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I didn’t get a chance to watch the Top Chef reunion last night, but I did get a chance to see this squirrel, which was so bold as to come up to my front stoop without any fear of human attack. It has spent the past ten minutes licking the bricks, which seems odd, but it’s probably rabid; so who the hell knows what’s going through its mind. Anyway, since I don’t really know what to post today, I contemplated live blogging this squirrel’s brick-licking adventure, but then I thought that might be lame — even for me. So now I’m just uploading this photo for no real reason other than to say that I don’t know what to write about. I guess I can open up the floor to discussion: are squirrels cool? Or do they suck?
DISCUSS.

31 replies on “SQUIRRELS: Yea or Neigh?”

  2. I’m voting that they suck. One once got into my last house through an upstairs fireplace and did over $20K worth of damage, in ONE DAY, to the original woodwork in a nursery that was over 100 years old. It chewed through 6 diamond-paned windows – right down to the glass, ate the mantle, and the top of a built-in hand-carved chest. When I opened the door to see what the noise was – it flew across the room at me, and I fell and broke my tailbone. SQUIRRELS ARE MADE OF EVIL..

  4. Another vote for the suck. Like KCarpenter, I had two turn my entire house upside down. Who knows the trauma they caused my poor cat as he witnessed the destruction! Plus they dig up my yard constantly. Although they are sorta cute…

  5. SUCK!
    One year in college I was plagued by a squirrel. PLAGUED, I tell you! First, it got stuck in the walls of my apartment and woke me every morning for weeks at 5am as it tried to claw its way out.
    Then, it finally managed to break free during the 5 days I was home for Thanksgiving break. In that time, it ate an entire bar of white chocolate I had left out on my kitchen counter and proceeded to GO NUTS on a crazed sugar high in my apartment. From what I could piece together, it tried to drink some water out of the toilet at one point (all that chocolate had to make it thirsty), fell in and proceeded to track muddy, squirrel-germed toilet water all over my apartment. I kept dishes on open shelves, so of course the squirrel spread the mud ALL OVER them (No dishwasher, natch). And my couch. Any my computer keyboard. I swear, I found mud tracks on the ceiling.
    I just thank Jeebus that I’d left a window cracked, because the squirrel ripped a hole in the screen and left before I got home. This story would be 10X worse if that fucker had still been there when I got home.

  6. Squirrels ROCK! I wold have been down for a live blog, especially if it involved you shoving squirrel treats through the mail slot.

  7. Funny you should say that a squirrel “plagued” you… I knew a woman who got bit when feeding the squirrel that her office had befriended. She was concerned that it might be rabid. When she went to get stitched up, she was informed that squirrels don’t carry rabies (whew — what a relief!), but they do carry PLAGUE. Lucky for her this one didn’t.

  8. Squirrels = rats with fluffy tails.
    Besides, there is one that sits on the roof next to my little porch and makes eyes at me. Not cute, cuddly eyes, but rather, “I’m going to rip your face off” eyes.
    SUCK.

  10. Suck. At college, we had kamikaze squirrels. They would crouch in trees and then swoop down onto poor unsuspecting college students trying to get to class. I’m sure they were all up in the trees laughing their little teeny squirrel asses off at us as they terrorized us.

  11. Oy vay the freaking squirrels, they ate a bunch of Tulip and Daffodil bulbs I planted, the rat bastards, and I feed them nuts, they are just greedy little home wrecking rodents
    Look out for the red ones they are totally mean

  16. The squirrel is my sorority mascot, and I happen to work for my sorority. When I first started there was a taxidermy squirrel in my office. He had to go away.

  17. 2 Things that I truly dislike/fear:
    1. Clowns
    2. Squirrels….I call them the soldiers of Satan.
    They ate through a wall once and ran around my apartment. Today, they use my backyard as a race course and make pitstops at my home office window to torment me and my dog.

  19. Suck.
    They eat my avocados, then throw their left overs at my dog. That is, when they are not busy burying things in my potted plants outside.

  21. Suck. Second the “rats with tails” vote (and for the record, pigeons are rats with wings). But worst of all … raccoons. So cute, yet so evil.

  23. I can’t believe the outpouring of hate for squirrels! And I apologize for other commenters because I found their stories of death and destruction cute and amusing.
    I love the squirrels in my neighborhood and I leave fruits and vegetables out for them and they come and grab it when I’m not looking. One ate through a large pumpkin I used for outdoor decoration and chewed up all the seeds inside. SO CUTE!
    They also mock and chase my yorkie all over the place which is also hilarious.

  24. Some of the squirrels in my neighborhood are black, and I think that greatly enhances their cute factor. I always squeal when I see ’em.

  27. Ahgggh my squirrels!!! Dastardly little vermin have the nerve to hop up on my lap and take peanuts from my hand and then chew holes through any/most/all of my possessions; building condos in my walls and hot wiring my car to the tune of thousands of dollars of damage. They aren’t even good at parenting. I’ve had to, on more than one occasion,remove the neglected offspring which have met an untimely demise. If you do love squirrels you gotta check out sugarbush. Google her.

  28. While I do understand the rodent factor of squirrels, I still find them cute. While staying in London some years ago I walked into the courtyard of a small church near my hotel. The squirrels in the yard were used to people feeding them and quite disappointed that I had nothing. The next morning I went to the church again but brought my breakfast toast with me (sans butter & jam). They were very happy to see me and some took the pieces from my hand. But the best part was when one impatient fellow (or girl)climbed my leg as far as my hip and looked at me. I handed him some toast and he climbed down and ran off in glee. I LOVED it. Sorry squirrel haters.

  29. I have free dead squirrel delivery right to my back steps courtesy of my cat. The dog then eats them for lunch. Don’t even have to tip.

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