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Last time on The Parsley Chronicles, I took drastic measures to save my ailing parsley plant by engaging in some painful, yet necessary pruning. The hope was to clear away the dead, bad vegetation and leave room for the few remaining bright spots to grow boundlessly. As a result, I was left with a near empty cup of soil, but all hope was not lost. I still had the Obama Sprout — a resilient, green sprout that seemed poised to restore life to its destitute environment.
Yes, it appeared as though a new era of verdant prosperity might be upon us soon, but as the days went by, I discovered that perhaps not even the Obama Sprout can take on the deadly forces of nature inside that God forsaken Ikea planter cup…

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Here’s the Obama Sprout on Saturday night. It still seems relatively healthy, but I’m alarmed by the slight discoloration in the leaves.

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I’ve been down this road before, and I don’t know if I have the strength to endure the loss of even the Obama Sprout.

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The good news is that the Obama Sprout has, well, sprouted! That’s right, there’s a third leaf growing now. Maybe the slight discoloration is nothing at all!

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The next day, however, things take a turn for the worst. One of the Obama Sprout leaves turns beige and curls inward.

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Maybe that’s a thing with parsley. For every new leaf that grows, an old one must die! Makes perfect sense!

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As you can see, there’s been little to no activity in the rest of the cup. Whatever tiny sprouts had been present earlier in the week were now completely gone.

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Two days later, the Obama Sprout’s second leaf was starting to curl up a little too.

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This can’t be happening…

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Yesterday, the cup looked all but done.

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Both formerly strong, proud leaves have crinkled up into pale ghosts of their former selves. Only one sprout remains.

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The fate of the entire cup lies in this sprout’s hands, er, leaves.

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Today.

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The drooping nature of the Obama Sprout does not bode well.

So here we are. We finally made it to week twelve, and there’s nothing left in the cup except a few erect stalks (with no leaves) and an ailing sprout. The end is nigh, people. But I’m not pulling the plug until I know this plant is totally dead. For now, it’s kind of like a video game — you know, you’re at the final boss, you’ve got one heart left, and you know you’re doomed but you think maybe, just maybe, you might be able to beat him. Hey, sometimes it happens.
Will the parsley survive the week? Stay tuned…