For its first two seasons, I never watched Real Housewives of Orange County because it always felt a little dull to me. Not so anymore. This season has featured one trainwreck episode after another, and I think we can agree that the producers finally got the casting mix just right. Gretchen has brought out evil claws from resident shallow idiot bitch Tamra, not to mention the aging queen bee Vicki. Lynne, on the other hand, is somewhat horrifying as a parent (her lecture about underage drinking seemed to emphasize the fattiness of white Russians over anything else) but increasingly likable as the “laid-back” (as the girls like to call her) presence of the group. Her wry sense of humor â€â€Ã‚ a.k.a. debating whether or not Tamra even knew she was there when she called all the girls “family” â€â€Ã‚ has been growing on me each week, which either says a lot about Lynne or a lot about how awful the other women can be. Probably the latter.
And speaking of awful, let’s talk about Tamra. She was the tacky beacon of nouveau riche idiocy last season, but now she’s ascended to glorious new heights as this year’s sun-damaged hyena who will do anything to maintain her self-proclaimed HOT throne (which, whether she realizes it or not, she’s already lost to a new generation of women, namely Gretchen). Her actions have become downright deplorable, but then again, without them we wouldn’t have as entertaining a show. I don’t think the irony was lost on anyone that a dinner party meant to showcase Gretchen’s new etiquette skills turned into a cacophonous mess as she and Vicki schemed to load Gretchen up with enough tequila to make her “Naked wasted.” I’m not sure Ms. Manners would have approved. In fact, the only “etiquette” Tamra was able to display was some banal anecdote about European women and forks from the mid-nineteenth century. Something tells me she’s still happily clucking away about it at social gatherings.
But as for that tequila… first, props to Gretchen for being able to down so much booze without booting up all over Brian Malarkey’s eight course SEAFOOD meal (he just can’t do anything else, can he?). Of course, Gretch had an assist from Mama Jeana, who when she wasn’t flaring her eyes in shock was secretly removing the shot glasses from under Gretchen’s nose. Still, Tamra’s plan to get Gretchen wasted worked like a charm. In fact, it worked too well. Over the course of the evening, Gretchen attracted the attention of Tamra’s spawn Ryan, the car-mechanic-cum-aspiring-police-officer-cum-bartender-cum-sexual-predator. As he blatantly put the moves on the clearly soused Gretchen, Tamra seemed to laugh it off rather than standing up like a mother (or an adult) and telling her son to scram. Vicki, meanwhile, sat in the corner all fussy and disapproving of Gretchen’s behavior, perhaps forgetting that she was complicit in this plan to turn the blonde into a drunken fool. In interviews, she complained that Gretchen always had to be the center of attention (says the woman who belts “Whooohooo!!!” every time she sees a dandelion seed float by), but of course, what Vicki seemed incapable of realizing was that the drunker Gretchen became, the more of a spectacle she turned into. Seems counterintuitive. Then again, I guess the point was to teach the young one a lesson: if you try too hard to be the center of attention, you get burned. Or at least stuck in a bathroom with Ryan, who when the words “To Be Continued…” flashed on the screen was only a few nanoseconds away from some good old fashioned date rape. Maybe Tamra didn’t think about that when she started the party.
Your captions are fantastic! What isn’t fantastic, is how Gretchen had to feel the next day.
How creepy is it that Nugget’s Dad followed her into the bathroom????????
Also I hope Tamara had to clean up all of the spew that resulted from Gretchen’s drinks!!!! Serves her right!!!! I’m sure her “hotness” doesn’t have anything protecting her from that stench!!!!!
You make some excellent points, B-Side: 1) Ryan clearly wants to do his mother; and 2) what they did to Gretchen is akin to (and depending on what happens next week potentially equal to) date rape. Nugget’s Dad is a fucking pig.
What I found particularly disgusting was how Tamra exploited Jeff’s terminal illness to further her plan to humiliate Gretchen, by encouraging Gretchen to drink to escape since she had been stuck in the hospital with Jeff for weeks. What a monster. Of course Gretchen bears some responsibility for choosing to drink so much, but how would she have know those evil bitches were conniving against her to that degree? I was also disappointed in Jeanna and the husbands, who did not step in and stop the “Mean Girls.”
“Oh Ryan…. kiss me with your Nugget lip!” – LOL.
Actually, last night’s show kind of disturbed me. Tamra, her gross son and Vicki are just vile people.
Nice B-Side! I agree totally with you. My boyfriend (he is so dutiful to watch with me) and I were totally disgusted by Tamra. Really, there are no words. Who does something like that? I know Gretch is an adult, but still, she had no idea what she was walking into. And why Nugget’s Dad wasn’t pulled way from her is beyond me. Well, he is Tamra’s son. Once you’ve said that, you’ve said it all.
I read the OC blogs on Bravo and for some reason Bethenny from NYC really likes Tamra and had no problem with this episode. Kinda changed my opinion of ole’ Beth. Also, the ladies are normally pretty quick to post and have yet to do so about this episode. Oh, and last week Tamra tried to intimate that she received some upsetting information about Gretch and that is why she was so awful at the race track. Gretchen discussed it herself this week, and said that the info (that she was dating some guy on the side) was debunked by the very man who called Tamra and Simon at 1 am the night before. Just like Tamra and Simon to be dumb enough to believe some random 1 am caller. Genius!
as per my posse’s usual Tuesday night routine…..we watched Nip/Tuck, then the Real Housewives. Last night’s R.H. eposide was unbeleivable and more entertaining than Nip/Tuck…which is saying ALOT.
That had to be the best episode of any reality show dinner party, including Keesha’s Bizzaro Birthday from Big Brother!
Vicky and Tamra are just evil bitches. Wow….I really have nothing else to say about them.
Looks like the fun (err, hangover) continues next week…I’m hoping Gretchen makes it out of the Date Rape Hotel OK. And by the looks of it, the other housewives jump down Lynne’s chiseled throat for sticking up for poor Gretchen!
argh
This was an amazing episode, I almost wish I had waited until next week so that I could watch both of them together. To be continued is the worst…
I found it disgusting that Tamara insisted on Gretchen staying at her house instead of sending her home with Lynne. She was basically offering up Gretchen to her son to go ahead and date rape…
Awesome captions B-side! You’re the best!
Forks are rovers. They are all over the place. Kinda like your son Tamra. The one that wants to put his nugget into Gretchen.
Lynne does look like a stoner – but she wouldn’t just because of the munchies factor. But it would be fun to watch her sit down and munch on a can of Pizza Blasted Pringles.
These bitches have stepped up their game from previous seasons. (Quinn?)
This season should be called “Coto-Colters”.
hb
Personally, I don’t hate Tamra and I think she’s hot. She’s not perfect, but she’s fun to watch. I think Gretchen is prettier than Tamra, for sure. But there’s something about her teeth that really bothers me – I can’t put my finger on it.
Ultimately Gretchen should have known better than to drink that much around those two faced evil bitches, but….
Tamara’s behavior was sickening! It’s one thing to get a girl drunk so you can make fun of her behavior, but it’s really evil to have her sleep over so your “man whore” son can date rape her. Then you can go around and tell everyone how horrible she is.
Hopefully the “to be continued” is just Gretchen puking on Nugget’s dad and Tamara cleaning it up!
I got a kick out of Lynne’s motherly advice about drinking and how “fattening” it is! How funny that was the only thing she was thinking about!
I found myself watching this show for the first time Tuesday night and kept watching b/c the Top Chef guy was on there without a hat. I had to watch.
and I don’t get it. Why are we interested in these horrific people? The one that looks like Steven Tyler asks her 16 yr old daughter not to drink white russians because they are “soooo fattening?” And then mentions they tasted like chocolate, which they don’t? Then we are treated to her 16 year old loser spawn bragging over and OVER and OVER about how drunk she is giggle giggle giggle with her lame friends at a bowling alley? And her parents gave her a car but she hasn’t passed her driving test yet?
I didn’t get the etiquette thing, but who wears their finest finery to learn how to put a napkin in her lap?
I felt badly for the lady who’s husband was in ICU but his kids look to be about her age. Am I missing something?
And the final dinner party scene was just too horrible so I didn’t watch it, but from what I read here, I am better for it.
Seriously, I don’t understand.
Tamra was encouraging her 22 year old man-whore son to date rape Gretchen…how disgusting was that. I pray to the reality TV gods that some of it was lost in translation with “editing”, it literally makes me sick to my stomach. And as crazy as Lynne is with her drunk face young daughter at least she tried to get Gretchen home.
okay – I know Tamra get saying the phrase “I’m going to get her drunk”, but honestly – how is it possible for one grown woman to get another GROWN woman drunk?!? I mean, obviously, if she was spiking her drinks, that would be different. But that’s not what happened. Gretchen is 30 years old and new FULL WELL what she was doing. I’m not trying to defend Tamra, but Gretchen is no innocent here and it piques my curiousity as to how so many people miss that.
test
It was the editing apparently
Tamra Sue’s blog
http://www.bravotv.com/Real_Housewives_Of_Orange_County/season/4/blogs/index.php?blog=tamra_barney&article=2009/01/wives_gone_wild#breadcrumbs
And Simon’s new business venture is selling the Brooklyn Bridge to people
i semi agree with livemusicjunkie. or at least with his attitude. i’m no fan of tamra’s liver spots or nugget’s dad. she was a manipulative little bitch this episode but i don’t think gretchen was so hapless victim. anyone who’s ever drank knows drinking only let’s down your guards. it does not make you do things that are not in your nature. gretchen was the one licking spoons and rubbing the nugget on her own. i bet if an ugly hobo was at the dinner party she wouldn’t be getting all “date rapey” with him. also, i think jeanna and lynne did what they believe was appropriate to help gretchen. if i didn’t know her that well, i wouldn’t be all up in her face about how she should be acting or what she should do, either. a lot of people will just turn on you and get upset with you. they’re all tacky insincere idiots but jeana and lynne are just a little more aware of the world around them than the rest. just sit back and enjoy the train wreck, don’t get all involved or you might get scorched.
i also agree with the teeth thing. they jut out too much. she has a good figure and blonde hair which = hot to most people. i think tamra has a prettier face.
i semi agree with livemusicjunkie. or at least with his attitude. i’m no fan of tamra’s liver spots or nugget’s dad. she was a manipulative little bitch this episode but i don’t think gretchen was so hapless victim. anyone who’s ever drank knows drinking only let’s down your guards. it does not make you do things that are not in your nature. gretchen was the one licking spoons and rubbing the nugget on her own. i bet if an ugly hobo was at the dinner party she wouldn’t be getting all “date rapey” with him. also, i think jeanna and lynne did what they believe was appropriate to help gretchen. if i didn’t know her that well, i wouldn’t be all up in her face about how she should be acting or what she should do, either. a lot of people will just turn on you and get upset with you. they’re all tacky insincere idiots but jeana and lynne are just a little more aware of the world around them than the rest. just sit back and enjoy the train wreck, don’t get all involved or you might get scorched.
i also agree with the teeth thing. they jut out too much. she has a good figure and blonde hair which = hot to most people. i think tamra has a prettier face.
Tamra is the most disgustingly rude person. I actually liked her last season but her and Vicki have turned into total bitches!!
Nip/Tuck has some great drama too in the story, the women in this tv series are gorgeous too eventhough most of them are mature’-‘
the last time i watched NIP/TUCK christian was stabbed and the other doctor had a breast cancer’..
i would always be a fan of Nip/Tuck, i was saddened about the episode when one of the doctors got breast cancer ~`.
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