THE CITY PHOTOCAP: Jay Skips Town, Olivia Creates New Words

Did it happen? Did it really happen? Did Jay and Whitney finally break up on The City? I sure hope so because their relationship has constituted one of the most tiresome storylines in the history of the City / Hills / Laguna franchise. Not since Jessica and J-Wahl — or really LC and J-Wahl — have I wanted to shake one of these girls so hard and tell them to snap out of it. He’s no good! Jay is particularly annoying because unlike the unabashed (and reportedly reformed) douchebag that was Jason Wahler, Jay is more insidious and greasy. He’s also incredibly manipulative. When he sprung the news on Whitney that he was going away for a few months on tour, she was understandably mad. He thought it was because she didn’t trust him (not that he’s given her any reason to), but the real reason was because he simply had refrained from telling her for so long. Jay tried to turn it around on her, Spencer style, by saying that he knew she’d react like this and blah blah blah, but he was firmly in the wrong, and Whitney knew that. Thank goodness she’s not a Heidi pushover (at least for now. Looks like they’ll get back together next episode).
Meanwhile, on the Olivia front, the uptown girl got her just desserts when she totally bombed in a major presentation in front of the whole company, including Diane Von Furstenberg herself. Yes, despite oozing with confidence about the task all episode, Olivia was chock full of stutters and stammers, with a few portmanteaus thrown in for good measure (“multipletude”). This was sweet justice after Olivia took credit for Whitney’s ideas last week, and once again, their relationship proved to be the most interesting part of the show. Memo to producers: MORE OLIVIA.
Onto the photocap…

“Now we’d like to play another generic song from our upcoming album. It’s called ‘There Goes The Wallaby.’ 3-2-1… ‘Wall-la-la-la-la-la-la-by!'”

“By the way, Whit, I’m leaving for a three month tour. The world needs to hear our generic music. OY! Ayers Rock!!”

“Jay, you’re making me nauseous again.”

“Whit? You’re kicking me out? Do you think I’ve got kangaroos loose in the top paddock or something? OY! Nicole Kidman!!!”

“I’ve been hypnotized BY MY OWN EARRINGS.”

Olivia: “I love these bags! Or as I call them, Sparkly Mr. Butler Carriers.”

Whitney: “And then Jay just walked out!”
Erin: “Oh my gosh.”
Samantha: “It’s just so rude.”
Allie: “UUUGGGGGGGHHHHH. I’m so BORED. I wish I was at THAT table instead.”

Alixe Boyer: “Okay, let’s get this meeting started. I need to catch a red eye back to Fake England, from whence my accent came.”

“This new line of bags really should stress usability and portability. These are two qualities that define DVF as a brand, and we should certainly use that to play to our four quadrants of target consumers. I think Olivia can talk more about that…”

“Poopy.”

“I’m sorry, Whit, I think I need to be alone. OY! A dingo ate my baby!”

“Pardon my appearance, I was just cutting an onion. What was that you were saying?”

“Goodbye, Whit. OY! Sydney Opera House!”