I am in a time crunch; so I can’t really go on at length about last night’s delightful Top Chef Masters. All I will say is that I was most unhappy with the winner, who seemed to be using his camera time to audition for his own Andy Cohen produced show. The histrionics and annoying jokes were simply insufferable. Boo! Oh well.
Onto the pictures!!
“Damn Waxman not giving me any shellfish. Asshole bastard…”
Gael: “I quite enjoyed Art’s whimsical nod to Southern fried decadence. It was reminiscent of the late forties when a young Spirrow Agnew and I, intoxicated by fumes of opium and elderberries, stumbled into a Chick-Fil-A and demanded that the proprietor feed us nothing but breaded cutlets of his finest meats. We made love five times that night. Six, if you count the fan dance.”
Gail: “I loved all the courses, but I still don’t know why people kept scraping their leftovers onto my plate.”
Gael: “It’s because you eat like the wild buffalo of Zanzibar.”
Gail: “No, I don’t.”
Gael: “Oh, she’s delusional, bless her heart.”
“OH MY GOD! THIS IS AMAZING!!! Wait, were the cameras rolling? No? Okay, let me know when they are. Now? OHHHH MYYYY GODDDD!!!! I AM OVERWHELMED WITH PURE, UNCALCULATED EMOTION!! Imagine if I had my own Bravo show? I’d act like this ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME.“
“Ugh, I’m so bored with you, audience.”
“Sometimes I can’t help but think how wonderful it would be if I had my own Bravo show. Oh, did I say that out loud? I’m sorry. And here you must have assumed I was thinking about the time I cooked for the King Of Sweden and Barack Obama, WHICH I DID.”
“Wait a second — this is a bowl, right? I haven’t cooked in so long…”
Art: “This meal is absolutely deeelicious! It reminds me of the time I cooked for Oprah and President Barack Obama. Did I mention that? Because there was this one time I cooked for Oprah and Barack Obama. Man, if only I had a Bravo TV show then! That would have been quite the episode. They’d probably call it the ‘Art Has Cooked For Oprah and President Barack Obama’ episode.”
Art: “Michael, thank you so much for coming onto my Bravo audition. It’s an honor to cook with you. Almost as much of an honor as it was to cook for President Barack Obama.”
Gael: “James, I certainly do NOT appreciate you tipping my hat forward.”
James: “It wasn’t me. It was Gail. I give her THREE STARS for that prank.”
Gael: “Oh please. I know it wasn’t her. She’s spent the past five hours face-down in a pile of jellybeans.”
Poor Roy sucked.
Jonathan calling Art “honey” and “honeybear” was quite endearing & funny.
It should be a killer finale. It was be awesome if the meal was to be served/judged by all the winners of TC.
I was going to say something about what I would like in my box .. but it’s just too easy.
hb
I was not happy with the results. The only person who finds Art amusing is Art. And perhaps Oprah and PRESIDENT Barack Obama. But that’s it.
i was disappointed too. i’ve enjoyed art when he’s been on oprah and i’ve heard his restaurant is amazing (though come to think of it, i’ve only heard that from oprah…), but he was quite the self-promotional bitch last night. i loved his comment, “what i’ve learned from cooking for people like OPRAH, and OBAMA, and the KING OF SWEDEN, is if you love what you do, they will love your food.” really? that was something you could only learn from cooking for famous people??
photoblogs are cool and i maintain at least two of them~-,
actually, the best type of blog is the photoblog because pictures speak a thousand words ::