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It’s Thanksgiving time! And what am I thankful for? Oh, just the sublime hour of confrontation and self-delusion that the Real Housewives of Atlanta provided for us during last night’s gleeful reunion special. The fights were intense and exciting, trumped only by the juicy details behind such curiosities as Kim’s hair. Turns out it really is a wig, but not from cancer. No, Kim suffers from fake-cancer, but that doesn’t make her any less of a victim! Bitch had to wait three agonizing weeks before that fateful day at Chili’s when she found out she was off the hook. Do you know how hard that is for someone? I’m sure she could barely even enjoy those baby back ribs. Thank God no one told her they were grilled over a dozen little fiery charcoal rocks! It would have been the worst day ever. Props to Andy Cohen (you heard me right), who after confirming with Kim that she did NOT have cancer, asked if she was still smoking. Ya darn tootin’ she was! Good to see a cancer scare got her to change her ways.
Of course, the big story from the reunion was Lisa Wu Hartwell’s hostile attack on poor Kimmy. She accused the future Nashville star of being a habitual liar, and we never really found out why. Rumors on the Internets suggest that it was Kim who spread word that Lisa was a crazy wife to Keith Sweat, but who knows. I was just glad to see her drop the sweet act and get down and dirty with the rest of the girls. That leaves only DeShawn left to make a total fool of herself. Probably won’t be happening as she’s back in school (ie. getting a Masters in Divinity online). Nothing against people who get their degrees online, but I’m not sure I’d want a spiritual leader to have been ordained through Google. To each his own, though.
Onto the photocap…

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“DeShawn, you can’t seriously tell us you expected to raise more than $5 at that ridiculous auction of yours.”

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“Keep your legs closed around married men!”
“No, YOU keep YOUR legs closed around married men!”
“Do you even know what you’re saying?”
“I HAVE CANCER!”
“Fake cancer!”
“Whatever. I was at Chili’s. It was very traumatic. AND THEN THEY SERVED AVOCADO FROM A ROCK!!!”

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“Kim, you say something like that to me again, and I’ll have Anderson Cooper come out here and beat you with a rolling pin!”

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“Mr. Snow must wonder what the hell I’ve gotten myself into.”

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“I admit it: on TV, I did look 39 under all those layers of makeup. But as you can see now, I’m a fresh young 38.”

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“You know what, Kim? You’re the low budget bitch. You’re the human equivalent of costume joory!”

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“You know what, Kim? There’s drinks on the table, but the only dialogue I’m interested in is between your face and my fist!”

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“I’m Andy Cohen, and I’m wonderful!”

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“Hey DeShawn, the big girls are gonna fight now; so you might want to go to the back room for a few hours.”

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From right to left: Lisa Wu Hartwell, Nene Leakes, and Vivica A. Fox.

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“Kim, please stop talking to me. I’m posing for She By Sher-ayay Magazine. I’m gonna be the next Oprah.”

5 replies on “HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Some Old Fashioned Drinks and Dialogue”

  1. It seems Bravo edited the show weirdly, which did not help explain the angry outbursts both Nene and Lisa had against Kim. After Atlanta, watching the OC wives afterwards just seemed boring and tired, no fun drama there at all.

  2. The whole fake cancer/ Chili’s thing was just bizarre. It didn’t even make sense. Although I feel sorry for Kim, since all those women seem to despise her, she made a total jackass of herself. She just doesn’t know when to back off. She would have been much better off to admit that she:
    A: Wears a wig, which is her right and who fucking cares, anyway… deal with it, bitches. I mean, really, how is this any different from them all wearing weaves- WHICH THEY ARE!!
    and
    B: Never had any vocal training and shouldn’t have been bragging about her “singing career” before she learned weather or not she can sing (which honestly, I don’t think all the training in the world will help her with- She’s TONE DEAF for Christ’s sake).
    As far as “Tight Rope” goes, well, I’ve been searching high and low on the internet for a copy of her singing that… BECAUSE IT’S HILARIOUS!!

  3. The whole fake cancer/ Chili’s thing was just bizarre. It didn’t even make sense. Although I feel sorry for Kim, since all those women seem to despise her, she made a total jackass of herself. She just doesn’t know when to back off. She would have been much better off to admit that she:
    A: Wears a wig, which is her right and who fucking cares, anyway… deal with it, bitches. I mean, really, how is this any different from them all wearing weaves- WHICH THEY ARE!!
    and
    B: Never had any vocal training and shouldn’t have been bragging about her “singing career” before she learned weather or not she can sing (which honestly, I don’t think all the training in the world will help her with- She’s TONE DEAF for Christ’s sake).
    As far as “Tight Rope” goes, well, I’ve been searching high and low on the internet for a copy of her singing that… BECAUSE IT’S HILARIOUS!!

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