do like Matt Giraud, even if he doesn’t have the strongest voice in the group (and a centrally located mole that just won’t stop). On Tuesday night, he did a funkified version of “Staying Alive,” and I thought it worked. Best of the night? No, but very good. It showed personality, and he managed to make an old, campy song sound fairly fresh again. I’m sure, however, he was a bit nervous when Paula told him that he picks songs the way she bowls. That could not be good. She elaborated though that sometimes she hits gutter balls and sometimes she hits strikes — a dubious claim at best. I’m sure half the time her bowling balls go rolling off into the crowd. Nevertheless, Paula called the performance a strike; although, Simon was baffled by it. I think it was enough to save Matt, but I have a feeling he could be going home again.
3. Allison Iraheta
Allison continues to bring it in this competition. Her rocker version of “Hot Stuff” was rowdy and sexy (as sexy as Allison can be, which is not much — statutory rape considerations be damned). The judges gave her flack for the arrangement of the song, but I thought it was actually pretty awesome. I liked the growling guitars, and she did a tremendous job. As Simon said, “brilliant.”
2. Adam Lambert
The top two were very close for me. Once again, Adam slowed things down, and that’s pretty much when he’s at his best, if you ask me. He doesn’t indulge his desire to scream to the heavens — although, he let the monster loose a few times in his version of “If I Can’t Have You.” For me, the best part of the performance was that he really seemed emotionally attached to the music. Like Paula said, he did appear to leave his heart out on the stage. The only reason why I didn’t rank Adam top of the night? Well, he did squeal one too many times for my liking, and at the end of the day, if I were to buy a song off of iTunes, it wouldn’t be Adam but rather…
1. Kris Allen
I absolutely loved Kris’s rethinking of “She Works Hard For The Money.” It was the most original transformation of the night and totally fresh and unexpected. Even better, it fell right in line with who Kris is as an artist and continued to fortify his brand. Whereas Adam has a chameleon quality to him that is admirable in some ways and ostentatious in others, Kris is really all about being himself and telling people who he is as an artist. Gotta give him the edge this week. I also enjoyed Paula’s metaphor when she told him that a lot of girls shop in the men’s department but few guys shop in the women’s. She then added that not only did Kris shop in the women’s, but he found the perfect fit. Of course, Simon either played dumb (or actually is dumb) and balked at Paula’s metaphor, taking it totally literally in an effort to piss her off. Either way, it was annoying, and I realized that with all this talk about who wastes the most time talking, a good amount of blame falls on the Brit who frequently gets Paula off track or wastes upwards of thirty seconds or more needling and engaging her. Props, however, to the producers for nixing the videos and focusing on the singing this week.
Anyway, that’s my rundown. Who do you think was the best? And who should go home? And can we do ’90s dance music instead of disco??