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I didn’t really know what to write about this afternoon; so I thought I’d maybe whine for a little bit since I seem to do that well, and it’s been a while since I’d bitched about anything in particular. Back in the early days of this blog when I was under a non-compete with TVgasm, I wasn’t allowed to write about TV; so I spent a good amount of blog real estate telling tales of gross people at the gym or embarrassing gaffes whilst attempting to exit a parking garage.

I don’t really have any good stories on that front, but I did realize at some point this afternoon that I have a few things that have been annoying me today, and why not air them out in public? It is the blogger way, after all.1. Baby Updates On Facebook
This is sort of like a perennial issue for me. It’s almost silly to complain about it. Baby updates are just part of the Facebook fabric at this point, and I’ve grown largely numb to the various declarations of “12 weeks!” and “40 weeks!” and “40 and a half weeks!” that litter my feed. I appreciate the sheer joy that must come from being a parent, and so in my head I know I really can’t fault the enthusiastic shutterbugs who want to share a slice of their life with all of us.

That being said, these baby updates are out of control. A cute pic is one thing, but a pic just for the sake of posting a pic? Enough. I understand that we’ll never be able to fully eradicate baby updates — it’s like asking for rain to disappear forever. However, in my life I’ve moved to a generally rain-free region (full disclosure: it looks like it’s going to rain today), and so I have a perhaps unfounded belief that if I can minimize the precipitation in my life, I can somehow reduce the sheer amount of baby clutter in my Facebook feed.

*I’d also like to take this moment to applaud those good parents who keep it tasteful and only post baby stuff when it has a broader appeal than for just themselves.

2. Adam Levine
Why does Adam Levine annoy me so much? He just seems like a cocky bastard, that’s why. Admittedly, I base that on very little. So Adam, if you’re reading this, I am fully aware that I’m just being cranky. You are, however, the target of my wrath today, and I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way about you. So… just think about it.

3. Jason Sudeikis’s Growly Loud Voice
A lot of people love Jason Sudeikis. I don’t really get it. He’s perfectly fine as a straightman on SNL, but when he tries to be the funny one, he almost always fails in my book. Why? Because he inevitably resorts to his loud, growly voice, which is about as annoying as, well, any voice that Kenan Thompson does. No, it’s worse. He seems to equate volume with hilarity, and I can assure you that’s not a correlation that always works. I’m ready for him (and Kenan) to make their graceful exits off the show.

4. My Cold
WTF I have another cold. I just got one in September, and it left me with a residual cough that was finally all but gone. Just when I’m ready to put my life back together (it had been shattered, SHATTERED by the cold), in comes another one. Is that allowed? Don’t germs know there is like a four month minimum grace period that we should be afforded from cold to cold? And as for you, immune system. Don’t think you’re off the hook. Did you learn NOTHING from the last cold? I thought you’d be able to fend off all other colds for the season. Not fair. Not fair at all.

5. Episode Two of Revenge is only on Hulu Plus
I finally decided to check out Revenge this week while lying in bed with my aforementioned cold. I found the pilot episode on ABC.com, and I enjoyed it. Did it blow me away? No. Was I instantly addicted? No. But was I ready to take on episode 2? Most certainly. One problem: it’s only available at a premium. All the other episodes are free, but episode 2? NOPE. How the HELL am I supposed to get addicted? I guess I could buy the show off of iTunes, but then I’m stuck with an episode of a show I’m not even sure I like. The other option is to just download it illegally off of BitTorrent, but that will take a while, and HEAVENS, I would never do anything illegal. Then there is the third option: drop this wild goose chase and play around on Facebook. Oh, but those baby updates! UGH. You have ruined my wallowing, ABC!

6. Someone has got to change the Barefoot Contessa background music.
I meant to include this in my recent list of things that must change on Barefoot Contessa, but I forgot. Nevertheless, I still feel the need to harp on this issue. You see, among the other problems with BC these days (pretend I didn’t just call it BC) is that the producers have found some new public domain background music. Great. The only catch is that it’s the sort of background music that other shows play when they don’t want to pay for premium licensed content. You know what I’m talking about: let’s say a reality show wishes to play some sad song by Adele. Well, rather than pay for said sad Adele song, they might just use a bit of public domain music that sounds very similar to but is legally NOT a sad Adele song. I don’t know why I’m using Adele as an example, but that’s just how it is today.

Nevertheless, the producers on Barefoot Contessa have unwittingly begun using two rip-off tracks. One is a pseudo Florence and the Machine ditty that sounds just like “Dog Days Are Over.” It’s a little distracting but not a problem unto itself. The second track, however, is a bit concerning. Yes, the producers have recently taken a liking to playing a fake version of “Fuck You” by Cee Lo Green, which at once is pretty hilarious but also highly distracting. I mean, maybe it’s me, but I have a hard time focusing on a cheerful, smiling Ina Garten making a feta salad while “FUCK YOU” lingers in the background. Seems counter-intuitive.

7. Top Chef should just be Top Chef on the DVR
It’s rare that I would say this, but Bravo needs to take a page from MTV. Once or twice a year, the Real World/Road Rules Challenge returns to the airwaves, usually under a different name like The Duel or The Inferno or The STD Swap, but every season, MTV classifies the show as merely The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, which ensures that my DVR catches it every time.

Bravo, however, has gotten cute with Top Chef, listing it as Top Chef: Texas this season. Prior to that, it was Top Chef: All Stars and Top Chef: DC and Top Chef: Las Vegas. It’s understandable given that those were the names of all the respective seasons. However, I’ve had to manually set my DVR each time. That means I have to go in, find the show, sign up for a season pass, and then go to my program manager, re-sort it to place the new Top Chef where the old one was, then erase the old one, and then keep my fingers crossed that everything works out alright. Never mind that this usually happens directly after the season premiere every season, which I have undoubtedly missed because I’ve forgotten that just because I DVR Top Chef in general doesn’t mean that my DVR is set to record the NEW Top Chef. Jackhole of the week? Whoever is behind this cruel game.

Consider this rant over. What’s annoying you today?

22 replies on “Seven Things That Are Annoying Me Today”

  1. Totally agree re: Adam Levine. Way too cocky and annoying for the cheesy music he makes. I also find Jason’s voice unnecessarily growly, loud and shouting-like. A little to salt of the earth for my taste. Plus, I’m having a hard time disassociating him from poor hook up choices (how can you play Liz Lemon, the most wonderful woman on TV’s love interest and then get with Betty Draper in real lie. January Jones. Also annoying). Anyway, feel better.

  2. I’m totally with you on the Top Chef thing. Thankfully, they run enough promos that I usually remember to check to see if it’s already in my DVR queue. But still, I shouldn’t have to do that. I seem to remember that The Amazing Race used to do that too, but thankfully they haven’t been lately.

    Speaking of which, the thing that’s annoying me today: I remember when B-Side used to do these hilarious recaps of The Amazing Race. I used to read them on tvgasm, and then read them here. But last season went by with only two recaps. And nary a mention so far this season. This makes me sad more than it annoys me, but there you have it.

  3. bside i agree with everything you said, i was sick two weeks again, like bedridden and now i am sick again!!!
    also, the other thing that bugs me about fb statuses is when people, depressing stuff everyday just to get comments. or when they vague book so just people ask questions and they get hella comments.

  4. The FX network is #1 by a landslide on my list. I have found myself addicted to American Horror Story and Sons of Anarchy. FX will not post a week’s episode online until the newest episode has aired. This means that if you miss 1 week, you are behind 1 week for the rest of the season. Yes, I understand they air it at least once before the new one airs, but still. I’d like to watch it at my convenience FX- not when you say I can! Plus, wouldn’t they want to let you catch up as easily as possible so you will watch the new ep when it airs, thus, contributing to ratings? (rant over) AHS has dark humor, a chills up spine factor, and forbidden romance all wrapped up in one. I love it!

    1. AHS is my new favorite show. I’m intrigued by Tate. There, it’s out there — I dig the sensitive yet homicidal and delusional ghost.

      You can catch the old AHS episodes (and probably Sons of Anarchy, too) at http://www.megashare.com/info. I don’t know how early they show up, but they’re definitely there every Thursday morning.

  5. I don’t understand Adam Levine’s appeal. He’s not very good looking and other than a couple of okay hit songs and that he boned Jessica Simpson for about a minute, he’s pretty much a nobody.

    I’m a little miffed that there’s no latest Survivor recap. :sigh:

  6. Episode Two from Revenge is important for a few reasons: You find out that Little Amanda got Sammie, the dog, for her 9th birthday. So Jack’s dog, Sammie, is one and the same. Also, Nolan does his first dirty work, but doesn’t even know it. Emily ruins her dad’s best friend by pretending to have some insider trading info; he uses it and gets found out by the feds. Check televisionwithoutpity.com for the full recap.

  7. I am ashamed by how much I am loving Revenge. It’s SO BAD, yet so amazing at the same time. Could they have found a worse actress to play Emily? I was one of the 0.4 people who was watching Playboy Club, so was upset when that got cancelled after like 3 episodes!

    I totally agree with what pb said about vaguebooking and sob story statuses. The more I think about it, the more most things about Facebook annoy me now. I hardly use it anymore. I miss FB circa 2005.

    I really despise people who are going straight/making a left at a stop sign or light and DON’T PULL UP ENOUGH FOR YOU TO GET UP THERE AND TAKE A RIGHT. But I have residual road rage issues from when I used to commute 3 hours/day so I have a lot of pet peeves about driving…and of course, I’m the only one on the road who knows what I’m doing 😉

  9. log me as another that misses your oh-so-hilarious Amazing Race recaps…figured it was somesort of an end-of-era thing since (as mentioned) the Survivor ones are sporadic…and probably you grow weary of these shows that have been around a decade 🙂

  14. Facebook baby updates don’t bother me half as much as the, “Hey, my kid just pooped in the toilet!” or “I can’t believe that my baby girl just got her first period. :*(” status updates that come across my feed. And yeah…those actually happened.

    @hemwilli — “American Horror Story” = AWESOMENESS.

  15. I enjoy Revenge- it is by no means quality but it is FUN. Worth hunting down legally or otherwise lol.

    I am SO on the DVR page with you, specific to Top Chef because I just happened to miss the 2nd episode because of that. How/why my DVR recorded the 1st episode but then decided to ignore all others is beyond me. I was able to re-set the damn thing for TEXAS and carry on but still. I think Bravo likes your DVR to just be dominated by them because I have like 6 spots just for Housewives… I hope no one ever comes over and looks at my DVR timers.

  16. The thing that bothers me most about Facebook are the people who insist on treating it like Twitter. I signed up for Twitter, had a few people start following me, but realized it was kinda pointless, so I haven’t been back in years. I still get e-mails that tell me new people are following me, but I have no clue what they are following since I maybe have one post on there…

  18. The thing I find most annoying about Adam Levine is that he assumes everyone knows who he is. Just because you’ve gotten a couple tunes on the charts does not make you a cultural icon, pal. From what little I watched of The Voice last season he was insufferable.

    1. He was absolutely obnoxious on the Voice. His arrogance is a turn off. So is his little stick body.

  19. 1. People who don’t pick up after their dogs in parks and common areas.
    2. Those trashy no-talent Osbourne bullies – the whole lot of ’em.

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