How crazy is this season of The Real Housewives of New York City? The drama is so thick, so tense, and so frequent that often times we get not only a fight at the end of the hour, but also at the top. It’s almost like there’s too much cattiness for Bravo to even handle. Case in point: this latest episode began immediately with the sort of imbroglio that other seasons spend three episodes building up to. The settup was simple: Bethenny and Ramona were to take a simple stroll across the Brooklyn bridge, a journey fraught with significance as Ramona is loath to enter Brooklyn, especially by foot. Well, after pleasantries were exchanged, Ramona managed to reduce Bethenny to a puddle of tears, informing her — perhaps correctly, if not a bit harshly — that she had no friends, she was a media whore, and was destined to screw things up with Jason. Bethenny understandably didn’t take this criticism well, and I can’t imagine there were many things more embarrassing than nearly sobbing right there in public as onlookers — and there were many — stopped in their tracks and craned their heads. To be fair, most of these people were merely fascinated by the cameras, and Bethenny can take some solace in knowing that the passers-by seemed more concerned with flapping their arms in the air and saying “Hey mom!!” than actually scrutinizing her quivering chin.
Of course, in typical Ramona fashion, she then retracted and announced that her intention was not to upset Bethenny but merely be honest. I’m not sure it was the sort of honesty Bethenny wanted to hear. Needless to say, when the two ladies arrived in Brooklyn and met up with Simon and Alex, things were just a tad awkward — at least for Bethenny. Ramona seemed perfectly delighted to see the birds chirping and children running in the streets. Bethenny, however, hid behind her sunglasses and attempted to regroup. Unfortunately for her, this was only the first of several tear-ridden impasses for her this episode. Yes, this hour revealed the softer side of Bethenny, and it was enough to skew the ongoing battle with Jill her way (especially after Jill’s horrific email to Kelly the week prior).
Bethenny, it turns out, has a bunch of personal crap on her plate, all stemming from her dying dad, with whom she claims to have no relationship. When she revealed this all to Alex randomly in a busy office lobby, I had to feel somewhat sympathetic to her, if only because it’s clear her daddy issues have completely driven her neurosis all her life. Of course, it was perversely humorous to watch Bethenny sit there and insist she wasn’t sad, despite the fact that she was a sobbing mess who could barely get her words out.
Later in the episode, she was brought to tears yet again, this time by Jill herself during their much-hyped confrontation. You see that tricky little Ramona decided to orchestrate a meeting between the two women, and while Bethenny was in on the plan, Jill had no idea what was going on. And neither did LuAnn, who happened to be at Ramona’s apartment when all the chaos went down. Understandably, this was not the ideal way to bury the hatchet, but to Bethenny’s credit, she remained very calm and sincere, and by all accounts, she seemed willing to at least engage in a mature dialogue. Jill, on the other hand, was totally resistant. To an extent, it’s justified. Springing this confrontation on her was not cool, and it’s no surprise that her first instinct was to go into a defensive mode and bare her claws. But eventually, Jill began to let down her wall, and if I’m not mistaken, it looked like the women were on the way to having a productive, perhaps breakthrough, conversation.
However, it was all cockblocked by LuAnn, who for some reason felt the need to interrupt every so often with random offerings of tea. Most egregiously though, LuAnn ushered Jill out of the conversation just when progress was being made, claiming that the whole thing was too upsetting and had gone on far too long. This was not only abhorrent and condescending (LuAnn’s m.o., I suppose), but totally unfortunate. Of course, who’s to say if there really was progress, and perhaps the two women were just arguing in circles and the editing made it look like LuAnn ruined everything. Either way, it didn’t see like great timing to the untrained eye.
That being said, I still find it difficult to hate The Countess because she gives us so many haughty gems each week. This time around, she utterly dismissed something (I don’t remember what) by addressing the camera and saying “Je crois pas” for no real reason except to perhaps remind us that she does speak a few words of French. Bless her heart.
As for Kelly, she largely stayed out of the fray this week, popping up only here and there as she attempted to interview people for some dumb article about trends. I wouldn’t call her the most intrepid journalist out there, especially given that her investigative skills tended to involve her basically saying “Hiiiieeeeee!!!” to random people on the street. However, on a year to year basis, Kelly does get credit for being significantly less insufferable than last season; so I suppose that counts for something.
Anyway, on to the photocap!
Bethenny: “Hi Ramona. How are you?”
“I’m great! You have no friends, you’re a media whore, and the only person in your life is Jason, which you’ll probably ruin like everything else. And how are you??”
“I think Bethenny took my advice well. I mean, she has no friends and ruins every relationship she’s in on account of being a media whore. It’s true. Sorry! She’s a media whore. Oh look! A helicopter!”
“Ah, what a lovely afternoon. Just walking to Ramona’s with some cookies. What could possibly go wrong?”
Bethenny: “I brought you cookies.”
Ramona: “What a nice gesture! You still have no friends.”
“Check it out, Jill. It’s my new magic trick. I compel this glass of water to RISE TO MY HAND! I COMPEL IT!!!! Wait, it usually works. RISE!!!”
“Eh.”
Simon: “And how is everyone this fine morning?”
Ramona: “Great! Brooklyn is surprisingly lovely. Sort of the opposite of Bethenny, who has no friends and screws up all her relationships!”
“I’m so happy that Manhattan finally has a high end thrift store. I’m so sick of donating to the Cancer Society. I mean, I can’t give a Badgley Mischka gown to the Cancer Society. Never to the Cancer Society!!!”
“I’m looking for a pied-Ã -terre on the Upper East Side with a full kitchen, a dumbwaiter, a southwest view, and — this is very important — a marble bidet. Not porcelain. Marble. Also, it can’t be too high up because Noel gets the dizzies. And it can’t be too low because I don’t care to see the tops of hot dog vendors.”
“Ginge-ah, look who’s here! My REAL friend, LuAnn. You wanna lick mommy’s nostril now? You wanna lick mommy’s nostril? That’s a good girl.”
“Thank you for letting me stay here, my love. It’s been quite wonderful. I’m almost starting to understand your tacky design aesthetic. Almost. [haughty Countess laugh]”
“My love, I shall have no problem falling asleep in here tonight.”
“Because it’s so dark?”
“No, because it’s so hideous that I’ll be afraid to open my eyes [haughty Countess laugh]”
“I’m also looking for something designed in the Arts & Crafts style but necessarily from that era. I don’t want to be too on the nose with it. Similarly, a bathtub with those little feet would be much welcomed, but none that have been installed later than 1987 as I find more modern feetsy bathtubs don’t have the contours that truly meld with my unique body shape, ie. former model.”
“Alex, I have something really personal on my mind that I don’t want to talk about in public, but I suppose I can tell you here in this BUSTLING OFFICE ON NATIONAL TV.”
“Bethenny, do you ever think that maybe you and Jill are just AWFUL?”
Bethenny: “I can’t believe I’m sitting here with these two crazies. I could be at home right now Tweeting about how well my books are selling!”
“It’s important for me to have a skylight, which I understand is difficult if we’re not on a top floor. Perhaps the apartment could have some sort of extension out and over the street, on which we could add a skylight. Naturally, it would have to pass code because we wouldn’t want our breakfast nook to fall down on some poor UPS truck [haughty laugh]. Oh, that reminds me. We don’t want to be near any UPS trucks.”
“Hiiiiieeeee!!! Does anyone want to talk to me?? Hiiiiiieeeeee!!! No? Okay. Byyyeeeeeee!!!”
“What’s that? You have no residences that match my criteria? JE CROIS PAS!”
Ramona: “I don’t think this is going well. It’s upsetting. It’s very upsetting. No, you know what it is? It’s déclassé. It’s totally déclassé. Sorry. It’s déclassé.”
LuAnn: “I can’t believe you did this, Ramona. And now I’m going to be late for my meeting at the Flavor Flav appreciation society.”
“Bethenny, I wish you the best, but when you told me to get a hobby, I can’t tell you how deep that cut. I never told anyone this, but in fourth grade, I tried to join the hobby club, and they wouldn’t let me in! So I’ve TRIED to get a hobby, okay? And I’m sorry if I’m just not GOOD enough to get one!!!”
“But I don’t know. Maybe I’m just holding on to one comment and using it against you because I can’t deal with the fact that you’re moving on, and you don’t need me anymore, and I guess at the end of the day, I’m just lonely, and I love you, and I feel like you’re gonna get married and never speak to me again; so it’s easier for me to trump up a reason to be mad at you and write you off rather than accept the brutal truth that our lives are naturally and sadly drifting apart. Maybe that’s it. Wow, I feel like for the first time in months, I’m starting to finally communicate openly with–“
LuAnn: “TEA ANYONE???”
Jill: “That was total sabotage. I didn’t like that. I didn’t want that today. Not good, Ramona. Not good.”
LuAnn: “Well thank God I called for the car. You two were just on the verge of making progress!!”
“Fine. If they don’t want to talk it out, they don’t have to talk it out. It’s not my problem. Not my problem at all. Sorry! Not my problem.”
What did you think about the episode? Team Jill or Team Bethenny?
Team Bethenny. More importantly Team Not-LuAnn. God, she is just THE WORST. And normally I like snobby people! (see: Ina Garten)
So…this was actually Jill’s Facebook status earlier today:
” Jill Zarin So..what do you do when you have a fight with a friend..and you don’t want to make up yet…then when your ready they don’t want to? You write, call and send gifts. Suggestions welcome!
5 hours ago
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Team Bethenny. Jill and Luann are just vile. For once Ramona did something constructive, and rather than addressing the issues between Bethenny and Jill they focused on how Ramona set them up. They both need to go back and watch their Season One DVDs when Jill ambushed Bethenny, having Kelly in her apartment and forcing Bethenny and Kelly to work things out.
Luann is fanning the flames of this feud because she doesn’t want Jill to abandon her like her husband did. Jill is using Luann as a project because Bethenny is no longer as needy.
TEAM BETHENNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it possible that Bethenny is a weeping wonder because she is preggers at this point?
Maybe she is just PMS-ing.
I guess I have to go team Bethenny if for no other reason than I cannot stand the dinner gong LuAnn is wearing for a necklace. Take that disCountess!
I’m on team Bethenny. I don’t think she is totally innocent, but Jill is a hypocrite. Bethenny was being sincere and Jill was a cold bitch.
And I think she was fake being nice to Alex and pretending she wanted to see Alex’s boys was beyond fake. She’s only doing it to save face for all the mean things she does and is getting called out on.
Luann is AWFUL! I know she gives you good material, but she is horrible person.
Team Bethanny, Jill acts like a mean girl in high school. Why did they keep using the word “sabotage” instead of ambush? The Countless should have caught that with her extensive French vocabulary.
The fact that Bethenny did not reach out to Jill as Bawby lie in the Hospital is pretty unfriendlike. Especially since Jill invited her to stay in her house last year for the summer. However, it’s tough when a friend zaps your energy, and I have a feeling Jill is definitely that kind of friend. I have had to break up with friends who were too needy. It happens. Still though, I would have been there for my friend if she were going through that. And I do agree with the theory that Jill needs a “project” (ie: underdog to take care of).
But can we talk about Ramona for a minute? When she attacked Bethenny on the bridge like that, I couldn’t believe it. I was so disappointed Bethenny took that sitting down. I was really, really wishing she would have just hauled off and punched her in the face. Ramona is a meddling, intrusive bitch, who comes at you with the facade of friendship. I really loathe her.
Team Bethenny, but, is she putting herself out there for the paps too much?
B-Side. Hi. I’ve read your blog for a couple years now (long time reader, first time poster) and each week I think the same thing. The guy is f*cking hilarious. And brilliant. And f*cking hilarious. I’m all over the net and you make me LOL – literally – more than anyone, each and ever week. So serious. I thought I should finally take a moment to sing some praise….
First of all, the way you portray everyone in the photocaps is ridiculously spot on. Whichever show it is. But I particularly love your RH recaps. And your Ramona?! Amazing. Your LuAnn?! Cracks my sh*t up. And your insight into Jill this week? Also spot on if you ask me.
But for me, this weeks highlight — which made me laugh so hard no sound came out was when you wrote; Perhaps the apartment could have some sort of extension out and over the street, on which we could add a skylight…..I mean, that is so LuAnn I could die.
So thank you B-Side, thank you so very much for making me laugh each and every time I read your blog. You rock
Team Bethenny all the way. There was more to the fight than Jill wants known. She got jealous because Bethenny was asked to host a show. Jill with her phoney smile. I can’t stand her. If she gets a show I won’t watch it. She might as well take out your hairpiece in the back and take back all the clothes she buys like she normally does. I read the article by a salesperson in her fabulous neighborhood say she takes everything back after she wears it for an event. Cheap and phoney.