BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Week of Craziness Draws to a Close

And so the amazing week that was on Big Brother is over. Chima is gone, her alliance has been decimated, and now we’re left with the “good people” in the majority. Hallelujah. So now what? It’s the unfortunate paradox of reality TV. If the people you hate stay in power, you’re stuck in agony. If the people you love prove to be triumphant, then you’re bored. That’s why season six was so utterly amazing. The constant swinging of the pendulum — along with Janelle’s resiliency — was nothing short of captivating television. Don’t get me wrong, I am still mighty high on this season now. I’m just experiencing the first stages of “coming down” off my high.

As expected, Lydia was sent packing last night, making her the last cast member I truly found insufferable. Natalie is pretty damn annoying too, but for some reason she simply doesn’t grate me the same way as Lydia. I’m sure that will change over the course of the next week. For a moment I feared she and Lydia and Kevin were going to work a number on Jeff and Jordan with their Michele & Russell lie. I would have hated to see them succeed, and yet… I would have done the same thing as them. For years, I’ve told people that if I were on a show and if the chips were down, I’d simply create a magnificent lie that would serve merely to plant a seed of doubt in someone’s head (just like Natalie said — ugh). Jordan ultimately won the veto and kept the nominations the same, but had Lydia or Natalie taken themselves off the block, I do wonder if Jeff and Jordan would have back doored Russell. I guess we’ll never know.
There was some other observation I was simply DYING to write about, but I”ve sadly forgotten what it was; so let’s just move onto the photos…

“She told me I’m a pawn. Like I’m supposed to believe that. Who does she think I am? Some impressionable eighteen year old girl??? WHICH I AM!!!”

“Hey, check it out. It’s a bare mattress. That’s why they call me Shotgun No Sheets Russell the Love Muscle!”

Julie: “Kevin, any luck finding that ring you’re always talking about?”
Kevin: “MY PRECIOUS!!!!”

“UGH. I’m so OVER whoring myself out!”

“God, I hate Jessie.”
“He’s such a bastard. Totally playing us against each other.”
“Totally.”
[silence]
“I’m so gonna do him.”
“Me too.”
“HE’S MINE, BITCH!”

“Jefffff, they’re all conspiring against you. If you don’t believe me, I’m gonna have to put my hands on my face!”

“Settle down, Maggie Seaver.”

“YOU GUYSSS! HE BELIEVES ME!!!”

“Hi Dad! I’ve missed you so much! I haven’t missed you this much since I went away to college, which I never did on account of me having just graduated from high school a scant two months ago. Just look at my overactive imagination. Typical of a youthful teen, WHICH I AM!”

“You must hate seeing all these people saying such awful things about your daughter. I mean, who would pick on an innocent teenage girl? WHICH I AM.”

“Natalie, I know how old you are. You can’t fool your father, WHO I AM.”

“Jordan, I’d appreciate it if you used the Veto power on me because at the ripe young age of eighteen, my youthful world outlook informs me that people are inherently good and do sacrificial things, especially for helpless teenagers, WHICH I AM.”

“Just call me Shotgun Lydia Voter Outer Russell The Love Muscle.”

“Yay! I’m free and released!!!!”

“UGH. I’m so OVER being free and released.”

“To Awfulness, and Beyond!!!”

C:\ CHENBOT> [pregnant] pivot \ right.
; error
; error
; unexpected bench presence

“You guyyyssss…. It’s not working! Can you just tryyy to help? Pleeeeasse??”

“Damn, this is tricky. It’s a good thing I’m known as Shotgun Precision Can Dropper Russell the Love Muscle.”