THE CITY PHOTOCAP: I'm In Miami, Bitch!

Ahhhh… At long last. MTV has put screen shots of The City on their site! I don’t know when they started, but I think the last time I checked in about two weeks ago, there were none. Now, as some of you have read in the comments section, I absolutely love this show, but because of my other obligations, I really don’t have time to write recap it. It kills me because every episode I have so many snarky comments running through my brain. Of course, I could just wing it, and do a general overview (like my 24 recaps), but for some reason, the way the show is shot and edited, it’s hard to remember the sequence of events as all the scenes seem sort of to flow in and out of each other in a dreamlike quality. Anyway, the point is, I can finally do photocaps now, and I’m more than thrilled.
For those of you who haven’t jumped on The City train, here’s what you need to know: it’s awesome. I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back to The Hills with the same love. Whereas the latter show seems to be running out of storylines, The City seems fresh with potential. Also, it’s sort of exciting to see a cast that seems by and large a tad bit more sophisticated than what we get on The Hills. Lauren and Lo are fine, but Heidi? Spencer? Brody? Frankie? Audrina? Justin-Bobby? They’re all a bit — how do I say it — nouveau riche? It’s like comparing the Real Housewives of Orange County with New York City. I’m not saying that Adam, Erin and Jay are the second coming of the Algonquin Table, but there is a slightly less poseurish quality about them. Of course, they’re still douchebags — let’s get that straight. But at least they don’t wear trucker caps.

Personally, I can’t stand Jay. His constant shifting (not to mention shiftiness) drives me nuts, as does his inability to ever speak without closing his lips. Every phonic seems forced out between his lower lip and his upper teeth; although, usually he’s speaking with a goofy smile on his face half the time; so you’d be lucky if his teeth ever touch his lips in the first place. Yes, I’ve scrutinized this way more than I should.
I’m also not a big fan of Erin. She’s okay now, I guess, but in the beginning of the season, she was really trying entirely too hard to play the sidekick. She didn’t really bring anything interesting to the table, and she still hasn’t. At least she’s not so self-consciously aware of the cameras. Personally, if there were to be a second fiddle, I’d want it to be that Sam girl — you know, the one who looks mildly like Laura San Giacomo. She seems at least a bit more interesting than Erin, and probably a better representation of Manhattan in general. But alas, we have bland old Erin, which means we’ve had to sit through strikingly boring and uninteresting yarns about her boy troubles with a guy named JR (or JB?) and Duncan… or Dudley… or something like that (all I know is that he’s whiney, he’s from Toronto, and he looks like a homeless person).
But of course the real stars of the show are not Jay or Whitney or Erin or their respective others. No, no, no. The real stars are Olivia and her cousin Nevan, the two Upper East Side kids who we’re meant to despise, but I can’t help loving them. Putting aside the ludicrous “uptown” vs. “downtown” rivalry they’ve cooked up, I find that despite their snobby, sniveling ways, I pretty much agree with almost everything they say. The highlight of each episode is the inevitable Olivia and Nevan summit in which they bash Whitney and all her friends. Hey, I love Whitney as much as the next guy, but it’s all about Olivia on this show. Even when she’s being horrendous and flexing those insecurities via bitchiness like a real life Blair Waldorf, I can’t help but love her. There’s a reason why more people like Blair than Serena.
Anyway, I’m starting to sound like a goofy tween girl, which is really not an ideal image to portray when you’re a thirty year old male. So I’ll just shut up and let the pictures do the rest of the work:

“Look at me. I’m smiling with my eyes. Just kidding. I’m in the throes of frigid ennui.”

“Your sweater is so heavy.”

“OY! Who’s that sheilah over there??”

“Jay, promise me that later on you’ll sing me one of your highly forgettable songs.”

“I just want to say that I feel bad that I FUCKED your boyfriend. Is this awkward for you?”

Chemistry that cannot be denied.

“You know what was funny? When I saw that kid Nevan, I called him Bevan. That’s my thing. I add a ‘B’ to people’s names. In fact, next time I see Olivia, I’m gonna call her BOLIVIA.”

“This conversation is making me nauseous. But that might also be because you haven’t showered in three weeks.”

“So Erin, why don’t you tell me something completely boring that no one will care about.”

“My haircut makes me look like a shaggy dog.”

“‘Allo! My name’s Jess, but you can call me Poppy!”

“I want to trust you, Babe.”

“I’m sorry, Honey…”

“This always happens, Babe.”

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way, Honey…”

“Babe…”

“Honey…”

“Babe!”

“Honey!”

“BABE!”

“HONEY!”

“[sigh] Babe…”

“[sigh] Honey…”