JERSEY SHORE PHOTOCAP: Thank Goodness MTV Doesn’t Broadcast in Smell-O-Vision

Oh snap! I just realized it’s Thursday, and I hadn’t done my Jersey Shore photocap from last week yet! I blame this squarely on the barista competition I judged which not only put me behind schedule, but also had me in a world of hurt last Thursday night. It’s like I blocked out any and all TV I watched that evening. Fear not: I will not forget this fine, fine program — one of the best on TV, I’d say. Yes, all you pop culture snobs may turn your nose up at the Seaside Heights antics, but Jersey Shore is wonderful, and I wholeheartedly back Rolling Stone’s decision to plop Snooki on its cover.

But I digress. This week’s episode was a rather drama-free experience. Ronnie spent the entire time trailing Sammi around like a puppy-dog, and of course it worked because by the end, Sammi was singing his praises once again. That’s all fine and good, but if she goes back to the big oaf, she’s an idiot (but what else is new?). We also learned that Snooki has a major crush on Vinny, or at least his manhood, and Deena is a terrible driver. No surprise there.

As for the toilet situation, the kids finally hired a plumber to clean their pipes, and a shocking discovery was made: the offending object clogging the toilet was apparently Vinny’s drawers. Someone, possibly Vinny but probably not, had flushed his undies down the drain. I blame either Snooki (acting out in a jealous rage) or one of the nameless lady-friends who parade through the house.

Also enduring a stinky fate was The Situation, who kicked a girl out of bed because she smelled too much like cheese. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t the girl’s fault. Turns out Sammi, Snooki, and Ronnie had pranked Mike by sprinkling and smearing all sorts of fine cheeses on his mattress. Kind of gross, kind of hilarious. Anyway, on to the photocap…

Vinny: “Isn’t this nice? Sitting here and enjoying the evening?”
“PUT IT IN ME.”

Sammi: “You evah see bitch face before? Because I’m giving you a master class.”

“No, Ron, I don’t want YOU to put it in me. Yours is like the size of a peapod.”
“Look at me. Look at me.”
“What? I’m looking at you.”
“I’m at least as long as a haricot vert.”

“I WANT IT IN ME. PUT IT IN ME!!!!!”

“What’s wrawng with my driving?”
“Deena, YOU’RE ON THE MEDIAN.”

“OHHW!!! Smells like Angelina in here!”

Sammi: “Best prank evah!”
Ronnie: “So… does this mean we’re dating again?”

Sammi & Snooki: “Yay! Sober night!”
Ronnie: “And I’m here too!!!”

“Yo, I had to kick that girl out of bed. She smelled like parmesan, and I like my ladies to be more pecorino romano, know what I’m saying?”

“Wait, you can get STDs from unprotected oral sex? I better be careful. Wouldn’t want anything to harm my penis warts.”

Snooki: “You know, Vinny, I’ve come to realize that even though I want you to put it in me, you can put in other girls, and I won’t be mad.”
“That was the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me, Snooks.”
“Really? You want to put it in me now?”

What did you think about the episode?