Because of the holidays, I haven’t posted an update on my ongoing series, The Parsley Chronicles (feature film adaptation to star Ben Kingsley and Patti Lupone), but I can assure you there has been plenty of drama. Well, as much drama as a small cup of Ikea parsley can have. Turns out my green thumb turned a bit yellow over the break, and while the plant has certainly grown ever higher, it did so in a hostile environment brought on by yours truly. Yes, that’s right. I nearly killed my beloved parsley by neglecting to water it.
But wait! Before you get out your pitchforks and torches and barge down my door, I can explain! You see, it’s not that I neglected my parsley. It’s just that I was fearful I’d over water it. I am wont to bestow entirely too much affection on things from time to time, and I didn’t want my parsley to be victim to that. Plus, I’d heard rumors that I could incubate some harsh strains of mildew that would all but decimate my vulnerable plant; so as you can imagine, I was all turned around with my farmer sense.
The result of my error in judgment after the jump…
The parsley on New Year’s Eve. Everything looks fairly normal. But trouble brews below the surface…
Amidst the verdant growth, I spot some pale, troublesome sprouts. This does not bode well.
I think to myself, “Under-watering causes wilting that’s usually brown. Over-watering causes wilting that’s usually white.” I don’t know if this is true, but I go with it. Plus, on the bottom of the cup is a gathering of water droplets. That’s all the evidence that I need: this plant has been on the drink too much.
I decide to cut back on watering…
Cut to a week later, and the epidemic has spread. The sprouts have lost their lush quality as sickly leaves the color of light goldenrod quietly take over the cup. This is not good.
I consult my friend Jash, who knows a thing or two about plants. He quickly diagnoses the problem: “THE SOIL IS TOO DRY, YOU ASSHOLE.”
The horrors! I’ve been depriving my parsley of what it needs most! Water! Luckily, some hearty sprouts have begun to truly reach for the stars. I’m pleased to see the plant has ascended to such glorious new heights, despite adversity.
I immediately implement a more prudent watering schedule. I’m not overdoing it, but I’m conscientiously checking the soil more frequently now, adding water on a more regular basis.
I’m sure within a few more days, my nascent herbs will be healthy and vibrant again. However, I can’t help feeling that I’ve massively derailed the harvest timetable by stunting the parsley’s development. After all, it’s supposed to take ten to twelve weeks for the parsley to be ready for picking, and in case you haven’t been keeping track, we’re around week EIGHT.
Will the parsley rebound? Or will this entire experiment end in a resounding FAIL? Stay tuned…
Oh heavens! Here I was asking for a parsley update yesterday and today I am met with sobering news. My heart sunk when I read the title of this post, but I am feeling better now knowing that it was likely a temporary illness and not a death sentence. Our thoughts are with you during this time of recovery.
May the gods of parsely be with you.
Is anyone else concerned that this doesn’t all look like parsley? I fear that Elmtard Amsgar may have slipped at the IKEA seed packing plant and tossed some thyme and oregano in with your parsley. But a herbal melange can be GOOD.
Also, I heart the dickens out of that Jash.
Couldn’t an AquaGlobe solve this problem? Plus, they’re beautiful.
Umm, maybe it’s Swedish parsley? Refreshingly exotic and unique?
It doesn’t necessarily look like any parsley I’ve seen…
I’m intrigued.
Well, if this is going to put off the harvest, I need to know. I’d blocked out the first two weeks of February to celebrate the harvest and if we have to reschedule I need to alert the pageant committee ASAP.
OMG! I just looked at the pictures again. The only time I’ve seen plants like that was in “Day of the Triffids”. Be aware! Be scared! Be very scared!
Hav there been any strange lights in the sky over LA lately?
If you’ve had the heat on in your apartment that can really dry out your plants. And your skin. Hydration for all living things!
hb
I would parse the bad parsley from the good parsley so that only the good parsley will parservere.
You people make me laugh so much- I love it.
I love how all the parsley has migrated to one side of the pot. “Robdammit! Give us sun!”
This is today’s random post. Sigh, I miss the excitement and drama that was the parsley…
Don’t worry. There may be some basil adventures in the future…
Hey there b-side,
On the plus side, you have good germination of that parsley. It is notoriously difficult to start. And it’s definitely parsley- that’s what parsley seedlings look like. You wouldn’t expect it to look like a mature plant for some time.
You shouldn’t need fertilizer in a small pot that you’ve started with fresh potting soil. A single herb won’t take much to grow. Parsley is a biennial so it is done after 2years, anyhow. So, use an indoor potting mix with compost in it and it should be plenty (just like most veggie gardens- add compost at start of season and no need to use chem fertilizers on your food)
Now, to help solve the problem of plant health. This is way, way too many plants for one pot. You usually sow several seeds in the pot and once they’ve spouted and the 1st set of true leaves grow, you have to pull out all but one single healthy seedling. Parsley needs room to grow.