I think discussion of last night’s Real Housewives of New York City begins and ends with Ramona assaulting Governor David Patterson with her own struggles with blindness. It pretty much sums her up to a T: crazy, funny, often inappropriate, and lacking self-awareness. Moments like this are what link this iteration of the franchise to Orange County and Atlanta and at the same time completely differentiate it. After all, Ramona is just as cringe-inducing as Tamra or Kim, but unlike them, she has access to high society circles (somehow) that those other women do not. So what am I trying to say? I don’t know. I thought I had a point, but I’m not sure I do.
Nevertheless, last night’s episode brought more of the crazy, thanks mostly to Ramona, who when not one-upping the blind governor was lecturing the Countess about boarding school, hissing at Alex and Simon, or talking about her daughter’s rheumatoid “something.” (Way to stay on top of her medical condition. I suppose that’s not one of the memories they share at night in bed.)
LuAnn meanwhile displayed some uncharacteristic rage at the end of the episode when her husband, Count Alexandre, missed their daughter’s DISASTROUS horse show. Methinks this was a mere appetizer to what appears to be a De Lesseps meltdown next week, no doubt spurred by her housekeeper’s new sassy look. Jealousy will do odd things to women. Speaking of Rosie, it was nice to see her back (even though we caught a glimpse of her two episodes ago in the background). LuAnn gave her a warm welcome before immediately cracking the whip and sending the poor woman down to the basement to deal with all those complicated things like folding up boxes for the trash.
On the Jill front, our favorite Yenta was more than overjoyed to have her dear Aaaalllie back from France, but her joy was soon replaced by embarrassment over her “Gay Husband” Brad, who I still find to be one of the most annoying characters on the show. He, like many of the other gay sidekicks in the franchise, seems to think he’s innately outrageous and hilarious by mere dint of being gay. However, he’s not. He’s just floppy and annoying. (To be fair, Dwight from Atlanta did have a few funny lines, particularly the immortal “How you going to have a fashion show with no fashions?”) Anyway, Jill was pretty low-key this episode â€â€Ã‚ as low-key as she can be  with only a mild flare up towards the end as she got into a stupid argument with Ramona’s husband about choosing partners for a tennis game. It went on far too long, but I guess Jill was feeling a bit testy after Ramona so cavalierly disregarded the party’s explicit purple theme â€â€Ã‚ the horrors.
Less connected to the action this week were Alex and Simon, who treated themselves to a relaxing spa day in their awful rental. Luckily, they had a nifty all-in-one masseuse/spa-guru/tarrot-reader/landlady available, who was able to take care of all their needs, none of which were particularly pleasant to watch. Seeing Alex and Simon sweating in a tiny spa was akin to witnessing two banana peels wilt in a toaster-oven: waxy, pale, and not something I’d want to try again.
Of course, while “Silex” may have seemed like the most boring part of the show, we can never overlook Kelly Killoren, who has yet to do anything remotely fascinating beyond falling off a horse. She earned some bonus points for giving Ramona the most brazen of cold shoulders (the visual of Ramona in her big hat waiting for a hug as the leggy former-model simply traipsed by her was an instant classic), but overall, Kelly remains a bit too muted for the show. The good news is that she definitely holds plenty of fake-bitch potential what with the way she so eagerly abandons lame conversations to mingle with “cooler” personalities (again, note the Ramona situation). For now though, Kelly is just an empty body taking up precious screen time. Hopefully this debilitating lack of charisma won’t jeopardize her weekly column, “Socializer.” Or as I call it, SSSSSOCIALIZER!
Now, onto the photocap!
