HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: The Socializer Emerges!

Kelly: “You know what would be great? A fashion show with all arthritic models. It would be so cute.”

It took a few weeks, but we finally got a taste of Kelly Killoren Bensimon’s personality on The Real Housewives of New York City, and overall, it was kind of awful. She’s not particularly mean (so far), but in tonight’s episode, she came off as shallow, fake, and somewhat lacking in substance. Then again, it’s not like she’s come off as anything but that; however, I was thinking that maybe there might be more to her. Nope. She’s pretty terrible.
First Kelly announced a bizarre hatred for trying on clothes, which was weird but not necessarily bad (although, it makes me wonder why she’s so adamant about putting sweaters on her children). Then we saw her stumble her way through a borderline incoherent interview with Jill Stuart (previously seen on Top Model last week), which made me wonder if Kelly was able to string two words together, let alone two phonics. The biggest oddity, however, came when she announced to LuAnn that she absolutely hated putting her name on events. Granted, it’s not an absurd hangup — after all, if you don’t want your name on something, you shouldn’t have to have it on there. The problem was that her justification for this didn’t really make sense. She explained that she really was overextended to too many obligations and charities as it stood, but when LuAnn asked her which ones in particular, Kelly answered NONE. Oh. Okay…
Kelly’s hang-ups truly came to a head at the end of the episode when she arrived late to an organizational meeting for Jill’s charity and then declared that she didn’t feel comfortable having her name on the fundraiser materials. Goodness — I’m shocked she let Bravo put her in the opening credits. Needless to say, her request royally pissed off Bethenny, who’d been quietly fuming all episode (not to mention all season). Apparently, Kelly had given Bethenny the royal snub two years ago, and it was most certainly NOT forgotten on our favorite Natural Foods Chef, who bitterly accused Kelly of being a social climber who only associates with those she deems as powerful or influential. So far, there’s been little evidence to disprove these allegations; although, when the two women were uncomfortably seated next to each other in fashion week, I have to credit Kelly for at least trying to be pleasant to Bethenny, who was as cold and prickly as one of her Skinny Girl Margaritas. That, however, was Kelly’s only positive moment. Everything after that was downhill, starting with her declaration that she had met Bethenny only twice before. This was hilarious, only because we’d just listened to Bethenny bitch and moan about how she’s encountered Kelly “ninety-five times” (an exaggeration for sure, but certainly the number is higher than two).

Truly, though, Kelly’s best / most awful moment came when she learned that Allie suffered from arthritis. Her reaction? “That’s cute.” Huh??? It was possibly one of the strangest responses to learning of a medical condition. It’s like telling someone you have shingles and getting “Work it, girl!” in response. Making matters worse was that Kelly kept patronizing Allie by calling her a “little girl,” which was borderline inappropriate and 100% condescending. I don’t know much, but I know that if Kelly starts up with these girls, she’s gonna get torn a new one. I don’t care that she beat up her fiancé — it’ll be Kelly who’ll walk away with the black eyes from this crowd (might be a welcome distraction from the perma-bronzer on her face).
Amazingly, there was actually another spat in the Housewives universe tonight, but it was significantly less exciting (even if it was totally awkward and entertaining). For whatever reason, Simon decided to get in Ramona’s face at a Russell Simmons fashion show, and while he doesn’t necessarily deserve the hatred that Ramona spews toward him, the front row at fashion week might not have been the best place to air it all out. That being said, it was deliciously fun as Kelly and LuAnn (who were sitting next to Ramona) tried to play off the bizarre scene unfolding around them. LuAnn was probably cheering on Simon quietly as she still carried plenty of quiet rage about that whole “Older man” comment from Ramona (AT THE CANCER SOCIETY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!).
I have to admit that Simon and Alex really aren’t bothering me as much as they used to. There’s a little bit of a double standard being applied to them by some of the other women, who complain that whenever there’s a social event, of course Simon and Alex are going to show up. But the other housewives are there too; so why is it wrong for “Silex” to arrive also? I guess there’s a sense of eagerness around Simon and Alex — like two desperate wannabees — that separates them from the rest of the pack. Either way, as pretentious as the two of them are (and yes, they are very pretentious), I can’t help feeling like they are actually very nice people. (And you can totally tell that Alex was a huge dork in high school.)
Anyway, too much babble. Onto the photocap…

“I got a great idea: let’s put Kelly’s name on the invitation and then have her try on a whole bunch of different outfits for charity. She’ll love that!”

Bethenny: “I can’t wait for this fashion show. I can’t imagine anything ruining it. You know, unless I get seated next to THAT BITCH KELLY KILLOREN Bensimon, but that probably won’t happen.”

“Ladies, let’s get started. Kelly was going to join us, but she’s apparently super busy not putting her name on all the charities she’s not involved with.”

“I look cute, don’t I? Almost as cute as a little girl with arthritis.”

“I can’t believe I almost fit into the size zero! Even with my bra-hrr on! Now I’m gonna look like one of those skinny bitches. UGH! I’m being judgmental. God’s going to strike me down. Hopefully he’ll spare Ginger.”

“Ha ha ha ha ha, my love, this is awkward.”

“We just love the designers in Williamsburg, but we would never take François and Johanne here. They’re accustomed to the designers in St. Barts, and we wouldn’t want to traumatize them.”

“See, I like taking pictures with you, Allie. You’re much better than THAT BITCH Kelly Killoren. Feh!”

“Braaaad, I want to look good for Bobbbby and Aaaaalllie and Zaaaarin Faaaaaabrics. ALLIE! CAMERA! NOW!”

“Well look at me. It’s like I’m stepping through a fabric vagina!”

What did you think about the episode? And what are your thoughts on Kelly Killoren Bensimon, a.k.a. THE SOCIALIZER?