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So I’m not really into interactive Facebook activities — ie. 25 Things About You — but B-Side Blog reader Honeybunny introduced me to this new thing called, for lack of a better name, “Google Game.” The concept is simple: type your name into Google and add the words “likes to.” Wrap it all in quotes, press “search,” and then list the top ten results. I was heavily amused at first, but when I read the HI-larious results for another reader, Jennifer30309!, I knew I had to give it a try. First I did a search for “Benjamin likes to,” which was funny. Then I did “Ben likes to,” which was even funnier. And then, just out of curiosity, I checked out the second page of results for the latter search query, and that was the funniest of all. I was so entertained that I decided to reprint it all here. Results after the jump…


“Benjamin Likes To”:
1) Benjamin Likes to read Goodnight Moon.
It’s important for me to intellectually challenge myself.
2) Benjamin likes to indulge his love of auctions.
Oh, I’m so BAD!
3) Benjamin likes to smell clean but does not wear cologne.
I prefer my own musk.
4) Benjamin likes to keep it simple.
Damn right. Hence, no cologne.
5) Benjamin likes to smell clean but does not wear cologne.
How many times MUST I reiterate this?
6) Benjamin likes to spend his time sitting on the SoJewish board and running his other Net business
SoJewish board is the place to be. No need for the goys. FEH!
7) Benjamin likes to joke, cousin Samuel.
Cousin Samuel can be so dense sometimes.
8) Benjamin likes to work on his Mac computers and repair Mac computers, ride off- road vehicles and like to service automotive vehicles as well as off-road …
I’m telling you, I could go on and on about all the off-road things I like to ride and service.
9) Benjamin likes to have a nip at their heels when he’s behind ’em.
Especially when it’s someone from SoJewish!
10) Benjamin likes to draw his subjects as they may be seen if they were to exist in the real world.
You can call me a regular Matisse.
Now for Ben Likes To (the first result came out a bit screwy, but funny nonetheless):
1) Ben loves his ball attention
Step right up, people.
2) Ben likes to party.
Much like the Venga Bus.
3) Ben likes to look at his cousins on the fridge
Especially my most beloved cousin, Cousin Samuel.
4) Ben likes to act gay.
Hey, can’t a man like ‘The Real Housewives of Orange County’ without judgment?
5) Ben likes to party all the time.
Especially if it allows me to indulge in my love of auctions!
6) Ben likes to party.
It’s how I get my ball attention.
7) Ben likes to spring surprises
Yes, sometimes I indulge in my love of SILENT auctions!
8) Ben likes to talk about his vacation.
My travels are well received in the SoJewish community.
9) Ben Likes to Work Big— And Wood Print Proves it.
Yeah, so FUCK YOU.
10) Ben likes to, in his words, kluge.
I kluge every night before I go to bed.
Okay, and now the results 11-20 of “Ben likes to”
11) ben likes to think about new york
It really is the kluge capital of the Northeast.
12) Ben likes to wash his hands with soap and water before eating
It all goes back to my incessant need to smell clean.
13) Ben likes to screech.
Especially when I kluge.
14) Ben likes to dress up in womens clothes and calls himself Katrina.
It is my greatest shame, my greatest pleasure.
15) Ben likes to screw
Especially after reading Goodnight Moon. Now let’s KLUGE.
16) Ben likes to work on the computer, play video games, spend time with friends, and make people laugh.
But instead he often just cries himself to sleep. You know, after a good kluge session.
17) Ben likes to party.
I cannot emphasize this enough.
18) Ben likes to polish his shoes (tops and bottoms) and maybe pick up a banjo or guitar to strum a comforting tune to pass the time away.
Just me acting gay again.
19) Ben likes to see Kate.
I don’t know who Kate is, but we’re totally gonna kluge.
20) Ben likes to eat- a lot- all the time. His first doctor’s appointment is tomorrow, so we can see how much weight he’s gained.
It’s not me who likes to eat. It’s Katrina.
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34 replies on “Best New Facebook Game?”

  2. Your comments underneath are hilarious. This is my very favorite of mine…
    Beth likes to work on her geo-thermal earth berm house in southern Indiana
    No words to describe that one.

  4. I played the game. Here’s my favorite that came up:
    It’s one glorified mothers’ meeting with ladies vying to shout above each other about who has more outrageous views, and Carol likes to come …
    Those mother’s meetings really rev my engine.

  6. Direct from Google and number one result I might add…
    . In private, Sue likes to wear clothes taken from the “Dead Box”, which contains clothes that comes with the corpses that enter the hospital. …
    It really trumps “Sue likes sculpture.”

  8. Betty likes to egg Zorg on with his artistic efforts, and to rail against the forces that keep him in submission. Whenever possible, and that’s very often.
    I didn’t know anybody knew about that!

  9. Julie likes strolling the Millennium Bridge, running in Regent’s Park, and surreptitious dancing wherever and whenever the mood strikes.
    I’m alarmed that someone knows this much about me!

  11. This was in 11-20 but definitely my favorite:
    Monica likes to eat cheese and watch nature films- ask her about her erotica, i mean “short stories”.

  12. Wow HoneyBunny, you sure are a funny Bunny! I wish I knew how you thought up this clever game!

  13. “Danny likes to get laid.”
    “Danny likes to bash hamsters with his hamster basher.”
    “Danny likes to have a good time, and is comparable to Ace of the Real World: Paris.”
    “Danny likes to give bible to the men he meets in the jail and still maintains contact with some of them once they get out.”
    The internet is so great.

  15. bs – you should have let me win at Word Twist.
    oh and I also invented oxygen. Your Welcome.
    hb

  16. Colleen’s are boring. They like to read, garden, and make pine cone wreaths.
    Oh, they also like to show their nips on You Tube…so there’s that.

  17. I only had 12 results total and six of them said that I like to show off my pussy. It is available on DVD.

  18. Colleen, apparently I like to smell your armpits. I’m assuming it’s when making pine cone wreaths.

  20. I like to watch and also like to eat it all. Nice. More importantly, I like to “be beside the seaside.” My penchant for rhyming has apparently become well known to my friends in the voyeur world.

  21. Apparently everyone with my first name is a boring prude just like me. The most original comment was from a daycare worker, who when asked what she liked to do with her spare time responded, “I have no spare time.” meh

  24. Most of my results were banal, but I thought this one was funny:
    Julia likes to go up to the tree, touch it gently, say “nice, nice tree” and kiss it!

  25. I have to admit that some of the ones that came up for my name were amusing, none more so than finding out that I like to have sex during “Deal or No Deal”.

  27. Okay this was fun.
    Apparently Robin likes to:
    join the cool surfer gang
    travel at others people expense
    look at women
    pilfer other comedians punchlines
    talk about the energy-wasting negativity of sexual jealousy
    fish and pick her nose pictures
    I’m really a mess!

  28. Scott likes to use words like: challenging, uplifting, encouraging, satisfying, fulfilling, outstanding
    –of course I do!
    Scott likes to read my blog
    –well, why else would I be here.
    Scott likes to get down from the stage sometimes and wander while he talks.
    –who doesn’t?
    Scott Likes To Party with pictures, videos, personal blog, interests, information about me and more.
    –yes, that’s how I party
    However, the best one…
    Scott likes to vomit

  29. Becky likes to say, “oh, it’s On, becky likes to say the words “shiny” and “jimmeny crimmeny”, becky likes to eat balloons, Becky, likes to threaten you and harasses tenants

  30. HA-
    Jessica likes to think she is a ghetto gansta
    Jessica likes to keep her clothes on
    Jessica likes to hurt people
    Jessica likes to start her day with a tbone steak
    and the best one…there is a website called http://www.jessicalikesto.com
    Fun game!

  31. Here’s my favorite…
    Becky likes to scuba dive, sky dive, make movies, drink fancy wine and travel. But all of those hobbies are pretty expensive, so she usually just sticks to writing. Words are cheap.
    My life exactly!

  32. Vicky likes to chase and catch bees, occasionally she eats them, bleh!
    Vicky likes to boost her confidence by boosting her boobs by stuffing her bra with tissue.
    Vicky likes to spread Christmas throughout every room of her beautiful home – and I think that these bronzed reindeer are the perfect touch.
    Vicky likes to do some unconventional roleplay in Sunbury.
    Vicky likes to strut her way out front captivating the audience as she belts out the lyrics to their favorite disco hits.

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