ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Pizza, Ribs, and Football Edition

Last night was not only the season premiere of Monday Night Football, but it also marked the triumphant return of Tom Brady, who played his first regular season game since nearly having his knee utterly destroyed last year in the season opener. As you can imagine, this was a thrilling occasion for my friend IndianJones, who one might describe as a borderline Tom Brady stalker (I swear he must have a sticky little shrine devoted to the man somewhere in his apartment). Anyway, IndianJones’s tail had been wagging all weekend, and since ESPN was due to air a double-header of games (Pats vs. Bills followed by Chargers vs. Raiders), I thought his head might just explode from excitement. It was going to be a big night of football, and as such, we realized we were gonna need some food to help us get through the festivities. Normally, as per our football tradition, we’d just grab sandwiches from Subway or something like that, but this was the first MNF of the season, and more importantly, TAWM BRADY’S WICKED AWESOME RETURN. This called for something special (normally I wouldn’t care about Brady… buuuut he IS the QB on one of my fantasy teams; so I must confess to having a vested interest).
Anyway, to celebrate this landmark evening of pigskin splendor, IndianJones and I decided to make some football staples: pizza and ribs. And of course, I documented it all. The full experience after the jump…

We decided to start off with the pizza, which we could eat during the first game. Here are some of the ingredients — mozzarella, pizza sauce, pizza dough, a vodka bottle for rolling. Fear not: the Heart to Heart cereal was not used. It was merely a healthy interloper to the mise en place.

IndianJones showing off his stupid Pats t-shirt.

Fresh & Easy cheesy puffs to snack on during the game.

In an effort to display the thoroughness of his Masshole personality, IndianJones happily poses with a bottle of Boston’s finest beer, Sam Adams.

The first game begins.

Since I’ll be on ribs duty, I make IndianJones pizza president. Here he is reading the instructions on the Fresh & Easy pizza dough.

IndianJones flours the work surface. A bit too lightly if you ask me…

And now IndianJones flours the “rolling pin.”

Kneading. IndianJones expressed confusion as to how to handle the pizza dough. I told him to pretend it was just naan. He felt much more comfortable from that point on.

IndianJones rolls out the dough. He had issues with the edges, and dammit, he kept rolling from the outside in. I had to correct his technique MANY times.

Time to transfer the dough…

Unfortunately, the middling amounts of flour on the work surface came back to haunt IndianJones. The dough proved resistant to moving. Odd prying ensued.

Finally, IndianJones gets the dough on the baking sheet. Sadly, I have neither a pizza stone nor a round sheet; so we much adjust the dough to an oblong shape. In retrospect, we should have used the broiling pan, as it is large and square. ALAS.

IndianJones proudly displays the dough. It’s sure to become the Tom Brady of pizza crusts.

Time to add the Fresh & Easy pizza sauce.

The Great Pizza Adventure of 2009 comes to a sudden halt when IndianJones hears the first mention of Tom Brady on the television.

Freshly minced garlic goes atop the pizza sauce. This proves to be a stellar addition.

Next goes some fresh mozzarella.

And prosciutto. Should’ve added basil too. Totes forgot.

About twelve minutes later, IndianJones pulls the pizza out of the oven. It looks quite stellar.

A triumph!

Oh, but we weren’t done yet.

To make it really fancy, we added arugula.

Now that’s a pizza worthy of Tom Brady’s return, not to mention Terrell Owen’s first game on the Bills. Of course, Tom Brady was rusty, and T.O. was a nonfactor; so I guess that’s not saying much.

A few slices of The Majesty (which is what I just named our pizza).

Once we’d consumed the pizza — which was delicious, I might add — it was time to move on to the ribs. Here’s a three pound slab of baby backs. $12 at Fresh & Easy, my favorite supermarket (in case you couldn’t tell).

I season it with salt, pepper, and olive oil. There was vigorous rubbing.

The ribs then went into the oven at 250 degrees. Then it was time to start the sauce, which began with some fresh thyme, plucked from my very own balcony herb garden!

I then wrapped two slices of bacon around the thyme, as per Tyler Florence’s instructions (this was his recipe, I should note).

The bacon-thyme bundle then went into some heated olive oil. Glorious odors emanated forth.

After about five minutes of bacon frying / intoxicating fumes, I then added three cloves of crushed garlic and half an onion. There was mild drama as the onion, despite being placed QUITE gingerly into the saucepan, caused an explosion of hot oil which scalded my poor finger. Luckily, the injury was minor and no salves were needed.

After another five minutes of cooking, I then added two cups (!) of ketchup, some cumin, some smoked paprika, some molasses, some vinegar, some dijon mustard, and some brown sugar. It all simmered together for about twenty minutes on a low flame.

Once the sauce was done, I reserved a little in a bowl and basted the ribs with it. No pictures were taken of this process, but here’s a shot of IndianJones on basting duty thirty minutes later.

It should be noted that IndianJones was quite opposed to over-basting as he felt it would retard the cooking time of our ribs. I, however, was pro-baste. I won’t say that we came to blows over the issue, but there CERTAINLY was tension.

In between bastings adventures, we continued to watch football. Here’s IndianJones jumping up with excitement after Tom Brady scored a touchdown.

And here’s IndianJones continuing to ride the wave of excitement that is Patriots football.

And he’s spent.

Meanwhile, I sneak in another basting. The ribs are looking quite good. Oddly enough, the recipe called for them to cook for a scant ninety minutes in the oven. I can assure you that time is way off. We ultimately cooked them for three hours and fifteen minutes, turning the temperature up to 275 after the first hour and a half.

Meanwhile, it was on to game #2 of the evening. Note the presence of my LaDainian Tomlinson bobblehead.

Further basting.

That’s good baste!

Here I am attempting to flip over the ribs. I had very poor technique.

IndianJones tests the meat with a toothpick. Still too much resistance. It returns to the oven for twenty-five more minutes.

FInally, after three hours and fifteen minutes (as previously noted), the ribs are tender and ready.

Macro shot!

HOWEVER, before we can dig into the ribs, there’s one more step: gotta broil it on both sides — three minutes on the top, two on the bottom. Here we are waiting.

As it’s IndianJones’s turn to baste, he is charged with flipping the ribs too. Plus, he’s a much better rib flipper than I am. When I attempted to do so, I was met with the hostile response, “BE A MAN!”

Ribs have been successfully flipped.

Basting, begrudgingly.

Two minutes later and out of the broiler, the ribs looks fairly amazing.

IndianJones assumes the role of butcher.

My (first) portion of ribs, which were slathered with the bbq sauce moments later. They were so amazing that no further photos were taken. Instead there was just a whole lot of nom nom nom.

So the verdict? Well, aside from being treated to two exciting football games, we certainly cleaned up in the food department too. The pizza was great and tasted delicious, but the real star were those ribs. IndianJones and I pretty much sat in silence as we devoured them, occasionally surfacing to gush about how GOOD the ribs were. They were juicy, smokey, flavorful, succulent — the list could go on. We were both shocked at how well they turned out, especially for a first-time recipe. Usually there are some tweaks that need to be made, but not this time. It was a grand slam. If I make these again — and I most likely will — I might even experiment with the sauce. Maybe add a bit more spice, maybe even sriracha to the mix. The possibilities are endless.
Oh, and let’s not forget the cheese doodles. A major plus too. The only thing that was missing from the night was dessert. Oh well. Maybe next time.
For those interested in making the ribs, check out the recipe here. Again, remember to adjust the cook time accordingly (about three hours — boost the temp to 275 midway through). We also did not include peach preserves in our sauce, and it tasted just fine.