When I was away in Europe, Big Brother wrapped up its season, and I just couldn’t let it go to the grave without one last photocap. I know a lot of people really detested this latest go-around, but I loved it. And for the first time in four seasons, I actually was happy with the winner. Here’s to three months well spent. Can’t wait for July…
“I hope I don’t distract these jury deliberations with my hair. It’s very modern, you know.”
“Matty, I am so mad at you that I could be your wife and servant for the rest of your life!!!”
“Yew know wut, Sharon? Yew don’t owe me a quieter top, but ya kinda dew!”
“Don’t you see? There are seven people on the jury, and two finalists, and seven plus two is nine, and nine is the number of lives a cat has, and cats are opposite of dogs, and dogs are man’s best friend, and man was created in the image of God, and so the winner of Big Brother has to be JESUS!!!”
“Yew know wut?? If I want to dress like a Bob Fosse musical, I can because I’m FORTY-SIX YEARS OLD! KNOW THAT!”
“I wonder if I’m really as troublesome as I think I am…”
“What am I thinking? Of course I’m troublesome! TROUBLE’S MY MIDDLE NAME!”
“Yew know wut, Adam? I carried yew, owkay? So yew don’t owe me your spot in the final tew, but ya kinda dew!”
“Ryan, I want to know why when you told me you would beep beep, you then went and boop booped!”
“You know what, Sharon, I really thought that, you know, when I said that, you know, I thought, you know, that things would be, you know, just sort of like, you know, um, you know… you know?”
“You know, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you guys that it’s COOL when you see skin on your cheek below your beard.”
“Adam, you can stop yelling at the screen RIGHT NOW. I’m mad and feel like harping on something random that makes no sense, YOU FUCKING CUNT WHORE ASSHOLE!”
“What am I? A fucking retard? Gabba gabba gabba?”
“Yew know wut? If I have to watch either of these boys win the half million dollars, I would die. Die inside. DIE!!!”
“I don’t believe a word you two are saying. I only believe TROUBLE.”
“Ohhhh… so that’s why the boop beeped the boop bop beep beep.”
“I’m a great juror.”
“Blow jobs for all!”
“Yew know wut, fans? Thank yew! THANK YEW!”
“Wait? You’re announcing the winner tonight? GABBA GABBA!”
“I’m gonna sweat all over my key!”
“My name’s Joshuah, and I couldn’t be more awkward if I tried, you FUCKING CUNT!”
“Did I say Ryan was a racist? Absolutely. Do I even know what that term means? Not at all! So as you can see, it was a harmless mistake.”
“No, Julie. I never said I didn’t like Jen. I just think she’s an awful human being with a black heart and the brain the size of a pea. But other than that, I have no problems with her.”
“FUCK YOU, JULIE CHEN!!!”
“Ryan, you didn’t win, but at least you left this experience with $50,000, a hot girlfriend, and the reputation of a racist.”
“Congratulations, James! You win $25,000 for being the producers’ inexplicable favorite!”
Thank Yew, BSide. I can now die a happy woman!
I love that Janey is ALWAYS there for BB whenever they need her.
Adam spent 90% of the time with one hand down his pants and the other up his nose. Great Winner!
hb
I am SO happy that you did one last photocap. I, too, was actually okay with the winner. If the producers had their way, it would have been James…just like last year’s winner. Ew! Dick! Hate him.
Joshua was his typically bitter, angry self…as was Chelsia. I can’t stand either of them. I thought her haircut was even freshened up for the finale (cut even more severely).
And what was up with Sharon’s outfit?! AWFUL! What a horrific pattern.
Can’t wait for the next season…and photocaps!!
I really hope you do this again fro BB10. All of us at Joker’s Updates waited anxiously for you latest edition. Funny stuff!
Thanks guys — I certainly will be back for BB10. I’ll probably do some other shows in the meantime too. I’m thinking Top Chef at the very least.
If you hadn’t been in Europe, I would have been positive that it was you in the audience with the, “I love Big Sheila. KNOW THAT!” sign.
Also, I would totally love Top Chef recaps.
“Blow jobs for all”-hahahahaa!!!! Soooo funny, thank yew, B-Side!
I so hope you’ll do recaps for BB10, which should start up in only 2 months-yay 🙂
I’d love to see you cap Top Chef. Take a look at Hells Kitchen, too. It’s running right now and they have some of the craziest characters competing. Some of their comments/situations/expressions are priceless and hilarious.
Thanks for giving us some great entertainment. I’ll keep checking your blog to see what goodies you have in store for us.