When Bethenny Frankel left The Real Housewives of New York City, it was certainly a loss to the show, but people acted like it could never recover. Well, they’re wrong. The season premiere of RHONYC proved that everything is just fine. We still have the crazy, we still have the drama, and quite frankly, after sitting through Miami and what has proven to be a rather dull season of Orange County, I could not be happier to have the varsity gals of NYC back on TV.Truth be told, when it comes to The Real Housewives, there’s New York, Beverly Hills, and everyone else. Sure Atlanta and New Jersey can bring the craziness, but it tends to come in streaks. Same with Orange County (which used to be upper echelon but has since fallen). As for Miami and DC, well, let’s just say they’re at the bottom of the ladder (poor DC just got officially cancelled this morning).
Why am I ranking the different installments of the franchise? I don’t really know. I think I’m just so excited to have the power players back. New York City has that special “it” quality that is hard to pinpoint. Maybe it’s that the show features smart women doing stupid things, as opposed to Orange County, which just has stupid women doing stupid things.
Nevertheless, not a whole lot happened in the season premiere, and yet I hung on every word. People sometimes forget that even without Bethenny, this cast is full of big personalities: polarizing Jill, outspoken Ramona (a gem unto herself), crazy Kelly, foxy Sonja, haughty LuAnn, and this season’s breakout problem child Alex 2.0.
Yes, Alex continues to be on a rampage, and it’s pretty hilarious / awkward. Every time she wafts into the group of women, I never know what she’s going to say or how she’s going to explode. Seeing her down champagne at an art gallery had me fearful that she was going to grab Jill by the hair and slam her face into a bucket of paint water.
Alex’s whole thing is that she’s not going to let Jill squirm her way in and out of situations. And when I say situations, I mean any and ALL situations. Alex started up a bickering match late in the episode where she questioned Jill on something or another pertaining logistics for a wedding they were attending. I couldn’t really follow it, and I also couldn’t help but think it was the most idiotic fight ever. Alex was definitely ready to throw down, but in Jill’s defense, she didn’t buy into it and managed to stay calm through it all.
This isn’t to say that Jill is innocent in anything. After having told us several times that she can’t help but being nice to people, we then watched her cut down Alex and Ramona from afar for wearing cream-colored dresses to a wedding. This also earned a big “Who cares?” from the audience, and perhaps fortified the notion that these women have just a bit too much time on their hands.
Stuck in between the two ladies was Ramona, who was just as batty as always. She did four remarkable things this episode.
1) She revealed her new wine, simply named “Ramona,” and yes I will be seeking out a bottle POSTHASTE.
2) She assented to having her hair blown-out like a palm tree for her interviews, thus making her look crazier than ever.
3) She conducted the most harrowing and ridiculous job interviews of all time. She needs to be on the next Celebrity Apprentice.
4) And lastly, she got caught talking about Cindy Barshop’s brother while he stood directly behind her. It was a classssssic Ramoner moment, and it made me ever so happy to have these ladies back in my life.
As for Cindy Barshop, she’s the new broad in town, and so far I like her. She seems pretty direct and fun, even if she is “downtown.” Still not sure that’s a “thing” in New York City, but hey, if it causes drama, I’m all for it.
Cindy’s whole thing is that she runs spas, and she has a set of twins thanks to a turkey baster (a.k.a. in vitro fertilization). I mention this only because I really dig the high chairs she plops her kids in.
The rest of the ladies were pretty tame last night. Kelly kept her crazy to herself, and LuAnn and Sonja went on a double date with their new men, an amiable scene that afforded us the pleasure of watching LuAnn bust out her French for a waiter. Gotta love / hate her. Mostly love.
Here’s the photocap:
Alex: “Wow! Your own wine! This looks fantastic! I can’t wait to BREAK THIS BOTTLE OVER JILL ZARIN’S HEAD!!!!”
Jill: “I don’t know why Alex doesn’t like me. All I can be is nice to her. I can’t help it. I’m a nice person. BUT IF THAT BITCH WEARS CREAM TO THE WEDDING THIS WEEKEND…”
“I’m not sad. My Spanks are just really hurting.”
“Al Sharpton over here has to really calm down.”
“Hullo. Tea is here.”
“Tea? TEA????? THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE HOME OFFICE BEHAVIOR!!”
Cindy: “So should I be scared to be entering your ranks?”
Sonja: “Let me ask you this: do you have a taste for luxury? And does luxury have a taste for you?”
“I don’t know what that means.”
Ramona: “Do you feel renewed?”
“No. Not really.”
Sonja: “You’re a goner.”
“The power of Christ compels you… to VAJAZZLE!”
“Great to meet you. Looking forward to being your frenemy.”
“Must get drunk. Then… must… puke… on… Jill…”
Ramona: “I don’t like this. We’re making a mess. I don’t like this.”
Alex: “But it’s an artistic mess. Not an ugly mess… like JILL ZARIN.”
LuAnn: “How time flies. Would you believe it’s been a year since Bethenny called me a snake? Me! A snake!!! How nasty!“
Kelly: “This gallery is full of so many satchels of gold. I just want to call over Al Sharpton and tell him to zip it. ZIP IT.”
Cindy: “Wow, you really are as crazy as you seem on TV!”
“Is it so hard to find an assistant with good skin? Or maybe one who’s been renewed? I just don’t know anymore.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been renewed. I cut my hair — some people say I look like Cameron Diaz now. Wouldn’t you say?”
“Uh, I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Excuse me, you need to be prepared with an answer. You’re not interviewing for some old, failing company like Kodak, okay?”
“Would you look at this one? No tie in a restaurant? Well I certainly would not call that classy.”
“So……. who wants to talk about sex???”
Mario: “I love you.”
Ramona: “I love you too.”
Alex: “IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THIS. GIVE ME MY BAGEL.”
“I’m exhausted. This is like the JILL ZARIN of mornings.”
“Bitch.”
“Whore.”
“I have to get something off my chest. There’s this woman with this awful purple and yellow flower pattern dress on. I think it’s like a pansy dress? You know, like the flower. A pansy. Anyway, she just has the ugliest dress on, and– she’s behind me, isn’t she?”
“Ramona, I’m trying to explain quantum physics to you.”
“I- I just don’t care, Alex. I’m sorry, but I don’t care. I don’t care!”
“I can’t help but be nice, and that being said, those two bitches in their cream colored dresses should be run over by a train for what they wore to this wedding. Feh!”
“Jill, you said you didn’t know I was going to be at this wedding, but then you told Ramona a week ago that you knew.”
“Okay. So?”
“Well, which is it? Did you know or did you not know?”
“I thought I knew but maybe I didn’t.”
“I keep hearing different things.”
“What are we arguing about again?”
“I’m not sure.”
“So does this make you happy?”
“Jill, you are a mean girl, and while YOU are in high school, I AM IN A CREAM COLORED DRESS — UNAPOLOGETICALLY – AT A WEDDING!!!”
“What is wrong with you?”
“What is wrong with YOU?”
“Do you feel better now?”
“YOU are a THUG in a COCKtail dress!”
“So wrong that a thug can wear a cocktail dress?”
“There’s been enough drama, Jill!”
Ramona: “I can’t even follow this anymore. This argument is crazy. No. You know what it is? It’s déclassé. Sorry. That’s what it is. Déclassé.”
What did you think about the premiere? Is everyone as excited as I am to have these women back? And who else re-watched LuAnn getting thrashed about by the camel five times?
“Why am I ranking the different installments of the franchise?” Because, like me, I suspect you have undiagnosed Asperger’s, which incidentally makes for a GREAT blogger!!!
This could be very true.
So happy my favorite housewives are back. I’ve been checking your site hourly for the photocap. Can we please talk about Alex’s alleged modeling (I use that word loosely) career? Wax figures look more lifelike/normal than she did in the photos we were able to see.
I loved Kelly’s surprisingly lucid comment that Alex would attend the opening of an envelope. Bethenny with her tried schtick has always been my least favorite, so I didn’t miss her at all.
Did anyone watch the After Show with Jill and Ramona? I loved that they fought every five minutes. They could totally have their own Odd Couple-esque show. Jill’s hair was inexplicable.
Her Madonna-esque (minus the cones) bustier/leggings combo was equally inexplicable! Whoa.
I think that’s her awful shapewear line. The woman has no style and must be so pissed that Bethenny has the Skinnygirl Shapewear that is selling out online because its actually cute and not a ridiculous 80s mess like hers.
That “…attend the opening of an envelope…” comment was actually coined by Bethenny in a past season. Kelly adopted it as her own witticism, sorta like she adopts jewelry designs, diets, fitness regimens and drink recipes. A true original mind, that one…:)
Not to rain on everyone’s parades, but the “she’d attend the opening of an envelope” joke pre-dates both Kelly and Bethenny’s usage; although, I think it takes other forms like “she’d attend the opening of a phone book.”
When I saw what Jill was wearing on Miss Andy’s “show”, I knew that she must still be starring as the narcissistic diva in the Jill show. Well okay Jill thinks herself a DIVA, but everyone else thinks she is acting like a cunt. Anyway she has had to have pissed off all of her gays, her friends, and Bobwie and Ally to because if she had anyone left that liked her. They would have talked her out of wearing that ridiculous costume. You know that she thought she was hot shit and sadly she looked like a pathetic clownwhore.
I love Alex 2.0 and I love that she isn’t letting Jill get away with even the slightest lie. I only hope that Alex doesn’t act too high & mighty or starts to act everyone over petty little bullshit because I don’t want her to become unlikable. I seriously hope that Jill only continues to ride on the hate train and continue to act in ways that completely contradict what she is says about herself. With Miss Andy, she was already blaming the show’s edit as a way to excuse what she said about Alex at the wedding. It didn’t work because Ramona was quick to point out that she did say that Alex was socializing beyond her means.
Don’t like the new cast mate. I thought she completely over reacted to what Ramona was saying about her brother. Ramona wasn’t talking trash as so much as she was explaining why the brother was walking around with a cigar in his mouth. I think Ramona felt bad that she kind of attacked him about the cigar. Also I think that she is going to try to become Bethany 2.0 and that just isn’t going to work.
The New York ladies are my all time favorites. Also it was fun to see a little of the old Alex. Alex of the first season. When she was portrayed as a social climbing wannabe, who greatly overestimated all her fucking wonderful/special/unique characteristics. Everything that came out of her mouth was a tribute to how important and fabulous she is, and we saw a little of this when she was explaining her return to modeling. It was great to hear her expound on how lucky she got in the gene pool. You know coming from too great looking parents, it was a foregone conclusion that she would be beautiful too. Umm, Alex? Have you looked in the mirror ever?
I don’t want to be too critical of her looks because beauty is a completely subjective experience, but I do not think that she has the looks of a model. I do not think it means what she thinks it means. Sure she has the body for modeling, but her face is a little bit hurting. Sort of a cross between skeletor a la He-Man after he used a metric ton of new and improved Joker products, and I wonder what infliction prevented her from losing her baby teeth and growing adult teeth. Okay maybe that was a bit critical because I do love Alex. She is one of my all time favs, but she is no model.
I think that Alex and Simon are using their new work at home “jobs” as cover. I bet that they aren’t working because they are making enough money from the show, the book they wrote and appearances.
The opening of the envelope comment was stolen from Bethanny. She said it a couple of years ago!
I thought the “opening of an envelope” comment came from Bethenny in season 2 or so? Also, Ramotional, Ramona-coaster, I’m pretty sure those were B-isms as well.
Kelly doesn’t have an original thought in her head and just spits back whatever is said. Perfect example: Kell-ade. As in “I can’t believe Bethenny claims to have invented a drink. How outrageous. Oh did I mention I have a drink? It’s called Kell-ade and it’s totally Mexican, not like a margarita but it’s Mexican.”
I also thought Jill was repulsive with comments like “I’m just so nice” immediately followed by “That F***ing B*tch Alex…” and “She’s socializing at a party which is so above her.” She also claimed Bethenny “dropped” her when she got married and had a baby and didn’t need her anymore. Talk about revisionist history. I am seriously considering not watching because between her and Kelly I feel like I’m actually supporting the worst of the worst on tv by watching.
@I Miss B: I see we’re in “the zone”….:)
The “Ramotional” stuff was coined by Andy Cohen, actually. B kept it going.
Goldie Hawn used it in “Death Becomes her”
Kelly – I have no doubt that vacuous idiot probably heard it somewhere and spent all day in front of a mirror rehearsing it so that it would come out correctly.
Jill is a vile bitch and no one is buying that “I’ve grown” bullshit.
I love these crazy broads!! So glad to have them back. Ramona is insane and the best. Those job interviews were hysterical and I think all those young applicants she did not hire dodged a MAJOR bullet. Cannot imagine working for Ramona. I am glad Jill is turning over a new leaf but wish it wasn’t only because everyone called her out on being awful last season.The new Alex, however, might make me crazy. Good grief, that wedding argument was ridiculous and Alex is just such an awkward mean girl. Not working and the modeling thing is hilarious.
Jill continues to be the worst. On WWHL she blamed a production staffer for her comments about wearing white/ivory to a wedding. Her hair & outfit made her look like a back up dancer on “You Can’t Touch This”. And then she stuck her dog in a Kimono as some kind of tribute to Japan. Newsflash Zarin: Ginger is NO Giggy.
Ramona continues to be the best. From her making poor little girls feel bad about themselves to ticking off the sister of a dude she is slamming I love this woman. On the WWHL Team Ramona won by a landslide.
Sonjia’s hair of straw on the double date was bad enough but her showing her “friend” how her dress comes off with one simple tug of the string brings up my bile. She is not a pretty woman to begin with but her whole sex persona comes off as desperate.
Alex’s face and mouth gestures are hilarious. The woman should never play poker.! And Simon looks like he has put on a few lbs.
I do not like the new chick. That reverse-mullet dress she was wearing at the gallery was party in the front and business in the back. And when did being #1 in pube pulling become something to admire?
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I agree with you about Sonia…her constant reference to sex and how much she loves sex and how sexy she thinks she is—the whole thing is very cheesy.
Kelly is completely being fed nasty one liners from Jill. When she is speaking as herself, she is never that succinct. She normally has to ramble, throw in a few awkward pauses, look around with a blank expression before she gets to anything resembling a comment.
Also I thought that Ramona was a bit out of line with her interview tactics, but some of what she said made a ton of sense. When I was in my 20’s it would have been helpful for someone to tell me how to present myself at an interview. She is right if someone wants a job in marketing, the interviewer is going to make an appraisal of what the person is wearing. Also it is important to be outgoing, engaging and energetic at an interview and those girls has such lackluster attitudes. If she had been a bit more tactful what she was saying would have come across as constructive criticism.
So true… she is really revolting and her boobs looked nasty under that silky dress when she was showing luann how the dress came off. The only thing more revolting is kelly in a bikini! Talk about a dude.
I love to hate all these ladies with the exception of Ramona! Even Sonja works my nerves at times. The thing with Ramona is that she’ll tell the others whatever she feels. Whether it’s good or bad. Even if it makes her a “mean girl” or a shit stirrer, I don’t care. She’s awesome!! Jill hates that about of Ramona.
I miss Bethenny so much! She really was the core of the show.
Does anyone else think that LuAnn’s boyfriend looks like Ross from ‘Friends’?
Jill and her name dropping about her dress line was very cheesy.
I like that Alex isn’t a doormat, but she needs to be more selective about her battles. Not everything has to be torn apart.
I cannot stand Kelly. Is she a tranny? I just don’t understand her or like her and she adds nothing to the show. Yuck.
I am confused about the situation b/w Ramona and the other wedding guest. Was that woman the old-mother-waxer or a look alike?
Hated the highchairs.
Well, maybe I’m a big old bitch myself, but the FIRST thing I thought when I saw Ramona & Alex dressed in white to attend a wedding I thought “What the eff are they doing?” I really think it is safe to say that everyone KNOWS that you just do NOT wear white to a wedding. That color is reserved for the bride. Anyone guest who does wear white is a no-class ignorant ho.
The fight between Alex & Jill about her attendance was especially stupid because when Alex confronted Jill in the parking lot after the service Jill said “I must have confused things.” Yet, even with that plausible explanation (Jill doesn’t have to keep Alex’s social calendar), Alex started it all up again at the reception. I’m really hating on Alex this season already.
Loved every second of the drama. Your right, nothing really happened but I was hanging on every word too. Can’t wait to see what happens next.
You are waaayyyy too soft on Jill. =/
What makes this particular photo recap so awesome is that I can actually picture them all saying these things verbatim. New York has always been my favorite Housewive’s franchise (thanks mostly to Bethenny), and it just goes to show you, even though not much of anything happened in the season premiere, it was still able to blow the best Miami had to offer out of the water. Elsa should defect to NY and become besties with Gloria, which just might make Gloria’s cameo appearances that much more bearable.
I think you’re onto something with Ramona getting a spot on next season’s Celebrity Apprentice. I know she has 4 businesses, (I mean ,really, she never lets us forget it!), but it just seems she’s as equipped for business as Kelly is for life on planet Earth. I’d love to see her in action as a project manager and then having to defend herself in the boardroom.
I have to admit, Ramona’s grown on my since the first season. She tells it like it is, owns up to what she says, and isn’t a hypocrite. Pretty much the total opposite of Jill, I’d say. The highlight of premiere night for me was a Ramona moment from WWHL when she made that remark about Jill never working a day in her life. Her “No Jill, I don’t want to call the people!!!” line was hillariously rewind worthy.
I’ve never liked Alex.
She tries too hard to be noticed. She’s creepy and makes my skin crawl. Blech!
The agency that hired her to “model”, just wants/wanted their name to be out there. I doubt they even pay her. She probably pays them.
Hilarious photocaps, Bside!
Ramona is GREAT television and I happen to love Luann’s snobbery. Her comment in the previews about Alex finding herself but now needs to zip it made me laugh out loud.
Even though in the past I thought Alex was strange, I always admired her for acting like an adult. This “new” Alex is really unpleasant to watch. Did anyone else notice how she literally follows Ramona round like a puppy, it’s like Ramona is the only one that can tolerate her.I am no Jill fan but Alex picked a very desperate and petty fight with her that was pretty embarrassing to watch. Kelly could have been referring to herself as well as Alex with the being a model doesn’t mean you’re pretty comment!
Jill is the worst. I cannot believe she wore that get up on wwhl and bringing Ginger was desperate. I loved when she tried to blame production. You said it Jill quit pretending to be nice.
Alex needs to give up already. Jill and LuAnn will never think you are good enough. Do your own thing and forget about them. Calling Jill out on every little thing makes you look bad.
Ramona continues to be hilarious!
Sonya looked a little worried at dinner when Luann was flirting with her guy. I felt a little bad for Luann’s boyfriend.
Your recap is genius! I am still LOL-ing as I write this. Please don’t ever stop.
It would be a blast to hang with Ramona and drink some Ramona with her. I love her kind of crazy.
The whole show is tired and tiring. It is circling the drain. What was once entertaining is now just vomitaceous. I find myself paying less and less attention. I wish Alex had upchucked on Shrill. That would have been amusing.
And as for that stupid, mean old leatherbag telling us how she wants to support everyone else, well all her talking heads were pathetic attempts to be cutting. She isn’t even very good at contradicting herself.
After everyone got done with that stupid foot painting, the thing looked like a kindergarten mess. Kind of a good metaphor for this season. You just want to throw it away and move on to a new box of crayons.
2 more things I thought of after catching part of the episode on rerun over teh weekend:
1. As for Kelly-I-am-not-a-tranny’s comments about Alex and Simon attending the “opening of an envelope” which people have already commented about, my thought on this is that it seems like the other housewives say things like this about SiLex, but at the same time they are all at the same exact events. So I don’t really understand why they view SiLex as being at too many things when they are at the same ones.
It goes along with Jillous’ comment at the wedding that the reception is so “above” them. Well, apparently they got an invite from the bride and groom so clearly they are invited guests. It didn’t seem like the bride and groom were hogging the camera wanting to be on tv, so I don’t think it’s just that.
2. And I had a second point which I am now forgetting…I know it will come to me as I drive to work this am…I hate when this happens.
OK – Did anyone else think Jill (on WWHL) looked like Kyle Richard’s?
ugh can you ignore the ‘ in Richards please, mis-use of that
Ramona’s Pinot Grigio is actually not bad.
Alex is trying so hard not to be the meek woman that she has been in the past, that she is going way overboard. Picking fights about the littlest thing. And she gets into a fight with Sonya? Sonya never fights with anyone.
Oh, and Alex with her “When I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I was blessed to have two good looking parents”. Give me a break! Get over yourself.
And Ramona’s hair in her interviews is insane! She totally looks like a palm tree.
I can’t wait for the blondes vs. the brunettes.
While I’ve always thought that Alex came off as desperate to be included in the ‘in’ crowd, this season she seems particularly needy and bitchy. Kinda sad to watch. But like most here, I’m having a hard time believing she’s modeling.
Jill is still a bitch, LuAnne still has a corncob up her ass and Kelly is still a nutjob. I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to hold on on this show because it’s wearing very thin.
Totally laughed when I saw a third person wearing white/cream at that wedding. Did anyone else notice that?
Jill needs to shut her mouth – what a petty thing to comment on, but then again, petty is her specialty.