Who wants to start their week off with some light insensitivity? You do? GREAT! Let’s take a look at this blog entry from Amy Crews, formerly of Big Brother 3. Now, I’ve always liked Amy, but this story of hers is just ridiculous. It sort of plunges into awfulness so aggressively that it comes full circle and becomes oddly hilarious (in an awful sort of way). Read for yourself:
(If you don’t know who she is, just imagine a Southern Belle yapping this paragraph)
I am having Jose Beltran Gomez-Aguilar deported. I feel VERY patriotic about this – like I am a real American (said like George Bush “rill Mercanâ€Â). It is the first time I have had someone deported, and I must admit, living in such a small town, I have been somewhat leery of eating at the Pepper’s Mexican Restaurant since the incident. Jose broke into my house, which is about the only crime that has taken place on this side of the tracks in Port St. Joe in years. He broke into my house after the Taste of the Coast event while Sugar Plum and I were sitting in the living room with all of the lights on, television blaring and dogs barking. He broke into my house not once, but 3 times that evening. Don and I are weapons people, so after we heard him in the kitchen the first time, and after we realized that is was not Little Henry the ghost, we quickly armed ourselves. Since there is no crime in Port St. Joe, the police were here in literally less than a minute. They found Jose with no shoes on out in our dog pin. He had gotten himself in there, and couldn’t figure out how to get out. I went to his first court date, and found out that he can’t speaka da English. His translator entered a plea of “not guilty†which pissed me off royally. Brian from the State’s Attorney’s office called me the next week and told me that he is illegal. Imagine that. So after he serves his 6 months for breaking in my house, he will promptly be deported back to the Mexico where he belongs. I feel good about that. In other news, I had the BEST birthday I have ever had in my life last week…
And with that, the blog entry then goes on about her birthday for another 300 words or so. If that doesn’t qualify as an amazing/terrible tonal shift, I don’t know what does.
• All They Will Call Him is “Deportee” [MySpace via Jokers Updates]
wow that’s quite random! But it’s nice to see what good ol’ Amy has been up to.
Is it wrong that I laughed out loud at “no speaka da English”?
No? Good.
I bet Jose was in search of her queso cache.
Word of advice to Amy- do NOT eat at Pepper’s again. Those rill Mexicans can hold a grudge.
The state AG office is persuing the deportation. With her logic, *I* just sentenced Sir Mario Owens to DEATH here in Colorado last week. Sheesh.
shaking fists in air:
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
godbless american AND NO PLACE ELSE!
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
Maybe we could have Amy deported for having a dog “pin”. Where is PETA when you need them?
She ain’t no real American.
She didn’t shoot him when she had the chance.
hb
I find it rather touching that two uniquely stupid people could be brought together by this random act. As far as his punishment, it’s actually not the worst time to be leaving the USA….
Oh man, I could actually hear her voice when I read that.
I think McCain has found his running mate.
Wow! I’m so shocked that someone would write about a blog that I posted! Actually, the “pin” is a chain link dog run. It is very large, and attached to my lanai… which has a doggy door leading into the house. So in no way are my babies trapped in a “pin”. Also, I believe that America should be occupied by American citizens. If you want to be an American, I believe that you should become a naturalized citizen, not hop the border and invade innocent people’s homes. I have very strong beliefs about illegal immgration, and if you are an American citizen who believes that illegal immigration is okay, then you are an idiot.