ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Sticky Short Ribs, Celery Root Purée, and Chocolate Tofu Pudding Edition

It’s been a while since I’ve done an Adventure in Domesticity, but I figured that with the debut of The Next Food Network Star last night (starring one of my all-time favorite reality show judges, Susie Fogelson), I owed it to myself and the Food Network to whip up a meal based almost exclusively on their recipes. On the menu: five-spice sticky short ribs (courtesy of Aida Mollenkamp), celery root purée (courtesy of Anne Burrell and a dash of Ina Garten), and a chocolate tofu pudding (courtesy of Food Network foe Mark Bittman). Yes, it was quite the undertaking, but I felt confident I could do it.
So was I able to pull off this endeavor? Or would I be on the receiving end of a classic (read: ICY) Susie Fogelson zinger? Pictures after the jump…

Things start off with my boneless short ribs, which I season liberally with salt and five-spice powder. Recipe calls for bone-in, but I only had this. So just deal with it, ASK AIDA.

Elsewhere in the kitchen, I had a bowl of sherry, oyster sauce, and brown sugar waiting for action.

You can’t really see it, but I’ve coated this dutch oven with vegetable oil, which is now rippling with heat. Fascinating, yes?

In go the short ribs. Let the searing begin!

After two minutes, I make the first flip. Looking quite, quite good so far. This picture really doesn’t do it justice.

A closer view. I’m already salivating.

Meanwhile, I prep some stuff for the next phase: six cloves of crushed garlic, a serrano pepper, and some ginger.

About six minutes later, the meat has been seared on all sides.

I temporarily remove the meat from the pot and resist the urge to just eat the short ribs then and there (they’re raw in the middle anyway; so such a binge would be ill-advised).

MEAT.

After having scooped out all but a tablespoon of drippings, I add the garlic, ginger, and pepper to the pot and let it sauté for about thirty or forty seconds. Aromas, etc.

Next I pour in that reserved bowl of brown liquid. Braising shall commence FORTHWITH!

As the liquid comes to a simmer, I get to work on the celery root purée. Here I’ve peeled the nasty skin off the aforementioned celeriac.

I should mention that this bad boy would have cost $6.00 at Ralph’s (!). I bought it for $1.46 (!!!) at Jon’s. And yes, those are our local supermarkets here in LA, not some random street peddlers with competing celery root inventories. Anyway, time to start chopping…

MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN!!!!

PHEW!!! I was getting woozy with all that blood loss. And for those wondering, the near-fatal pricking occurred when my hand slipped under the tip of the blade as I pressed it down the damn celery root. I knew that would happen too.

Life-threatening injuries be damned, I still manage to chop up three potatoes and put them in some cold water, soon to be boiled.

Celery root on standby.

So is an apple. This is the Ina touch (as suggested by JASH many months ago). I’m not chopping the apple until it’s ready to go into the water — oxidation and whatnot.

On the ribs front, the liquid has come to a simmer; so I return the meat to the pot from whence it came and then stick it in the oven at 375 degrees.

Well hello, melted chocolate. Looks like it’s time to make dessert.

Into the blender goes a block of silken (soft) tofu. I know what you may be thinking: chocolate tofu? TRUST.

This is seriously like the best dessert ever: it’s high in protein, low in fat and cholesterol, and most importantly, it tastes awesome. And no, that’s not using healthy standards. That’s using my sweet tooth standard.

Also, did I mention how easy it is to make? Just add about 8 oz. of melted chocolate (bittersweet or semisweet — the latter in this case) and about half to three-quarters of a cup of 1:1 simple syrup.

The original recipe calls for Mexican spices like chili powder or cinnamon. Wasn’t a huge fan. I like to use orange zest instead, as evidenced by the sudden appearance of my zester.

Meanwhile, the potatoes have now been in boiling water for about ten minutes. Time to add the celery root and apple. Shockingly, I did not cause further bleeding upon coring this Granny Smith.

All foodstuffs are reunited in their jacuzzi of joy.

While the tubers ‘n’ apples boil, I blend the tofu mixture until smooth. I then pour it into containers and place them into the fridge for a much needed and greatly welcomed cooling process.

I check in on the ribs after forty minutes have elapsed. Everything seems to be coming along nicely. After some meat flipping, I return the pot to the oven and continue to enjoy the odors that emanate forth.

I then spend the next thirty or forty minutes passing the now tender veggies through a food mill. I must be doing it wrong because it takes FOREVER. Spin spin spin reverse reverse spin push down push down spin. And repeat.

But in the end, I get a lovely purée. The recipe calls for butter and cream. I add half-and-half and Earth Balance. Might not be as rich as usual, but the difference is negligible.

After about forty more minutes, it’s time to flip the meat again. The liquid has reduced down to a syrup, and as per Aida’s instructions, I now have to actually raise the temperature of the oven to 400 degrees to induce further syrup-ization.

Twenty minutes later (during which I had to flip the meat about three or four times), the ribs are finally ready.

LACQUER!

Tra la la la!

Again, not doing terrible justice to how damn wonderful this all looked and smelled.

Macro photo!

And let’s not forget the pudding. Also delicious.

Unfortunately, it hadn’t quite set by the time I was ready for it, but it made for a great 10 PM snack.

And yes, there were plenty of dishes.

But overall, I give it two thumbs up. Way to go, ME.

Yes, this was a total success, and for all that food, it only took about two hours worth of time. The meat was totally delicious. It tasted very similar to the spare ribs at Chinese restaurants, and by the way, I LOVE THOSE SPARE RIBS. The only minor quibble was that the meat was ever so slightly overcooked. I attribute this to me forgetting to compensate for the lack of bones in these ribs (and that the recipe calls for 2.5 lbs of beef whereas I was probably closer to 1 or 1.5). Nevertheless, it’s not like these bad boys were dry. They just weren’t quite as perfectly moist as other batches of short ribs I’ve had in the past. Not a big deal.
The celery root purée, which I’ve made before, was also quite tasty. Granted, it’s more of an autumnal side, but I don’t really care about that. I needed something mushy to go with my short ribs, and they fit the bill perfectly well. And as for the chocolate tofu pudding, well, I’ve already gone on at length about that. I really can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s like some mix between pudding and mousse, and to quote Ina Garten, HOW BAD CAN THAT BE?
Anyway, I’m off to daydream about leftovers tonight. Fun times. Once again, here are the original recipes:
• Five-Spice Sticky Short Ribs
• Celery Root and Potato Purée (remember to add an apple for added depth of flavor)
• Mexican Chocolate Tofu Pudding