Usually I start my Big Brother photocaps complaining about the lack of screen grabs on the CBS website. Today, however, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I pulled the screencaps myself. Sure, it added an extra twenty or twenty-five minutes to the process, but it had to be done. Of course, now I’m exhausted from the process and can’t deal with writing any sort of recap from last night. Maybe Lydia’s hipster ennui has infected me. Nevertheless, what’s the point of analyzing any of the goings-on when it looks like Jeff is gonna shake things up tomorrow with his “wizard power,” a.k.a. the Coup D’Etat, a.k.a. the Coop Deh Tat. Hopefully by this time tomorrow, Jessie (and perhaps Natalie too) will be up on the block, with one of them heading out the door. That, of course, will completely drive Chima nuts, and that’s always fun to watch. She’ll probably go off on Jeff and then Russell, who in turn will go off on Michele yet again. Side note about Russell and Michele: why can’t these idiots stop for a moment and even consider the possibility that they may have heard each other incorrectly or misspoke by accident. They’ve been fighting for like thirty episodes about semantics. They even know they’re fighting about semantics, but neither of them realizes how silly it is. UGH. I like them both. I wish they’d just shut up and get it together. To quote Todd Rundgren, who is coincidentally playing on my iTunes at this very moment, “Let’s admit we made a mistake, but can we still be friends???” There’s lots to learn from cheesy ’70s music, people. LOTS.
Anyway, after the jump, a full-on photocap for your viewing pleasure…
“Hahahaha, my motherfuckin’ nominations are so motherfuckin’ good, motherfucker!”
“This challenge is more stressful than the SATs… WHICH I JUST TOOK.”
“Listen, Jeff totally has the wizard power. You can’t pull a fast one like that on me. I’ve been around long enough to know when people are scamming me. I mean, I HAVEN’T been around long enough to know when people are scamming me. I’m an impressionable teenager. I don’t know anything. What’s a wizard? I’M SO YOUNG AND NAIVE!”
“Ugh. I’m so over this couch. I hate couches.”
“Look at me with this pool cue. Hey, that’s a good nickname. Shotgun Pool Cue Russell the Love Muscle!”
“God, my armpit is so shredded. But I do wonder if anyone cares that I’m using Lady Speedstick.”
“Here I am just sittin’ on a crate. Hey, that’s a good nickname. Shotgun Crate-sitter Russell the Love Muscle.”
“All these eggs make me want to have an egg sandwich — just like the kind they served at my high school cafeteria… WHICH I used to go to as recently as two months ago, on account of me being eighteen and a recent high school graduate, WHICH I AM.”
“Look at me. I’m a regular Shotgun Cluck Cluck Russell the Love Muscle.”
“Wow. Who would have thought this egg would have more personality than me?”
“UGH. I can’t wait to hunch over and scowl at this egg.”
“Ahhh… that’s better.”
“UGH. I’m so over hunching and scowling.”
“Hey motherfucker, why don’t you be quiet and stop being a motherfucker! Now where the hell is my motherfucking peanut butter, you motherfuckers???”
“Oh SURE! I’M the terrorist! How convenient! Why don’t you just call me SHOTGUN TERRORIST RUSSELL THE LOVE MUSCLE???”
“How about I call you SHOTGUN MOTHERFUCKER RUSSELL THE MOTHERFUCKER LOVE MOTHERFUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER!!!“
“So why was I the only one to dress up for Fertile Crescent Day?”
“Kevin, what will it take for you to use the veto on me? A blowjob? Because I’ll do it. You might be gay, but I can work around that. Heck, did you see what I did with Jessie?”
“Time to take it easy. That’s why they call me Shotgun The Recliner Russell the Love Muscle.”
“Looks like my days might be numbered. The last stand for Shotgun Numbered Days The Recliner Cluck Cluck Terrorist Crate-Sitter Pool Cue Russell the Love Muscle.”
“How nice that Sugar Bear is going to use the veto on me…”
“Damn. I should have tried harder for that BJ.”
“UGH. I’m so over this. I wish I were at a kitschy store full of vintage staplers.”
What did you think of the episode? What about Chima’s “terrorist” comments? And should Kevin have used the veto on his friend?
This photo recap was your best. You should always pull screencaps on your own. You top CBS any day of the week!!! I love all of Russell’s nicknames! Perfect!
I’m still trying to decide which comment was funnier: Lady Speedstick or Fertile Crescent.
CACKLE!
omg that was so funny! thanks for the screencaps they were fantastic!!
Just watched this episode – man oh man, that egg challenge was the slowest, most boring thing I’ve ever witnessed. I’m just glad we didn’t have to see it in real time. Whenever they cut to people watching/hosting, they looked like they were praying for death.
I completely agree with your thoughts on Michelle/Russell. Get it together, guys!
AWWW, B-Side! Can we still be friends?! TR is a long-time fav of mine, and I’m talkin’ waaaay back in his Nazz days (Under the Ice is freakin’ INCREDIBLE). Wait! Are you also a Tim Buckley (and Jeff Buckley) fan? I have ALWAYS felt some brother-love wit’ choo, babe! Now back to reading the ‘cap.
I agree that this challenge was so for the hens. Thank God, I say, for DVRs and the quadruple fast-forward option. I can reduce a supposed 59-minute epi down to a blazin’ 22.3 minutes. hey, speaking of which, have youse guys noticed that BB has been ending after as little as 54 minutes per episode? What is UP with that?
Yay! You should always do your own screen caps. Those were awesome.
Re: the terrorist comments, AND I GUESS THIS IS A BIT OF A SPOILER FOR THOSE WHO DON’T KEEP UP WITH THE FEEDS SO STOP READING NOW I MEAN IT NOW, they were shown completely out of context. Chima had been calling Russell a terrorist for days, referring to his Middle Eastern descent. It was only when the others pointed out that her comments were racist that she first said she did not care. Then Kevin gave her the idea that she could just say he was terrorizing the house. She meant the statements in a racist way and BB producers are assholes for letting her off the hook by editing it to appear that she had no racist intent. They should have just not aired the comments if they were not going to edit them truthfully.
That was great!
CBS should hire you to do their screen grabs.
If the rumors are true that the live show was moved to an earlier taping because chima threatened to curse all the way through it, I guarantee she will no longer receive a friendly edit.
Chima has done nothing BUT threaten. She has yelled at bb about how unfair the CDT is “why am I even here? why even have an HoH?” She has threatened to go crazy if The Wizard takes her nominees off the bloc.
I can understand why bb is being cautious but bummershitski for those of us who have been craving this event since jeff won the power.
hb
You’re good, you!
This was hilarious. My favorite:
“UGH. I can’t wait to hunch over and scowl at this egg.”
SO GOOD. I laughed out loud. Perfectly Lydia.
Sucks about the show not being “live”….but I trust b-side will have an awesome recap up in a timely fashion.
If everything goes according to the plan, this will be your second time seeing Jessie evicted. Right? AWESOME.
That Todd Rundgen song is awesome, and I say that because I sing it quite okay on the karaoke.
But curse Chima and her bitchy ways.
That was great!
Thank you, B-side. Very funny post. SO excited that you will be at the live taping and cannot wait to hear how everything goes down.
“If the rumors are true that the live show was moved to an earlier taping because chima threatened to curse all the way through it, I guarantee she will no longer receive a friendly edit.” Posted by b-side on August 12, 2009 5:07 PM | Comment 9 of 16
Hmmm… hadn’t thought of that, but one can only hope. She needs to be exposed for the racist, bigoted, misandrist (new word alert) she is.
Freaking brilliant!!! ROFL!!! Thoroughly enjoyed it ALL! 🙂
[b]Shotgun Numbered Days The Recliner Cluck Cluck Terrorist Crate-Sitter Pool Cue Russell the Love Muscle[/b]
OMG hilarious! 🙂
Awww. I have a soft spot for Todd Rundgren. And now I have that song stuck in my head which is FINE!
I’m fearing we will all be let down tonight. It’s sad how much I care.
Hello, it’s me. I’ve thought about this recap for a long, long time. It is totally worth the wait for you to pull the screen grabs. A masterful post. Can’t decide which is my favorite, Russell’s moninkers or Lydia’s scowling. All brilliant!
Shanti- NICE!
I think my fav pics were the two where Lydia’s tat is playing peek-a-boo through her keyhole blouse. Still can’t believe that Lydia was Paul McCartney and Heather Mills’ nanny. That may explain all the sour looks on Heather’s face…
“Fertile Crescent” made me cry I was laughing so hard.