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I was so excited for American Idol last night, and the results were… eh. I can’t say I was particularly blown away by anyone, and I can’t say that anyone bombed in a spectacularly memorable fashion. Everyone was just sort of bland and forgettable. That being said, there’s still plenty to talk about, starting with the best singer of the evening, Allison Iraheta. I was completely surprised by this wee sixteen year old, especially after her pre-song interview with Ryan proved to be so awkward and painful that I naturally assumed all hope was lost for this nervous, red-headed lhasa apsa. However, butterflies be damned. Allison got up there and sung the hell out of “Alone” by Heart. She hit a few flat notes here and there, but her passion and connection to the song — not to mention her command of the stage — completely made up for it. I was really shocked. I had this girl pegged as “One To Hate,” but she proved me wrong. Hopefully she’ll be moving on.
Of course, just because you have command of the stage doesn’t mean you’re awesome. Take, for instance, Adam Lambert…


Adam clearly feels comfortable in front of an audience, and he certainly has an amazing voice. His only problem is his penchant for squealing like a pig, a well-honed skill I’m sure he learned somewhere in the boudoir. The guy can’t help being theatrical. I hate theatrical. Actually, I’ll amend that. I don’t hate theatrical. I only hate theatrical when a singer is trying to espouse a different image. For instance, if a guy were to come out on stage, dressed all tough and cool like a rock star and then start belting away as if he were starring in a revival of H.M.S. Pinafore, I tend to react negatively. Granted, not many musicals feature over the top squealing à la Adam Lambert, but his theatricality undercuts any legitimacy he strives for as a rock ‘n’ roller, and in the end, it all comes back to the notion that with Adam, his performance comes off as an act — an odd impersonation of Tina Turner and Axl Rose. Sure, some rockers can pull off the theatrics, but not Adam. And seriously: the hair. ’nuff said.
I do wonder if America will put Adam through though as despite his image problems, he does still have the best “pipes” of the guys. Personally, I kind of liked Kris Allen, an affable kid who’s received 0.0 seconds of screen time through this whole process. His little bio package showed him strumming on a geee-tar quite a bit; so I expected something in the Jack Johnson / Jason Mraz vein from him, but instead he gave us “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson. Look, I love that song as much as anyone, but I didn’t really find it to be a fantastic choice. Plus, he was shaky and off in the beginning. The good news, however, was that Kris got it together and delivered a really strong second-half of the tune. Will it be enough to push him into the next round? Not sure. But hey, at least he performed better than most the other guys. I’m looking at you, Matt Giraud.
Probably one of the biggest disappointments of the night, Matt Giraud looked to be a sure contender for the final twelve coming into the evening, but thanks to an ill-advised attempt at “Viva La Vida” by Coldplay, he wound up sounding like some strange version of Katharine Hepburn. Not good. Poor guy choked big time. Hopefully he’ll be back to plead his case to the judges on the Wild Card show.
And speaking of the judges, I’d like to point out this strange little thing introduced last night of having a rotating order to the proceedings. Listen, producers, the critiques should always end with Simon. Enough of this silliness. Luckily, not all of the tweaks were unsuccessful. I was most happy to see that Ryan would no longer be interviewing family and friends upstairs in the Coke lounge. This cut down on the awkward banter quotient by about 85%; although, Ryan still did manage to be off his game a few times by letting certain people’s banter go on a bit too long. I’m looking at you, Jeanine Vailes.
The leggy thrush from Sherman Oaks got on stage and pretty much butchered “This Love” by Maroon 5, which was unfortunate since this was pretty much her first chance to impress America (like Kris, she had no air time). Oh well. She really screwed THAT up. The girl was pretty terrible, and after a harsh reception by the judges, she begged for another chance. It was kind of pathetic. Go away.
Also not doing so well was Jasmine Murray, who seemed also like a sure-thing, what with her commercial appeal. Unfortunately, she was completely uneven with her version of “Love Song” by Sara Bareilles, and as the show’s opener, she proved to be a sad harbinger of what was to come. Other singers weren’t as bad as Jasmine, but they were simply forgettable. Mishavonna Henson was actually pretty good, but she sang the totally overdone and bland tune “Drops of Jupiter.” It was all sorts of blah. Similarly, Kai Kalama had a very nice voice, but when I heard he’d be singing “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted,” I groaned. So old fashioned. Sure enough, that’s exactly how the performance came off. Technically strong, but bland overall. Plus, he has Sideshow Bob hair, which isn’t necessarily a good thing on this show. Perhaps the blandest of them all, however, was Matt Breitzke, the welder/dick from Missouri who’s had a bit of an attitude the whole way through. The good news for him is that his voice really isn’t bad, and he didn’t miss any notes. The bad news is that he put me to sleep. I like the Tonic song that he sang, but like Randy said, it was not the proper vessel for his talents. Hopefully America used up all its blue-collar empathy last week with the unfortunate selection of Michael Sarver. At least that guy seemed nice. Matt’s just bland and unpleasant.
And speaking of unpleasant, holy Jesse Langseth. I think this girl earns the insufferable Brooke White award of 2009. I actually liked her performance, even if it was a bit too understated. However, when the judges began doling out their critiques, Jesse would not shut up. She kept saying “Mmmmhmmmm,” and then she was utterly patronizing with her interactions. Plus, I really hated her attempts to banter. She clearly wasn’t listening, only trying to project some personality. Well, she succeeded on that front, and unfortunately for her, that personality was AWFUL.
I much rather enjoyed the performance and personality more of Megan Joy Corkrey, who sang “Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae. Listen, I absolutely detest Corinne Bailey Rae; so if someone can sing that whiney, flaccid song, and I can enjoy it, then that’s usually a good thing. I agree with the judges that she lost it a little here and there, but overall, it was a really solid performance. I’m not sure if it was quite memorable enough to get through (or top Alison Iraheta), but you never know. Maybe she has an outside shot at slot #3 for the night, but I have a sneaking suspicion that might go to the one, the only Nick Mitchell, a.k.a. Normund Gentle.
Simon called Nick’s performance horrendous. The other judges seemed speechless. The audience, however, was besides itself… as it should’ve been. Nick was by far the most entertaining, the most memorable, and the most exciting singer of the night. Here’s where theatricality is a good thing. The guy is ridiculous, but he’s what this show needs: an all important jolt of personality. He’s funny — for now — and he can actually sing too. Purists will fret that he undermines the legitimacy of the show, but let me tell you something: that was something that was lost a long time ago (ahem, Sanjaya). Besides, it’s not like he’ll go to the top. I say keep him around a little while until the joke gets old and the bad singers get weeded out.
What did you think about last night’s group?