“Huh?”
A funny thing happened on the way to the Upper East Side last night: the writers of Gossip Girl decided to do something with Nate for once. That’s right, the woeful Vanderbilt heir finally got to do something more than just make out with awful Vanessa or moan about tomatoes. He had a whole episode focused on him, and I, for one, was relieved  not because I have any sort of jonesing for Nate, but more because his character finally seemed headed back to where it should be: a proudly entitled preppy rich kid. Enough slumming with the BoHo crowd. Between Vanessa, Dan, and Jenny, we have plenty of have-nots. Nate needs to be with the haves. After all, Chuck can’t be the only male rich kid to represent his demographic, especially since he’s not even womanizing anymore.
Of course, I don’t expect Nate’s ascension back into high society to last terribly long. These shows have a way of demonizing the upper class, implying that enjoying any of the creature comforts of wealth is inherently bad. Never mind that the only reason we watch this show is to ogle at the blue bloods, not to hate on them. Nevertheless, for now, Nate seems upwardly mobile, and not even Vanessa, who famously wrecks EVERYTHING, could wreck this. I was shocked, honestly. When Nate started hanging out with Grandfather (The General, perhaps?), Vanessa immediately began laying the guilt on him â€â€Ã‚ she doesn’t want him to get sucked into the family, doesn’t want him to be a clone like cousin Trip, doesn’t want him to abandon her pierogies, doesn’t want him to skip out on a summer in Eastern Europe. This whole story had Vanessa Wrecker written all over it. Clearly Nate would reenter the Vanderbilt fold, be given some great opportunity (ie. interning at the Mayor’s office), and then he would give it all up to be with Vanessa and her awful documentary film (which seems to be in a perpetual state of vagueness).
But get this: just when I thought Vanessa would WRECK it, she didn’t! Nate overruled her and opted to stand by Grandfather and the rest of the Vanderbilts. Score one for noble births! Vanessa was left to do nothing else but go crying back to Dan and Jenny, the latter of whom could use a worthwhile story (next week she appears to be throwing a party that gets out of control; so I back that). Anyway, speaking of Dan, he was back to his miserable old self. He joined Nate and Vanessa on a tour of Grandfather’s mansion (cough, third wheel, cough) and spent the entire time snickering about entitlement. Listen, I don’t care what sort of semi-Marxist, down with the class system outlook you have, the Vanderbilts are a historical family  walking through their estates is like walking through a museum. In fact, many of their estates ARE museums. And yes, I realize I’m yelling at a fake person about a fake trip to a fake Vanderbilt house, but the point is, Dan’s character is so obnoxious sometimes that I question whether the writers know how terrible he comes off in nearly every scene he’s in. I think we’re supposed to find him endearing or charming or representative of normal people, but he’s just a dick. Of course, that could also be the fault of Penn Badgely, an actor who so far hasn’t been able to inject Dan with too much likability (counterpoint: Adam Brody as Seth Cohen).
Well, while Dan acted like a douche, Blair was all over the map. Admittedly, her storyline was a bit forced this episode. The premise was that after having been rejected from Yale, she realized that she didn’t have to maintain this perfect image anymore, and thus Bad Blair emerged. But Bad Blair was kind of more like Blah Blair (not to be confused with Blair Bear). Blair pulled a Marissa Cooper and stole some sunglasses, but that didn’t really result in anything story-wise. She also made out with Carter, who we saw making the moves on her at the end of last episode, but again, that plot twist fizzled out in the first fifteen minutes when the writers shipped him off to Dubai after Serena threatened to reveal all about some illicit experience in Santorini (murder #2, perhaps?). Seemed kind of silly to base a whole episode cliffhanger on Blair and Carter shacking up only to drop it so quickly, but I guess maybe the execs at the CW weren’t really digging it.
Either way, Bad Blair then went off to a sketchy party in some tenement, and this of course alarmed Chuck, who had just washed his hands clean of an Eyes Wide Shut soiree storyline one episode prior. Luckily for everyone, the sordid gathering was nothing more than a groveling session between Blair and the Dean of Sarah Lawrence. Gotta love the utter disdain Blair had afterwards as she realized she had sunken so low  not by groveling, but by entertaining the notion of Sarah Lawrence. But alas, just as there was no room for her in New Haven, there was no room for her in Bronxville, and Blair had to succumb to the mortifying notion that she might have to go to some wretched alternative (SUNY Purchase, perhaps? They have a lovely campus designed in the Auschwitz-chic school of modernism!).
Well, in her depression, Blair decided to go down in a giant ball of flames at a Vanderbilt party (kind of seemed out of character, depression be damned), and eventually, after she dissed a few people, she wound up in a cold room, and who should appear but Nate. He was disillusioned with Vanessa; Blair was disillusioned with college; and the two reignited their spark as they reminisced on their old relationship when things seemed so much easier. (Personally, I would have liked Nate to have gone after Serena again as that was his main source of pining in season one). Anyway, one thing led to another, and at the end of the episode, Chuck dropped by the Waldorf townhouse, only to find Nate’s blazer â€â€Ã‚ replete with an unmistakable Vanderbilt crest  lying on a chair in the living room. Were Nate and Blair hooking up? That was left ambiguous. All we do know is that there’ll be another Nate & Chuck war; so that’s always fun.
Meanwhile, I’m happy to report that Lilly is back, and she spent the episode in her own special show: The “How Do We Hide The Fact That Kelly Rutherford Is Pregnant” Variety Hour. Yes, Lilly appeared seated in every single scene, with various items covering her tummy: a laptop, a pillow, a blanket, etc. etc.. Really, she and Rufus need to have (another) love child just so we can see the poor woman walk around again.
Nevertheless, Lilly and Rufufth pretty much wiled away the hours with a benign, if useless, plot about trusting each other. You see, after the mysterious Bex returned out of the ether and informed Lilly that she and Rufus totally DID IT last year, Lilly got all jealous and demanded that lists be drawn up of former lovers. Unfortunately for Lil, turns out she was way more of a slut than Rufus was, and when it came time to share lists, she only handed over her first thirty bangs, quietly omitting the other two or three pages of tricks. Of course, Rufus eventually found out, and he tried to guilt her Dan Humphrey style, but Lilly totally pwned him as she quickly reminded him that when she showed him the abbreviated list, he said he was “relieved,” which meant that if it had been longer, he would have been pissed. Ha, she totally turned it around on him. Lilly’s the best.
Of course, their little tiff ended with kisses and proclamations of moving forward; so it’s good to see that all’s well that ends well. Maybe next week Blair will get her head on straight. And please, for the love of Park Avenue, don’t let Nate go back to stupid Vanessa.
What did you think about the episode?