As is always the case with the Big Brother live eviction episodes, CBS didn’t post the screen caps until Sunday evening, which meant I didn’t get around to doing the photocap until today. Complicating matters was that my Sunday afternoon wound up a bit more booze-fueled than usual. Needless to say, if I had tried to cobble this together last night, the captions may have been mildly nonsensical.
So here’s the latest photocap. I’m now gonna finish last night’s episode. The newest recap will be up later this afternoon. Thanks for your patience!
“Sheila, don’t even worry about it! BEEP BOOP! Seriously!”
“I’m gonna beep the boop out of that BEEP BOOOP BEEEP. Good LORD!”
“I wonder if there’s anything sanctimoniously hypocritical I can do now…”
“Jesus himself told me to eat this burger. He told me SEVEN TIMES!”
“Look at me making fun of Natalie’s weight. Yup, just proving that you CAN play the game nice!”
“Yew know wut, Big Brother? Yew don’t owe us a chaise lounge that seats three people, but ya kinda dew!””
“I wonder if I could draw a misaligned beard on this cup. If I mess up, I always have a second one just in case.”
“Hey look Bro, I just said a full sentence of only prepositional phrases.”
“Yew know wut? If I don’t get any sun block soon, I would die. Die inside. DIE!!!”
“It’s so funny how everything has worked out — you know, with me going on and on about Jesus and simultaneously lying to all sides of the house!”
“Wow, this is so much easier to read right-side-up!”
“Yew know wut? Yew don’t owe me some VO5, but ya kinda dew!”
“If I were to grab yew and choke yew like this, yew would literally die. Die inside. DIE!!!
“Hey bro, is it bad that I never mention my girlfriend? Like ever? I don’t even know her name.”
“That’s okay. I never mention how you’ve all isolated me in this house. Oh wait. I mention that every hour. And speaking of which, I’M ON AN ISLAND!!!”
“Well, I’m getting voted out anyway; so I might as well continue my bitter, angry, quest to take down Natalie after I’m gone. You know, because that’s the NICE thing to do.”
“Yew know wut? Yew don’t owe me a few more pillows, but ya kinda dew.”
“Hi Julie. I made my mohawk look like a giant rose petal. Isn’t that CRAZY??”
“Yew know wut, Julie? Yew don’t owe me an easier question, but ya kinda dew!”
“Yew know wut? If yew ask me about my son again, I’m gonna cry. Cry inside. CRY!!!”
“GOOD LORD! If I go, who’s gonna take care of my fur-rrrriends!!! MY BEEEBIEES!!! BEEP BOOP BEEEP BEEEP!!!!”
“Please vote her out. Please.”
“Um, James? I think it’s a little weird that you cuddle with Chelsea’s severed arm.”
“Yew know wut, cornea? Yew don’t owe me to stop itching, but ya kinda dew! KNOW THAT.”
“Do I scare all of Sharon’s boyfriends away? Why would you say that?”
“Sequestah is wicked awful.”
“Hey Matt, you know why my big toe is bandaged? Because it’s full of too much TROUBLE.”
“Ever since I arrived at the jury house, I’ve felt like maybe my hair isn’t as modern as I had thought.”
“Just kidding. It’s VERY modern!”
“Well look at all these FUCKING JUROR CUNTS, YOU FUCKING WHORE SLUT ASSHOLES!!!”
“And this is why you nevah trust a guy with a pink mohawk.”
“So since the camera is on me, I want to be true to the image I’ve manufactured for myself and say that I am just trying to be nice. Oh, and I’m crazy too; so I’m gonna say something crazy: BANANA PEEL!!! See? That was crazy!”
“Tell me, James. Why were you so awful?”
“I can’t believe you’re asking me questions. This has to be a Big Brother first. You’ve really isolated me, Julie. You’ve put me on an island.”
“Okay, James, let’s listen to what this idiot has to say.”
“I picked the wrong day to eat old tacos.”
“Yew know wut? Yew don’t owe me a little seat, but ya kinda dew!”
“Yew know wut else, CBS? This is just cruel, owkay? I’M FORTY-SIX! FORTY-SIX YEARS OLD!!! KNOW THAT!!”
