AMERICAN IDOL RECAP: Continuing Down The Long And Winding Road

Apologies for my one week absence in American Idol coverage. I was in NY last Tuesday, and I forgot to record the show on my parents’ Tivo. Even worse, the performance videos on Idol’s official (and extremely crappy) website didn’t work; so I was left with little else to do but listen to mp3s of the performances that I found on Rickey.org. Needless to say, everyone sounded not so hot — particularly Tim Urban, whose toothless rendition of “Sweet Love” was so offensively bland to me, I almost shut down the computer right then and there. Rather than write a recap, I decided to pretend the whole week didn’t happen, which isn’t too hard since it was a fairly forgettable installment.
Thankfully, the singers were up to snuff this week, with most of the remaining nine contestants delivering very good and occasionally excellent performances. The theme was “The Lennon/McCartney Songbook,” and while I tend to groan at theme weeks pulled from the ’60s and ’70s, these tunes have proven remarkably versatile over the decades; so it wasn’t the worst thing ever. Of course, I’m not sure the presence of errant didgeridoos and bagpipes did much to improve the experience, but I suppose when it comes to this sleepy season of Idol, I’ll take excitement any way I can get it — even if it does involve strange wind instruments.

Kicking off the show on a nervous, uneven, and altogether embarrassing note was little Aaron Kelly, whose recent forward momentum came to an abrupt halt with his version of “The Long And Winding Road.” It’s a perfectly lovely song, but in the wrong hands it becomes boring. And if there’s one thing worse than a boring performance, it’s a boring and off-key performance. Sadly for Aaron, that’s exactly what he gave us. The judges pretty much bent him over and gave him a whooping, leaving the kid all but sobbing on the stage. He looked like he was doing his best to hold back the tears, and in the random backstage interview segment, his glassy eyes suggested that in .257 seconds, he was gonna race to the nearest bathroom and weep in a toilet stall. If only his sweet mother was there to comfort him. Actually, she probably was. As inoffensive pre-pubescent Idol singers go, Aaron doesn’t grate on me as much as others of his ilk. Still, if he were to go this week, I wouldn’t be shedding any tears.
Faring better was Katie Stevens, who looked age-appropriate in a hot pink number up on the stage. She sang “Let It Be,” and I must say the girl has improved greatly since the dark days of the semifinals. Katie’s not my favorite by any means, but she’s starting to make a case for herself, and I’m glad that she seems to be hitting notes a bit more consistently. I agree with Simon that her voice seems a bit more country than R&B, but I suppose it doesn’t matter that much. For now, Katie deserves to hang around. And props to her for whoring out a prom date based on whichever guys vote for her the most. Who said romance was dead?
Next up was the show’s resident lesbian. No, not Ellen DeGeneres. I’m talking, of course, about Andrew Garcia, who looks not unlike a patron (or perhaps the bouncer) of your average girl-on-girl biker bar. Admittedly, Andrew did quite nicely last week, at last showing some skill and ingenuity that had previously been missing. Last night, however, he was back to his old crappy tricks, clocking in a hokey, corny, and utterly forgettable version of “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Can’t buy him talent either. With horns stabbing through the arrangement and a silly, boppy tempo, I had a hard time wondering why Andrew ever thought this was radio-friendly. In fact, I’m not sure why he chose such a silly tune. Why not go for some of the more artistic or interesting selections from “the songbook”? Maybe something unexpected from McCartney’s later work. Or perhaps “Sitting Here Watching The Wheels Go Round” by Lennon? Then again, the more intriguing the tune, the more likely Andrew would be to butcher it, and no one wants to hear that. Nevertheless, not a fan.
Faring much, much better was Michael Lynche, who took on one of my favorite Beatles songs, “Eleanor Rigby.” I suppose I’m biased because I like the source material, but I thought this was Michael’s best performance in a few weeks. Lately he’d been getting a bit routine and perhaps old fashioned, but this rendition with its driving beat was fresh and new and contemporary. I can see how Simon felt it was a bit too theatrical, but I didn’t find it to be Broadway — or at least Broadway enough that it couldn’t be on the radio. I was quite enthused. Of course, my joy for the performance was undermined by Michael’s growing cockiness, as evidenced by his thinly veiled anger towards Simon’s critique, not to mention the bizarre insistence on some sort of pec-off. I know Michael is proud of his big frame, but I’m afraid his pecs are more like mams, and it’s sort of the last thing I want to imagine, especially in some sort of competitive sphere with Simon’s man-boobs.
Following Michael was the other frontrunner of the season, Crystal Bowersox, who delivered yet another professional, soulful, and all-around great performance, this time of “Come Together.” In an odd bit of ill-advised artistry, Crystal had a didgeridoo accompany her on stage, and while I give her points for originality, I can’t say that this addition worked. Most of the time, it sounded like a busted air-conditioner was humming in the background. It was a bit distracting; although, as stunt instruments go, it was only the second most bizarre sight of the night. More on that later.
Then came Tim Urban. Oh Timmy Urbs. In the beginning of this long saga, I thought the guy had potential. His semifinal debut was a tad wretched, but not altogether terrible. He improved week after week, culminating in a solid rendition of “Hallelujah.” And then he started to suck. The problem with Tim is that he’s just boring. Milquetoast. Antiseptic. The judges have given him this note before, and he’s done things to spice up his performances (the famous stage slide comes to mind), but what Tim doesn’t realize is that the problem isn’t his stage presence. It’s the total lack of emotion in his voice. The dude sounds like a shlocky lounge singer every week, and if I must raise the specter of R&B week yet again, his take on Anita Baker was a total travesty.
This week was truly no different. Sure, he hit the notes of “All My Loving,” but it was almost robotic — totally soulless. The old fashioned arrangement didn’t earn him any points either, and quite frankly, I was surprised to hear Simon say that Tim sounded somewhat contemporary. No, he didn’t. He sounded boring and forgettable. The problem is that Tim has performed so poorly recently that anything that’s merely okay or slightly bad is viewed as a solid performance. The Tim Scale, as Randy noted. Simon acted as if he wasn’t going to use it, but guess what? He did. Alas, Tim will probably be around another week or two, which I can live with if someone like Andrew Garcia goes home.
If, however, the ax were to swing for the likes of Casey James before Tim, I would be most upset. Casey delivered the best performance of the night by a long shot, and in my opinion, one of the best of the season. Singing a sparse, acoustic version of “Jealous Guy,” Case had one of those Idol “moments” that Simon talks about so much. He truly connected with the music, and with only a cello backing him up, Casey’s arrangement was less gimmicky and more truly beautiful. Quite frankly I was a little surprised that the judges’ praise — which was universal — wasn’t a bit more ecstatic. Don’t get me wrong — they definitely loved him, and Simon called it the performance of the night — but I thought maybe Randy might give a standing o or at least an utterance of “That right there was HOT!!!” I don’t know, Randy. For me for you that was a little pitchy, dawg.
Also dialing it down a bit last night was Siobhan Magnus, who performed a lovely — if a touch slow — rendition of “Across the Universe.” There wasn’t much to say about it. The song was nice. And that was it. Siobhan didn’t squeal as usual, but she did hit a great big note towards the end, making me wonder perhaps how much better this performance would have been had she really let loose her inner diva (not necessarily with a squeal) during the second half of the tune. Later, when Simon asked Siobhan what the song meant to her, she responded with a perfectly charming and heartfelt sentiment about how her sisters are her whole world yada yada yada. It could have been cheesy, but dammit, it was touching. If I don’t say so myself, coming off of Casey James’s performance, things were getting downright weepy up in hurre.
Closing out the show was Lee Dewyze, a singer who I go back and forth on. Sometimes I think he’s really, really good. Sometimes he just feels eh. Last night was an eh night. As affable as the guy is, he consistently misses notes, which I suppose is acceptable in rock, but for some reason he really gets a free pass when other rockers don’t. Secondly, Lee chose “Hey Jude” as his song, and by all accounts, it’s an amazing tune. But it’s also such an easy out. I mean, it’s hard not to get excited by a good “Na na na” sing-along, and “Hey Jude” has the biggest and best of them all. Of course people will like the performance, and that’s why I thought it was kind of a cheap ploy by Lee. Let’s be honest — it’s darn near impossible to ruin the song.
Of course, Lee came super close when he had a superfluous bagpiper suddenly descend the stairs behind him, shucking and jiving as his instrument droned out loud bleats across the stage. It was strange. In fact, it was ridiculous. Laughable, even. One thing it wasn’t: inspired. This was such a silly idea and the execution so random that it served as nothing more than a massive, massive distraction.
Now, it’s not to say there’s no room for a bagpiper on the Idol stage or even “Hey Jude,” but a smarter usage would have been welcomed. Maybe instead of one bagpipe, maybe get three or four or eight. And rather than have them march on stage unexpectedly mid-song, maybe start the song with them and only them. Who doesn’t like a little Scottish dirge to start things off?
Nevertheless, Lee wasn’t the worst of the night by any means, but he most certainly wasn’t the best. What did you think about the show? Who was the best? Who was the worst? Who should go home? Who WILL go home?