AMERICAN IDOL RECAP: The Guys Show Signs of Life

I watched American Idol last night after midnight and thus had a very strong litmus test for who I liked, and who I didn’t: those who put me asleep were in the “not like” category. Everyone else was fine. Of course, this method tended to bias those who performed earlier in the night, but no matter — it still seemed to work out just fine. Truth be told, this second stab at singing for the men was much, much improved. There still are no superstars per se, but at least most of them hit their notes, which is always a step in the right direction. Stepping in the wrong direction, however, was the overall tone of last night’s show: mellow, dull, adult-contemporary. Yes, while many of the individual performances were quite good, the sum was not greater than the pieces (did I just mix metaphors? I don’t know. I’m still casting off Idol-induced cobwebs). Would it pain any of these guys to put something thought into their song choices? Obviously, they all took steps in the right direction, but now it’s up to them to listen to their tunes and think to themselves “Could I hear this on the radio?” Maybe if they did that, we wouldn’t be stuck with so many jazzy, toothless arrangements on our hands. Really, with the exception of Michael Lynche and Casey James, there wasn’t an upbeat melody in the group. Alas.

I’m not even sure Michael Lynche’s take on “It’s A Man’s World” by James Brown could be considered upbeat, but it certainly had bite. In fact, it was by far the best performance of the night. Michael sounded good, but even more importantly, he imbued the song with emotion and meaning. I don’t know if his intensity came from an “honest place,” as they say, or if it was simply a manufactured product of his theater background, but it didn’t matter. He sold the song to terrific effect, and I was most enthused to see the judges as excited as I was. At last, this season had a pulse.
Following Michael was John Park, who revealed this hidden fact: English was his second language. Consider my jaw DROPPED. You could knock me over with a kimchi-scented feather! (Those exist right?) Bombshell revelations be damned, I enjoyed John’s performance this week quite a bit. Working against him was that he sang a tune by Captain Douchebag himself, John Mayer, but in a rare moment of tolerance, I was okay with that. He was a million times better than that awful Dracula-sings-the-standards performance that he turned in last week, and I actually felt he was fairly connected with the tune on an emotional level. The judges disagreed. They felt John lacked an emotional honesty, causing them to do that whole “sing from your heart” bit again. I wasn’t on the same page as them, but I did agree with Simon who said John didn’t bring a star power. Of course, who out of this group has?
Perhaps the closest thing the guys have to a star is Casey James, who took on Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Want To Be,” one of the most overplayed Idol songs of all time. I’m a big Casey James fan. In fact, I think he’s my official Favorite. That being said, this performance was just aiiiiight, dawg. I liked the crazy electric guitar action, and the singing was fine, but Casey didn’t bring anything new or fun or interesting to the performance. It was just solid, good, and generally forgettable. Still, much better than most of the guys.
Less forgettable was Alex Lambert (although, admittedly, I don’t remember the song he sang. Oh wait. It was something by John Legend, I think). Nevertheless, this trembling teenager easily earned the Most Improve Award in my made up award show as he went from off-key, frightened gerbil to an in-tune, confident osprey. Okay, I don’t know why he’s an osprey, but it was the first animal that came to my mind, and I liked the sound of it. The point is that Alex was a new man last night, and while he still needs to get that deer-in-the-headlights look off his face, he proved that he does deserve to be in this competition, even if it does mean we’ll be stuck with the sort of music one gets inundated with at every Starbucks across the country.
Speaking of tepid affairs, next up we had Todrick (or Tondrick, as Simon says it) attempting to sexify “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” by Tina Turner. It wasn’t as drastic a change-up as his rearrangement of “Since U Been Gone” from last week, but it was still a touch jarring and most certainly unnecessary. To be honest though, I didn’t really mind, and I thought it was a pretty good performances. The judges, however, were not pleased. They actually hated it across the board. Randy lamented Todrick’s inability to just SING A DAMN SONG, and the others felt he was too stiff up on stage (Todrick announced he’d be sticking to singing, not dancing this week — much to his detriment, apparently). Not sure if Todrick will survive this week or not, but one thing’s for sure: if he goes home, this competition loses it most lovingly plucked pair of eyebrows of all time.
Taking the stage after Todrick has to be the biggest disappointment of this season thus far: Jermaine Sellers. He used to be so sweet and humble and lovable. Now he’s brash, annoying, and generally ridiculous. He’s fast becoming the villain of the pack — a new Sanjaya or Constantine. The only question is if he’ll have enough fans to keep him around week after week. I think not. The guy has now spent two weeks in a row butchering tunes with a shaky falsetto that sounds not unlike a wet squeegee running across my window. The judges faulted him last week for selecting a tune by Oleta Adams that lacked a current flair; so what did Jermaine do this time around? Pick a hip, new artist? No. He decided to molest an old Marvin Gaye song (“What’s Going On?”) by draining all the life and urgency out of it with a dreary arrangement. Not only has this song been done to death on this show, but each time, it’s always felt dated. I respect the tune, but it’s from a specific time and place, and it just doesn’t translate. Heck, if the joint efforts of Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Bono, Nelly Furtado, Beyoncé, and half a dozen other superstars couldn’t resurrect this tune for current radio, I’m not sure anyone can — most certainly not Jermaine Sellers and his giant onesie.
And WTF with that onesie anyway? Jermaine revealed that his secret was that he rocks a onesie. Perhaps some secrets should remain that way. I didn’t get it, and even worse, it felt like a deliberate stab at having a goofy personality. He wants us to think he’s fun and easy-going, but based on his barely suppressed diva responses to the judges, it’s fairly obvious that he’s a high-maintenance drama queen. I suppose he’ll be safe though as Jesus is apparently on his side. Who knew Jesus was tone deaf?
Similarly unimpressive was Andrew Garcia, whose moment of brilliance — an acoustic cover of “Straight Up” — has now become something of a monkey on his back. Andrew just hasn’t been able to live up to that early Hollywood week performance, and last night was no exception. He clocked in such a bland, boring performance, I wouldn’t be surprised if he landed in the bottom of the pack. I’m not sure he’ll go home, but man, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. For two weeks in a row, Andrew has veered into vanilla, adult contemporarily territory with sleepy, jazzy arrangements that seem more at home at a wedding reception than American Idol. I’m kind of losing my patience with this guy. Big time.
Even worse was Aaron Kelly who for some odd reason decided to sing “My Girl” by The Temptations. Seriously, do any of these kids think about the songs they choose? Did he really imagine that “My Girl” would ever sound current or hip, especially with the arrangement that he chose? Sadly for him, song choice was the least of his problems. Aaron was a total mess, vocally. He often sounded like a car trying to start — or at least some strange, pre-pubescent ode to Katharine Hepburn. Plus, he was out of key. The kid has not been able to shake the nerves, and if it weren’t for all the tween girls who are undoubtedly voting for his inoffensive ways, I’d say he’d be in major danger of going home. Oddly enough, the judges seem to like him, which makes little sense, but hopefully this kid will be gone soon enough. I’d say he’s the second coming of Sanjaya (in a different way than Jermaine), but he’s simply too forgettable to even make that much of an impression.
Getting things back on track was Tim Urban, who was decidedly improved over last week. Gone were those shaky, cat-friendly falsettos. In its place was a perfectly lovely version of “C’mon Get Higher” that felt sincere and sweet and totally enjoyable. I liked this performance greatly, and I was a bit perplexed when Randy and Ellen gave Timmy Urbs mediocre marks at best. Ellen was actually quite scathing, saying that Tim should go into acting and be known as that guy who can “sing a little bit.” Ouch. Thankfully, Simon was there to correct things as he praised T to the U up and down, calling the performance “great” (I believe). Sometimes that Simon really knows what he’s talking about.
Closing out the show was Lee Dewyze, who chose the apt tune “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder. I feel like this guy has oodles of potential, but damn he likes to miss notes. Lee goes flat and sharp as frequently as Kara obnoxiously mouths along to songs, and as we all know, that’s a lot. For whatever reason though, the judges give him a total pass. Now I get that with rockers, they don’t have to have perfect voices, but seriously, this dude is all over the map. I’m optimistic that he’ll get better and better, but until then, I don’t think he deserves a free pass.
What did you think about the guys last night? Who was your favorite? Least favorite? Who should go home?