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I believe this picture really brings new meaning to Kelly’s signature put-down “I’m up here, and you’re down here.”
One more picture of crooked mammaries after the jump…

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“Right boob, you need to chill out. You’re completely inappropriate.”

30 replies on “Regarding Kelly Bensimon's Magnetically Opposed Breasts”

  1. They just look so strange. Why do they look like that? I’m sorry, I have some of those, and mine just don’t work like that.

  2. Wow, it’s not even the crookedness, it’s the vast space between them. It’s like anti-cleavage. And the fact that she is openly accentuating it.

  3. They look ridiculous. How did she make them do that? She can’t possibly think that looks good.

  4. Love how this creature $urgically altered her body for aesthetic reasons and now looks like this. Can we talk about how freakin’ ugly that dress is? Egads, even if she didn’t have the unfortunate plastic tits that is a grievous garment. Let’s hope she is wearing it backwards and doesn’t know.

  5. It looks like her implant migrated to her axilla.This must be the latest thing; having your breasts mushed into your armpit.
    Kelly needs to put her name on that look: Bensimon Breasts.

  6. I could try to be clever but I’m just going to go with the first thing that came to mind:
    Ewwwwww.

  7. Take note, those contemplating getting plastic boobies. First of all, look at how elegant and natural Gabrielle Reese looks (and dear god how much hotter her husband Laird Hamilton is compared to this guy). Secondly, if you proceed, take this photo to the surgeon and say, “I do NOT want to look like this woman in lilac!”

  8. Kelly’s right breast to her left breats “I am here and you are there and we will never be friends.!”
    hb

  10. Maybe she’s one of those women from Total Recall, she just had her middle boob removed. I’d still hit it.
    And what died on that dudes head?

  14. Tori Spelling should be down on her knees thanking this chick, as she makes Tori’s cleavage gap seem like a hairline crack.

  16. “That guy” isn’t Laird? I thought it WAS him.
    That dress isn’t doing her boobs any favors, but she proves that money can’t buy taste.

  18. That’s one of the worst boob jobs I’ve seen. Not only did she pay for that, but she obviously thinks it looks good, wearing that low cut dress.
    Just another reason she’s an idiot.

  19. Cockeyed much?
    B-Side, did you see the NY Post, Sunday or Monday?
    The Kelly owl thing…mmmmhmmm…
    Kreepy Karma is a bitch.

  20. camshy, you hit it on the nose, um, chest… I was thinking I’d recognized those boobs from somewhere and thanks to your post, it came to me. Her boobs clearly are homages to Morty Feldman’s eyes!!

  21. That is Laird Hamilton. Wicked super hot surfers don’t have to care about their coiffure – at least not at my house!

  29. id love to fuck her.she is the hottest housewife on the show.id love 2 fuck those big tits!

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