Wowsahs! The latest episode of Survivor was crazy. We’ve seen medical emergencies before (more so recently), but none as scary as what Russell endured when he blacked out multiple times from dehydration. With his unblinking eyes staring up at the sky, he literally looked dead for a moment. We knew he’d wind up okay, but the drama of the situation (paired with an incredibly urgent score) certainly had me on the edge of my seat. Sure enough, poor Russell was removed from the game, despite his sweet protestations (which still elicited a chuckle from me, if only because of his amazingly high-pitched voice).
Despite Russell’s unexpected ouster, both tribes still had to go to Tribal Council for no other reason than it being on the production schedule. This led to a crammed bench of players — thirteen in all, I believe — airing their grievances on an empty stomach. You see, Russell’s emergency had halted the reward challenge, and in the chaos, Jeff had declared that NO ONE would be getting pizza — a fairly cruel outcome of the situation. Amusingly enough, Jeff Probst now claims that both tribes got to munch on pizza, but it simply wasn’t shown on camera. I suppose we’ll never know.
Either way, things were looking pretty dire for Monica, who was about to be blindsided by the men in her tribe. John, Erik, Dave, and that younger dude with no personality had planned to align with Shambo of all people, citing her good work ethic and benign presence. I clapped like a seal (internally) at this turn of events because anything that keeps Shambo around longer always makes me happy. However, Jeff announced that in the wake of Russell’s departure, there’d be no one else going home this week. DAMNIT! If somehow Shambo falls out of her alliance next week and goes home before Monica, I will be peeved.
As for the other team, Natalie and Liz had resigned themselves to going home before Jeff made the big announcement. This bothered me immensely as there’s nothing more frustrating than watching two players simply accept that they’re on the chopping block. Why didn’t these idiot girls ever THINK to align and partner up with one of the boys? Clearly the men’s strength wasn’t winning Foa Foa any challenges — why not dump one in the meantime? I suppose it’s all moot — for now. Hopefully this reprieve will give at least Liz a moment to rethink her piss-poor strategy.
Photocap after the jump…
Russell: “I just farted on a guppy.”
Russell: “It was part of my Dumbass Guppy alliance.”
Russell: “Any guppy that comes after me has gotta go. Got to go!”
Jaison: “I’m cold. NNNGGGGGHHHH.”
“Of course I’m cold. Even Dr. MICK TRIMMING isn’t impervious to the elements. Although… I should be.”
“Just another day of fishin’ and not drinkin’ water!”
“With any luck, I’ll catch a BIG EYED FISH. Dave Matthews? Busted Stuff album? Anyone? Anyone? Shambo on sax!”
“I’m thinking that if I don’t drink any water today and exhaust myself, I should be pretty ready for the reward challenge.”
“Well, the sun’s out. Now where are the kiddies?”
Erik: “I swear, Mr. Weather Man, your sunshine is absolutely lovely. Why, it takes my very breath away! I think I’m coming down with the vapors!”
John: “I reckon that I too am coming down the vapors. Would someone be ever so kind and bring me a mint julep? Where is the Colonel?”
Russell: “And… all.. the… little… ants… are marching… red and black and.. oh man. Where am I?”
Russell: “This kind of reminds me of a song by the Dave Matthews Band.”
John: “Yeah, yeah, we know. C’mon, Russell.”
“‘Where are you going? La da dee da daaa…’ Anyone? Anyone?”
“Sudden blindness. Not even I, Dr. MICK TRIMMING, can explain this.”
Jeff: “You’re wearing a blindfold.”
“I knew that.”
“I’m just gonna rest my head right here and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… Funny The Way It Is zzzzzzzz…..”
“Shambo… on… flute…”
“Look at that jackass — falling asleep during MY challenge! That’s not the way we do things on Surv — oh wait. I think he’s dead.”
“I’m good, Jeff. I’m good. I’m just gonna lay down. Like a lover. Hey, that reminds me of a song. ‘Oh, please lover lay down! Spend this time with me. Together share this zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….”
Jeff: “Russell, you stay right there.”
Russell: “Oh good because I know how to STAY STAY STAY STAY STAY FOR A WHILE! Shambo on violin!”
“He’s not doing well. I can see this clearly, despite my oversized Lady Shades.”
“Okay guys: here’s the deal. NO PIZZA FOR ANYONE. As we see here from Russell, you all are clearly too nourished.”
“I’m just a little dehydrated, Jeff. Honestly, it’s a TYPICAL SITUATION IN THESE TYPICAL TIMES! Anyone? Anyone? Dr. Ramona on sax!”
“I eat too much. I drink too much. I want too much. TOO MUUUCHH!!!!”
Dr. Ramona: “What’s he doing?”
Jeff: “He thinks he’s in Dave Matthews Band.”
Russell: “Take it to the bridge, Jeff!”
“See? I’m good. I’m good. Let’s go. HONEY HONEY, COME AND DANCE WITH zzzzzzzz z zzzzzzzz z zz….”
“The Space… Between… The Tears We… zzzzzzzzzzzzz….”
“I see a white light. LeRoi? Is that you?”
“Russell, I know it’s hard for you to hear this, but you have to leave the game. It’s a shame because you played hard, you pushed yourself to the limit, you were on the dominant tribe, and quite frankly, you probably could have won it all. Oh well! Why are you crying?”
“I can’t wait to wake up and WHINE.”
“So who you guys going to vote out tonight?”
“Well, I’m not going to say, but if I were you, I’d be feeling good.”
“So does that mean I’m safe?”
“Let’s just say, you’re not unsafe.”
“So… I shouldn’t be worried.”
“Let’s just say the person whose name I’m writing down is not yours.”
“So I’m not gonna be voted out?”
“Let’s just say, the name I’m writing down starts with M and ends with -onica.”
“So… everything is good?”
“DAMMIT, SHAMBO. How much clearer do I have to be??”
“Yes, let’s definitely keep this on the down low, and we’ll do so by performing an extravagant, attention-seeking gesture!”
“This situation is OUT OF MY HANDS now; so I guess it’s the LAST STOP. Oh, and BARTENDER please, pour some water for me. Because RECENTLY I’ve been dehydrated. And now it’s time to SAY GOODBYYYYYE!!!! Anyone? Anyone? Shambo on sa– zzzzzzzz…”
What did you think about the episode?
Loved the convo between Shambo and Erik! I was rolling.
The boy with no personality is Brett the Beardless Wonder. That child has not sprung a single hair this entire time and its becoming mildly disturbing to me. Is he really a seven year-old?
This was perfection. Made me laugh too loud in a quiet office. But the “LeRoi? Is that you?” brought tears to my eyes. Thanks!
I wish I hadn’t heard so much about this episode before it aired, but it was still good tv. I thought it was a bit disturbing that Jeff didn’t slip out of “host” mode even when he thought Russell was a goner. It was just bizarre. I half expected to hear, “and our medic confirms that Russell has moved on to the great beyond, a huge loss for Galu, which is now down to 5 members and will not get a pizza reward tonight before it faces the tribal counsel where someone will be eliminated.”
Maybe because I knew Russell was ok that it didn’t scare me half as much as when Michael burned his hands.
Shambo’s hair just keeps getting bigger and bigger. It reminds me of Miss.Jay on ANTM when he wears bigger and bigger sleeves or collar each week.
Probst is still an ass.
hb
Have you read Jeff Probst’s blog about this episode?
http://popwatch.ew.com/2009/10/23/jeff-probst-blogs-survivor-samoa-episode-6/
I’m going to miss Russell, if only because we won’t get any more requests for Shambo on various instruments.
As for Brett, the invisible cast member, he’s from Salem, Oregon, I believe. They had a feature on him on the local news, and announced him as, “Brett, a survivor from Samoa.” My friends and I all assumed that he had survived the recent tsunami there, because none of us recognized him from Survivor, even though the promo appeared in the middle of the episode. His forgettability is legendary.
Brett is why I’m getting numbers in the Survivor pool this time. I keep saying that he will get no discussion time and I get points every week for it. I love me some Brett.
“Probst is still an ass.” Totally agree, can’t stand that fucker.
That’s really all I have to say – thank you for the opportunity.
This was a hilarious photocap, B, but I gotta give some serious points to jennifer30307 with her faux Probst commentary. That was awesome. “A huge loss for Galau.” LOLOLOL!!