The “It Don’t Matter If You’re Black or White” Cookie.
WIth millions of people around the world paying their last respects to Michael Jackson today, I felt it only appropriate to chime in with my own special tribute to the King of Pop. And what better way to pay homage than by cooking up some black and white cookies in honor of MJ’s music, appeal, and, well, skin color. Consider this my loving sendoff.
First I blend together some buttermilk and vanilla.
In another bowl I mix flour, salt, and baking soda.
I place softened butter in a third bowl. But you are not alone, butter. I also add sugar.
I then mix together the butter and sugar. Some might even say that I BEAT IT.
Note the ink that’s smudging off my hand mixer. What sort of crappy device is this anyway? Oh yeah, I paid $6.00 for it. BAD indeed.
I add an egg to the batter and mix until it’s smooth. Smooth like a criminal.
I then incorporate the flour and the buttermilk mixtures alternatively. I don’t stop ’til I get enough. And I get enough when I’ve exhausted both supplies. I know this is fascinating to you. A real THRILLER, if you will.
I wanna be startin’ bakin’; so I scoop the batter onto a cookie tray. It’s really as easy as ABC. Perhaps even 1-2-3.
Sixteen minutes later, we have seven pretty young things ready to cool down.
Now it’s time to start the frosting. In this bowl is a mix of confectioners sugar, vanilla extract, lemon juice, water, and corn syrup. It’s not the healthiest thing around, but THE KID IS NOT MY SON. Okay, that was a stretch.
Chalk it up to HUMAN NATURE, but I forgot to take pictures of the frosting before applying it to the cookies. When I realized this, I just wanted to SCREAM. Claaassic BEN.
Here’s the batch after I’ve attempted to frost them. I’m not particularly skilled in this area. I’m like a regular DIRTY DIANA, what with my sloppiness.
Ultimately though, there are a few passable cookies. The way they make me feel is very good.
I just can’t stop loving these cookies. And in conclusion: heal the world — which we are, incidentally.
I apologize for all the preceding awful puns. It’s the form my grief has taken.
I applaud your use of Michael songs/puns. A fitting tribute to the King of Pop, indeed!
Look to the cookie.
so brilliant and clever. Thanks, this is exactly what I needed to see after watching poor little Paris
Your creativity never ceases to amaze me. And how appropriate, cookies, MJ did love his sweets.
I *love* black and white cookies…when I make them they never turn out. What’s your secret?
Oh yes, and nice job with the puns. 🙂
I LOVED the puns B!
your cookies are off the wall!
All I wanna say is that I don’t really care about these cookies.
(OK not really, but I think you used up all the good songs. It makes me wanna scream.)
the next time you look at the man in the mirror, i hope you pat yourself on the back. job well done!
I will always REMEMBER THE TIME I laughed after seeing this blog post. I want to ROCK WITH YOU, tasty black and white cookies.
Cookies are like Diprivan to me.
hb
B Side, I think YOU should be the Next Food Network Star. The variety of ethnic foods, the commitment to locally grown produce (i.e. the windowsill), and now you have added thematic treats as tributes to dead celebrities! I would watch religiously.
Only a true Ben could give Michael the send off he deserved. WTG.
Best MJ themed domestic adventure photocap EVER.
OK, B, the awkwardness of the Wii boxing video is forgotten and I love you again. I’ve been so over all the MJ madness, but this still made me laugh. You rock.
Say, say, say – that’s a mighty funny post you’ve got there, B-Side. Thanks for brightening up an otherwise boring afternoon at work!
You’re a clever one, B. Loved the puns.
I’m obsessed with black and white cookies. I’m also currently into all things MJ. I apprecaite the post.
Brilliant cooking lesson brought to you courtesy of B-Side’s mother — C-Side.
Ebony & Ivory — go together in perfect harmony…why is it that everyone who sings with Paul is dead?
Aunt Jeannie — don’t worry. Stevie Wonder is still alive.
Bside…you basically just killed Stevie Wonder