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I was bored today; so I decided to return to one of my favorite hobbies: mashing up the Real Housewives with random photos. This post’s theme: animals! (courtesy of Boston.com)
I probably have too much time on my hands…

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“Brrrrr!!! It’s too cold for this polar bear! It’s like my mama always say, burrr brrrr grerrrr rerrr merrr mrrr rrrruuhh hhhurrr I-I-Fly above! gguhh rrarrr errr caaaah!”

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“I wish I could be that dog. Except instead of being sprayed by snow, I want to be sprayed with MONEY. And instead of being a dog, I want to be ME. Getting sprayed with MONEY!”

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“WELL LET ME TELL YOU about frogs. Things start off great — you’re friends and hugging on lilly pads and everything. But then one day, you get fat, your frog husband starts drinking, and next thing you know, you’re headed down the road to divorce. It’s what happens.”

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“Oh look. The turtles are here. They’re all waiting to get into my Independence Party. I’m very popular with turtles, you know. They all love my signature collection, Turtle by Turtleé.”

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“Let me tell you a somethin’ about grizzly bears: they’re as thick as thieves, and they’ll bellow at each other ’til the end!”

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“You know what you did, grizzly bears! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!”

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“Oh my God. This bee is pollinating. Kill me now. Seriously, put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.”

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“I’m proud to reveal the newest employees of Hartwell & Associates: a flock of cranes!”

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“Two seals arguing? Not on the rocks!! NEVER ON THE ROCKS!!!!”

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“Brielle! BRIELLE! Get me some chardonnay and Parliaments. Momma’s watchin’ an owl eat a chick. BRIIIIEEELLLLE!!!!!”

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“Hey, look. I’m a parrot too! Is the air conditioning on?”

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“No, I don’t like this. It’s inappropriate. The lemur thinks the stuffed animal is his mother. It’s not right. No, you know what it is? It’s sick. It’s very sick. This lemur has no class.”

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“Kangaroos might come younger, but they don’t come hotter!”

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“I mean, I’m not a kangaroo, but if I were, I’d certainly be the HOT kangaroo!”

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“Get me out of this basket, you PROSTITUTION WHOOO-AHH!!!!!”

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“Simon and I do this very same move every night before bed!”

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“BAM! It’s a timid deer!”

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“Monkey, you need to chill out. Just chill out. Chill.”

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“Monkey, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. STOP. STop…. stop.”

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“Listen, monkey. You’re here, and I’m HERE. Okay?”

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“You know what this hippo needs? Five nannies. And Jesus.”

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“I never said I had sex with this moose. I only gave him oral. Pay attention, PUH-LEASE!”

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“BAAAWWWBY!! Get AAALLLLI. The girAAAAAAFFE is kissing an ostrich! BAAWWWBBY!!!”

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“Hey look! It’s Jeana! And she met another Jeana! I’m just kidding. That’s mean. But it’s funny how her last name DOES sound like ‘cow.’ Just kidding!!! Love you, Jeana!!!”

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“These cubs are so cute, I just want to give them a squeeze and buy them a BRAND NEW RANGE ROVER.”

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“WELL, this lizard is certainly not a gentleman!”

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“Looks like this tiger wants the meat. Hoo-hahahah! WAH-HAHAAHA! WWWWWOOOOOOO-HAAAAA HHAAAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!”

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“Was this in BASS LAKE?? I KNEW IT!!!”

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“This is what happens when Grandma Wrinkles gets mad.”

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“BAM! It’s an underwater adventure!”

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“I would never go anywhere without my tiger husband.”

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“Tiger, just stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. STOP. STOP.”

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“Did somebody say MONEY? No? You said ‘tiger’? Oh. I thought you said MONEY; so I drove my car made of MONEY over here to see what all the MONEY was about.”

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“You gave the tiger meat? YOU GAVE THE TIGER MEAT??? PROSTITUTION-WHOOOAH!!!!”

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“You KNOW what that tiger did! YOU KNOW!”

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“Hi, I’m Andy Cohen.”

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“And I’m Padma Lakshmi.”

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“And I’m Gail Simmons, new hostess of Top Chef: Just–“

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“And I’m Padma Lakshmi.”

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“Whatever happened to… customer service?”

12 replies on “'Real Housewives' Visit Nature!”

  1. hahahaha, these were awesome! My two favorite:
    “Get me out of this basket, you PROSTITUTION WHOOO-AHH!!!!!”
    “I never said I had sex with this moose. I only gave him oral. Pay attention, PUH-LEASE!”
    LOVE IT!

  2. OMG!
    You must have been laughing hysterically the whole time you were creating these mashups!
    Thanks for that. I love Padma re-introducing herself over and over!

  3. These were great. My fave was Tamra flipping out on Gretchen – was this at Bass Lake? I KNEW IT!
    Plus Caroline crying and telling the tigers and bears they KNOW what they did.
    And Padma. Thats was the icing on the cake!

  4. Ooooooonly on Braaaaahhvo!, at ten, nine eeeeentrahhhl
    This is genius. I laughed. Hard. Esp. the Kelly, Teresa and Carolyn stuff.

    “Bravo!”

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