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You know, I never got around to doing a photocap of last week’s episode of The Hills, and I’ve yet to watch this week’s again (there was lots of loud yammering through it from my friends; so I missed about 70% of it), but I knew y’all wouldn’t be that upset at me because whenever I don’t recap The Hills, we get something infinitely more entertaining: the angry, mentally deranged rant of Dumb Bitch — a Hills fan like none other (either that or a very shrewd MTV employee). Here’s what she just wrote me:

Where is The Hills recap??? Quit posting all this other bullshit and put The Hills up!!! I know it was the holiday and all but you’re two episodes behind!!! CATCH THE FUCK UP!!! Don’t forget the season finale comes on Sunday at 8pm with the pre show at 7pm!!! YOU BETTER RECAP THIS SEASONS FINALE BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW YOU DIDN’T RECAP LAST YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, if this whoreface’s latest emotive plea isn’t enough for you, there’s a bonus screed after the jump…


Personally, I thought the following email was some sort of tongue-in-cheek commentary, but after the above babbling, I’m realizing that this girl is just crazy:

Why in the hell didn’t you blog about the new rap song “Get Me Out Of Here, I’m A Celebrity” by Spencer Pratt??? He is one fine rapper!!! He could be the next Eminem!!! You’re probably just jealous because you can’t rap like him or have a hot wife like Heidi Montag!!! You should check it out homie!!! It’s a hot song!!! They will be playing this song at all the clubs in Hollywood!!! “We keep it Gucci all the time on dem hoes, I get that lettuce and a phat bankroll”. That’s how we do it in the H.Wood town!!! “I don’t slip, I don’t trip, I flip homie whoo whoo”!!! Heidi and Spencer are the best and most glamourous couple in Hollywood!!!

Truer words were never spoken. Thank you, Dumb Bitch. You enlighten my life.

22 replies on “Dumb Bitch Strikes Again!”

  2. Clearly she is deranged. But seriously, where the fuck are the gossip girl and 24 recaps?!?!? Unfortunately, the shows I watch can’t compete with your fascination of real housewives 🙁

  3. Detective Christin is on the case, and I have found the culprit/s to be in this order…
    A) disSpenser – your 15 minutes of fame are up.
    B) disSpenser’s paid lackey’s.
    C) HeidiHo after another night of blow and horse faced tranquilizers.
    D) All of the above plus Copy/Paste artiste Perez.

  5. There she goes again with her perfect sets of 3 punctuation marks at a time. I have to believe this is a joke, because no serious person would be that meticulous. Besides, it’s common knowledge that Spencer is the tooliest tool that ever tooled, so this person may very well be Spencer’s future guest on Dateline “friend”, Charlie.

  6. I love crazy ass bitches who abuse punctuation marks.
    . ? ! : · ; · – · — · ( ) · [ ] . . . ‘ “ ” …
    hb

  7. I will cosing Firecat’s comment. Where are the 24 and Gossip Girl recaps?????????????????????????????????????????? or at least some commentary.
    By the way, you know Spencer is the one that’s writing those emails.

  9. Bside The Hills is now a dried up turd of a show! That Dumb Bitch still has way too much time on my hands and is from the family of Awful People & you are likely to run into her on one of your next flights.
    Shut up Dumb Bitch and go away! Bside quit giving this stupid turd lovin’ ho the attention.

  10. B, I pity you since you don’t have a hot wife like Heidi Montag. This must be so hard for you.

  11. B-Side, you absolutely must delay your Hills recaps for as long as possible. Do you really want to stop getting Dumb Bitch’s email? Seriously!!!!!!!
    Does she really think that you will appease her if she continues?
    Unbelievable.

  12. Have to agree with Karo. This is a fairly obvious troll, at least at this point. I’ll still reserve the possibility that the initial email was real and the subsequent emails have been backpedals to make the entire thread a joke, but either way it’s transparent at this point.

  13. B, I wish you would publish her email address and let us all have a go at her. I call dibs on ruining her credit.

  15. While this crazy bitch is a crazy bitch, I must admit I check your site every day for your Hills recaps. They are the best. Don’t stop doing them just because some wing nut is bothering you. There are plenty of people who are patiently awaiting your snark (because we realize you have a life and much more fun things to do other than recap the hills- but you do it so well!).

  16. “We keep it Gucci all the time on dem hoes, I get that lettuce and a phat bankroll”. That’s how we do it in the H.Wood town!!! “I don’t slip, I don’t trip, I flip homie whoo whoo”
    I dont even know what that means!

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