BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Someone Needs To Shake Up This High School

It’s sad that the only way I can seem to do photocaps these days is if I wait for the one time a week when CBS posts pics from the HOH’s digital camera. Alas, that’s the best we can get; so I guess I’ll make the most of it. Actually, there are some amusing trends when it comes to these HOH pics. When Jessie is in power, most of the pictures tend to be of him flexing his muscles or hoisting people over his head. There are, of course, pictures of other people, but they too tend to be making silly poses and/or showing off their guns, which leads me to believe that Jessie must be prompting them from behind the camera. I guess there’s nothing wrong with that, but I can imagine that Jessie must think its a riot every time he commands a fellow houseguest to flex their glutes (Russell, it would seem, requires no prompting though).
Anyway, pictures be damned, there’s a lot to discuss in Big Brother these days. It seems as though the Athletes really are running the show, but that’s really only because their opponents don’t appear to have any ability to shake up the game with some old fashioned scheming. The single biggest error that contestants or alliances make is that they become complacent and simply assume a certain outcome will follow. There’s really no better example than the joint brain trust of Jeff, Jordan, Michele, and Casey, who simply assumed that Ronnie would go up as a replacement nominee during the Veto ceremony. Sure, Jessie may have alluded to that, but in Big Brother, no one’s word can be taken at face value. The key is to ensure that the outcome works your way. Had it been me, I would have started several rumors about Ronnie targeting Jessie — enough to make him paranoid and place the rotund videogamer on the chopping block. Casey, who sniffed out that something was afoot and then later discovered that he may be a target, should have instantly brewed up trouble. Instead, he just made a lot of noise in his fake ‘hood accent — ultimately accomplishing nothing.
That’s sort of the problem with this season, it turns out. After a fiery first week and an interesting second one, I’m starting to fear that these people might not be shrewd enough or crazy enough to deliver the sort of sustained highs and good times we saw last season. True, the show is young, but there is a lacking quality that has emerged. I actually pin it on casting. There’s a major lack of crazy mommies (Libra), middle-aged ladies (Sheila), and old coots (Renny, Jerry). Variety in ages makes a huge difference, and while marketing may suggest that a younger cast is better, I think we all know that having a generational mix is the way to go. Still, the game is young, and good cast or bad, we all know it’s gonna start ramping up soon.
In the meantime, pictures…

“Being the active eighteen-year-old that I am, it’s important that I get plenty of sleep so that I can embrace my teenage years with full energy!”

“ME WANT THREESOME!”

Jeff: “I’m going to slurp the technotronic off of you!”
Jordan: “This is quarter past a crazy!”

Michele: “Just another lovely day in the pool.”
Jeff: “Spelled P-O-O-L-E. What? I’m not a good speller!”
Jordan: “What IS a clock anyway?”

Russell: “Oh look. My abs spontaneously all constricted when you took that photo.”

Jessie: “Oh look. My abs spontaneously all constricted when you took that photo.”

“Wooohoo! Time to party! P-A-A-R-V-T-I-N-Y!!! What? I’m not a good speller.”

“TECHNOTRONIC MONSTER! IT HAS MY LEG!!!”

“Gggnaaahhh!!! Tell my mother… I’m… not… a… good… speller!!!”

“Oh hi. I’m just here posin’. I’m like a poser. Hey, that’s a good nickname. I think I’ll call myself that. Shotgun Poser Russell the Love Muscle!”

Lydia: “Oh, I hope Jessie DOES ME in the Paul Frank tattoo!”

Natalie: “Wow. Lying in bed with a boy. I’m giddy, just as one might expect from an eighteen year old girl who has had limited interaction with the opposite sex — on account of her youth, WHICH I HAVE.”

Lydia: “Doesn’t my humpback look sexy on a horizontal plane?”

“We certainly showed Braden who’s the racist around here!”

“I love you, unicorn. We always have such great talks. I think it’s because you respect me so much.”

“WHAT? America hates us??? But we’re so deliberate with our personalities!!!!”

“We’re awful!”

Jessie: “Look over there!”
Kevin: “What is it?”
Lydia: “I don’t see anything.”
Jessie: “It’s a door.”
Kevin: “And?”
Jessie: “That’s it.”
Kevin: “Oh.”
Lydia: “DO ME.”

Kevin: “My goal this summer was to take one photo that would haunt me forever. Mission accomplished.”

Ronnie: “I wonder how I can be awful this week.”
Jessie: “I wonder what tin foil is made of.”

“Whoever drew all these awful doodles on my body when I was sleeping is gonna get it. Oh wait. They’re my tattoos. Never mind!”

“Get out of my face! I’m trying to sleep, and if you keep waking me up, I’m gonna punch you in the face, much as a petulant teenager such as myself would do. I’m just so impulsive and lacking in maturity, on account of my youth.”