Photo via Rickey.org
When I found out that last night’s theme on American Idol was “Songs From Your Birth Year,” I was kind of excited. It looked like maybe, just maybe, we might scratch the ’90s. I know that’s crazy talk — having a show featuring young people, aimed at young people, and watched by young people, actually performing songs less than thirty years old — but it’s kind of what I’d like to hear. Granted, I respect the challenge of taking an old song and making it contemporary, but at a certain point, you’ve gotta wonder how many of these poor kids are gonna be judged by their singing and not their ability to rearrange a tune. And yes, I realize that modernizing something doesn’t require a whole new take, just a fresh performance, but still… it’s getting excessive. I like the funky reinterpretations of Michael Jackson as much as anyone, but ever since Blake Lewis graced the stage, I feel like the singers are going out of their way to outdo each other with the musical shenanigans.
Then again, it’s nice to see these kids challenging themselves. The alternative is clocking in a boring, subpar performance like my dear little Rambutan (a.k.a. Ramiele). Back in the semifinals, she was on a roll, but ever since graduating to the big stage, she’s lost her pint-sized magic. She tried to get it back by belting out the Heart classic, “Alone,” but the sad truth is that this will always be Carrie Underwood’s Idol song. The other sad truth is that Rambutan simply couldn’t pull it off. I don’t know what’s happened to her voice, but it’s been weeks since she hit a proper note. The upside with a traditional rendition of a song is that when it connects, it connects. However, if you don’t, well, it’s a total failure. There are no points for creativity to be had. Rambutan, I hope you get one more chance to redeem yourself, but I fear it’ll be back to the karaoke bars and sushi restaurants for you soon enough.
I’d like to take a moment now to just comment on Paula Abdul. Somewhere between the dressing room and the stage, I fear she may have wandered into a car wash. Her clothes were tattered and strange — like some misguided ode to 1984 Madonna. But you know what? I EMBRACE IT. I feel like it’s been quite some time since Paula’s done anything extraordinarily crazy, and as she’s wont to say, she took that outfit and made it her own (via some scissors, tearing, and possibly a pill-induced haze). I just wanted to squeeze her head off and stick her on my rear view window!
Anyway, after Rambutan, Jason Castro took the stage to sign a neat little ditty. It was another slight, but charming performance from him, and while the judges chided him for being too safe and laid back, I kind of liked it. It’s all part of his schtick. Then again, they do have a point. Every time Jason comes on, I’m happy, but then afterwards, I totally forget him, and on a show where you’ve gotta make an impression on millions of call-in voters, that’s not a great thing. I do hope Jason knocks one out of the park again, if only so we can have a few more weeks of him awkwardly shrugging, pressing his face back, and saying, “I guess…. [goofy smile and giggle]”
I’m not sure who was next. I think it was Syesha, and let me say that her momma Zelda should be proud. Syesha knocked it out of the park with a very sexy, sultry performance of… some song. I didn’t know what it was, but I liked it. And, as Simon later said, she was an example of someone taking an old R&B song and making it seem new — but through performance, not crazy arrangements. Although, considering that I haven’t heard the song before, I’m really in no place to say if it was rearranged or not. I get the feeling like it wasn’t. Anyone know? Anyone?
Well, Syesha put her acting skills to work, being sure to emote properly with the song, but even more importantly, her voice sounded great. I still don’t love her as a personality — she’s a bit too precious — but she is definitely a good singer.
Also doing the R&B thing was Chikezie, and while I thought his performance was pretty good, I had to admit that it seemed a bit strange. One moment he was doing a crazy falsetto, another he was growling, another he was doing the Barry White thing. It almost seemed like a parody. The judges didn’t show much love, with Simon accusing him of being old fashioned again. I still think there’s a lot of potential in Chikezie, and hopefully his hilarious mom and her singing on the pre-performance clip will be enough to keep him around another week.
I think Brooke White was next, but I can’t be sure. It was all getting hazy, thanks to the nonstop barrage of ballads and mellow songs. Keeping in step with her comrades, Brooke got behind the piano and sang the Police’s “Every Breath You Take.” Sigh. Can’t these singers have any fun? The good news is that Brooke, despite a flubbed start, executed another emotional, engaging performance. She doesn’t have the best voice by any means, but she knows how to emotionally connect with her songs (providing there’s no twirling involved). The judges praised her highly, stopping just short of saying words like “brilliant” and “fantastic.” They didn’t like when the band joined the song midway through, but I really didn’t mind. Yeah, her alone at the piano would have been slightly more effective, but then she probably would have risked being called unoriginal. What can you do?
Next up was David Archuleta, and I’m just going to say it: I’m not totally convinced he’s a front runner still. The kid has been steadily losing steam in my book for the past few weeks. Yeah, he has an army of little girls to march him to the finals, but he’s just gotten so… boring. I did not think his performance of “The Long and Winding Road” last week was particularly wonderful, and last night’s strange inspirational tune was really, really bad. Like, objectively bad. First, it was an idiotic song. I’d never heard it before, but it sounded like some awful Christian Radio schlock. It was all about coming together as people and treating each other with respect and blah blah blah. Seriously, how many lofty songs is this kid gonna sing? And out of all the choices from 1990 (!), this was the best? I agree with Simon, who not only compared the whole thing to an amusement park performance with animated characters (and let’s face it: this is most certainly David’s future. At least the animated characters part), but he also blatantly implied that someone was manipulating David’s musical choices — a.k.a. David’s overbearing stage dad who has been rumored to be, you know, PSYCHOTIC. I wouldn’t be surprised if pops was trying to make his son more likable by forcing him to sing worldly songs. As long as Dad’s calling the shots though, might I suggest teaching your son a new dance move other than that patented “waiter serving hors d’oeuvres” move he does with his open palm. Luckily, what David lacked in performance quality tonight, he made up for in cuteness as America collectively “awwwwed” over home videos of him dancing with his sister. Actually, I didn’t coo, but that’s only because I imagined his father in the background yelling, “DANCE, DAVID! YOU MUST BE THE STAR I NEVER WAS!”
At this point, it had been almost an hour, and all we’d heard were slow songs. I think the audience — both at home and in the studio — was dying for a drumbeat. Enter Michael Johns.
THANK GOD.
The Aussie electrified the show with an exxxxcellent rendition of “We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions.” It was the perfect song, and I was thrilled to see him finally get into his zone. He didn’t reinvent the wheel with the song, but he showed confidence, energy, and passion up there. It was the best performance of the night. There’s really nothing more to say about it. He got the longest ovation of the night, and I’ll tell you one thing, if he keeps this up, he’s gonna have to be pushing those sheilahs away!
On the heels of Michael came Carly, who nobly attacked “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” There were like one or two iffy moments, but overall, I really dug her performance. It also was one of the best of the night, and thankfully upbeat too. However, the judges were not so enamored with Carly, saying that something simply didn’t work with the song. I could kind of see what they were talking about, but overall, I’d say they were wrong.
Next came Kristy Lee Cook, the self-professed blowing expert, who sang, as Simon said, a very, very clever song: “God Bless the U.S.” Or whatever it’s called. Yes, Kristy unabashedly pandered to her base, and with stars and stripes behind her, she sang her heart out in the spirit of patriotism, soldiers, and apple freakin’ pie. The hokiness of it all had me alternately rolling my eyes and snickering, but then I realized — hey, she’s doing really well. That’s right, Kristy Lee Cook clocked in a GOOD performance. I was shocked. The audience was shocked. The judges were shocked. It’s always nice to see redemption on Idol, even if it means we’ll be stuck with her another week. Kristy, of course, was positively elated by her reception, and when Simon told her she was very good, she literally jumped around in excitement. It had to have felt great. After all, it’s been six weeks since she’s heard anything more than a reserved, back-handed compliment from anyone. I’ll let her have her moment. Blow us, she did!
The night ended with David Cook, the singer who impresses me greatly every week, and yet, by forces I can’t control, just never excites me. Try as I may, I absolutely cannot drum up any enthusiasm for him. I’m serious — I think it’s the hair.
Anyway, David decided to take on the classic Michael Jackson song, “Billy Jean,” and as he likes to do, he completely changed it all around. Once again, I went through the exact same sequence of emotions. First I groaned. Then I started to get into it. Then I was impressed. Then I was annoyed at myself for not being more open from the outset. And then I told myself, “You know, he’s really good. I should give him more credit.” The truth was that it really was an outstanding performance, mostly thanks to that crazy long note he hit towards the end. Without that, it would have just been really good. I thought the arrangement of the song was interesting and cool, but I wouldn’t say that I loved it. Still, bonus points for creativity. I will say though that all his reinterpretations kind of have the same arc: moody beginning, angst-filled chorus, and then some climactic exorcism of emotion towards the end. It works, but it’s getting a little rote.
What did you think about last night’s show?