Coming off the tension-filled, passive-aggressive romp that was The Real Housewives of Orange County reunion special, I thought the latest episode of The Real Housewives of New York City would be a slight letdown. How wrong I was. It was hilarious as ever with Bethenny tearing up the screen with more one-liners than usual. Jill, meanwhile, was up to her typically Jillish antics (being an unabashed yenta), and Alex and Simon continued to make me wince with their staggeringly pale beach bods (not to mention their dramatic concern about how the Hamptons beach might forever traumatize their St. Barts-acclimated children). We had some fun times with The Countess, who after scolding an audience for talking over a charity presenter, then proceeded to completely talk over said charity presenter moments later. In the Ramona department, we caught a glimpse of her in circa-1993 exercise garb, and aside from some overly bronzed legs, she didn’t appear too incredibly different. Not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. And then we had Kelly, who made a brief, boring cameo appearance in the show, which served no real purpose beyond perhaps reminding us that she does exist and that yes, even models are prone to intense facial sunburn.
Amidst all the usual craziness, we also witnessed a rather poignant scene between Bethenny and Jill’s mother (who reminds me of about ten or fifteen women in my extended family). The family matriarch gave Bethenny some sage advice and then promised to take the lovelorn natural foods chef under her wing in an effort to be the mother Bethenny never seemed to have. It was surprisingly touching, even if it was a bit heavy conversation for BREAKFAST.
Anyway, I would go on about the episode, but I must be off to get my hair cut. Photocap after the jump…
“Okay, Noel, I’m going out with the girls. The dog will make you dinner.”
“But Mommmmm…”
“My mother always told me that I should always have my own white lizard because you never want to be dependent on your husband’s white lizard.”
“People, I just can’t take it anymore. Does anyone know a good housekeeper? I simply canNOT endure another one of these awful taco nights with the kids.”
“I’m gonna sit on this side of the chaise lounge.”
“Well, I’m gonna sit on this side.”
“So wrong that I should want to sit over here?”
“Sit wherever you like.”
“‘Sit wherever you like’ she says. I should be so lucky!”
“So you’ll sit where you’ll sit, and that’ll be that.”
“Maybe today I’ll sit here; tomorrow I’ll sit there.”
“It’s a free country.”
“You think I don’t know this?”
“So you know it  I can’t reiterate it?”
“Reiterate. Reiterate. See if I care.”
“Here we go with the guilt.”
“You want I should be quiet?”
“Speak your mind.”
“Alright, so I’ll speak it.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
“One second it’s Passover; the next, it’s Yom Kippur. And then it’s Passover again. These things hang heavily on me, Jill. Oh wait, no. That’s just my necklace.”
“Kelly, it’s an honor to be boring with you.”
Lots of bulges and flatness on all the wrong people.
“Aaaalllie, be sure to take some faaaaabric to Paaaaaris.”
What did you think about the episode?