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Scandal alert! Scandal alert! This week’s episode of The City introduced Whitney to the bitch-eat-bitch world of fashion, and for the first time, Whit-Whit learned the hard way that you’ve always got to look out for numero uno. Yes, none other than Olivia Palermo took full credit for pulling Jessica Alba’s cover look for Elle, even though it was W-w-w-whitney who was the brains behind the outfit. As you can imagine, this led to all sorts of googly eyes that seemed to pretty much convey one simple sentiment: “That BITCH!” You know, I’ve defended Olivia quite a bit, but these actions by her are fairly indefensible. That doesn’t mean she’s any less entertaining though. In fact, Olivia was really in her prime this week as she aggressively chirped over and over again, “That’s my outfit!” (or something like that.) Sadly, the presence of Nevan (or BEVAN as Jay so cleverly calls him) was sorely missed as I could have only imagined the haughty discussion he and his cuz had in regards to this whole debacle.
Elsewhere in the wide world of The City, the terminally bored Allie moved into Erin’s apartment, which seems to maintain a steady flow of boarders, despite its overabundance of picture frames and walls the color of fresh new tennis balls. Jay, meanwhile, reconnected with his supposed stalker ex, and the two went off into the night for what we can only imagine was some late night koala love. Of course, given that this group of friends is the biggest crew of tattlers on Manhattan, it didn’t take long for the news to get back to Whit-Whit, who mournfully looked off into the distance, wiping an errant tear (or perhaps just a crumb) from her cheek. And the answer is no, I did not care.
Onto the photocap…

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Whitney: “Okay, so let me get this straight: you want us to pull five outfits for Jessica Alba.”
Olivia: “And then I’ll take full credit, yes?”

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Whitney: “What do you think about this?”
Olivia: “It’s a bit matchy matchy, but I’ll take credit for it, if you don’t mind.”

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“Hmmmm… I wonder if anyone will be mad if I take credit for landing that plane in the Hudson. After all, it was me who did it.”

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Erin: “You’re more than welcome to stay here for as long as you need.”
Allie: “Ugh. I’m bored.”

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“Seriously, Jay, can you stop fidgeting for ONE DAMN SECOND?”

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“I have to hold my head up with my hand otherwise my greasy hair drags it down. OY! Bob’s yer uncle!”

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“Do you like this scarf? I sewed it myself.”

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“What in the what whaaaaa?”

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Samantha: “I can’t believe that bitch.”
Allie: “This is boring. I’m bored.”

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“Hey Jay, mind if I blow on your didgeridoo?”
“Not at all. OY! Waltzing Matilda!”

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“Wow, look at all the great work I’ve done. You know, Diane, I actually wrote this entire magazine. And I printed it on my Hewlitt Packard. Thank you. Thank you very much.”

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“What now, Whit? You’re gonna tell me I look like a homeless bum who stumbled onto a hat? OY! Kylie Minogue!”

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“Uggggghhhh… I’m just so, what’s the word?, BORED.”

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“I’m soooo pissed at the red velvet cake right now.”