I was bored today; so I decided to have some fun. What would happen if The Real Housewives headed into the many worlds of Super Mario Bros.?
Pics after the jump…
“BAM! Mushroom kingdom.”
“Goomba, you need to chill out, okay? You’re being completely inappropriate.”
“Throwing hammers and fire? That’s just tacky. No, you know what that is? DÉCLASSÉ! It’s very déclassé!”
“There’s a tiiiightrope / between me and Birdo…”
“Congratulations on finishing the level Mario. You get a Land Rover!”
“This room needs some work. BAAAWWWBBY!!! Get BRAAAD. We need to get some ZAAARIN FAAAABRICS to MAAAARIO!”
“Look out, Mario. Those fire sticks are hot. Like me. Because I’m the HOT housewife. It’s like you’re about to run into a big stick of ME.”
“I love this ocean, mainly because it’s filled with MONEY!”
“Stand back, Mario. It’s MINE!”
“LET ME TELL YOU A SOMETHING ABOUT FLYING FISH: they’re as thick as thieves, and they defend each other ’til the end!”
“This is a nice warp zone and all, but I would never take Johann and François here. They’re accustomed to St. Barts warp zones. This might traumatize them.”
“Goomba… just stop. Stop. Stop. STOP. Stop, Goomba. Stop.”
“Look at that fat, fire-spewing lizard monster over there. And I’m not talking about Danielle.”
“I heard that. And now I have spoken proof that you just called me a fire lizard at Chateau.”
“Be quiet. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!”
Jill: “That was wrawng. Princess Peach shouldn’t have killed Birdo.”
“So she was just supposed to stand there and take it?”
“There are better ways to handle a situation.”
“A lizard throws eggs at you, and you do nothing?”
“Well, if it was throwing eggs at Aaaalllie, that would have been different. I would have told Bawwwwbby to get the security guard.”
“So you do condone violence.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth, Bethenny.”
“Listen to this one, a regular yenta.”
“So wrawng that I’m a yenta?”
“It’s fine!”
“You only live once.”
“That’s why I wrote my new book, The Skinny Girl’s Guide To Living Once and Killing Birdo.
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Okay, quiet before you make me cry.”
“But it’s the truth.”
“Shh.”
“WELL LET ME TELL YOU, MARIO. You might be all happy that you have Yoshi now, but sooner or later, you’re gonna get too fat and ugly, and he’ll just run away like dinosaurs always do.”
“BRRR!! It’s cold in here. Does this world have air conditioning?”
“I’ll just say it: Princess Peach needs some bubbies.”
“Goomba, I’m here, and you’re there, okay?”
“Mmmmhmmmm… Mario had better be giving me those coins because I refuse to stop living the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed.”
“Incidentally, Mario is wearing my signature plumber fashion line, Mario By Marayay.”
“What the hell is with this castle anyways? There’s no marble or onyx or even lip gloss!”
“I mean, A CASTLE WITH NO MARBLE?????!?!?!?!?”
“PROSTITUTION WHOOO-AAAARRR!!!!”
“BAM! It’s an urgent star!”
“WELL, he’s certainly no GENTLEMAN.”
“Look at what just popped out of my Love Tank!”
“Looks like someone’s trying to steal Mario’s joory.”
Tamra: “I want to be Mario. He’s HOT.”
Gretchen: “Oh, I already picked him.”
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, GRETCHEN, STOP TRYING TO BE ME!!!! YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING MARTYR!!!!”
“BAM! Surprise twist!”
“That’s tacky. That’s a tacky thing to do. If I say I’m gonna be somewhere, I’m gonna be there.”
“Maybe she went to a better castle. A castle made of MONEY!”
“WELL LET ME TELL YOU: in life, there’s no such thing as a happy ending ANYWAY!”
“I read in a book that Danielle abducted the Princess.”
“There are only TWO truths in that book: name change, and I fucked Luigi. PAY ATTENTION, PUH-LEASE!”
“I am paying attention, but every time we go to a castle, you’re there, and the princess isn’t, no matter how cleansy the place is!”
“I mean, nineteen castles? NINETEEN CASTLES WITH NO PRINCESS????”
“YOU PROSTITUTION WHOO-AAAR!!!”
“WHAT YOU DID, DANIELLE — YOU ARE GARBAGE!”
“Fighting? In front of Toad? AT BOWSER’S CASTLE? Not at Bowser’s castle!! NEVER at Bowser’s castle!!!!”
“Hey guys? I think I’m in the wrong place.”
LOVE IT!!!! Another awesome blog. Superfun!
Amazing. Teresa’s appearences are the best!!
I have always been a huge fan of this blog, and this is by far one of the funniest posts. Thank you for a much needed laugh today.
That is so funny! I don’t know how you do it, but keep doing it!
“This is a nice warp zone and all, but I would never take Johann and François here. They’re accustomed to St. Barts warp zones. This might traumatize them.”
“PROSTITUTION WHOOO-AAAARRR!!!!”
HAHA, B-side you should get bored more often.
haha and that woman from the OC, I forgot her name, in Zelda? Priceless
You’re so silly, B. I love it! My fave were the flying fish and the ocean of money!
KOOPA 4-EVA.
hil-ar-ious you are a genious i lol’s with the pics of Teresa
Kadoos, B-side! That’s was great, and definitely what I needed this morning.
I LOVED it. You got all of them spot on. The only thing is that DeShawn Snow owned the word “joory” not Lisa.